Hoxton Street Monster Supplies

"Whether you’re a Vampire, Werewolf, Sasquatch or some Thing else entirely, we have everything you need."

Hoxton Street Monster Supplies is such a fabulous shop. It's not just any kind of sweet shop, it's very specifically for monsters and goblin-y things. They're based in east London (I'm now suspecting all hipsters of being monsters) but if you're a monster with wifi, you can buy your monster potions and supplies online.

Does your magic spell call for salt made from tears of anger or tears of sorrow? Buy this salt made from tears set and your spells will have everything you need. (Note for humans: it's different kinds of spiced salt and it's £30 for the set.)

Perhaps you're a human and you need some advice on how to look after your monster. They can be troublesome things, and get into all sorts of mischief if they're not looked after properly. This set of monster housekeeping books is £10.

How about some tinned fear? You can decide if you want to give someone a vague sense of unease, or escalating panic! (Note to humans: they're sweets. They're £35 for the entire set or £8 a tin. You're frankly ruining everything with your sensible non-monster questions.)

In need of some banshee balls after a long night of screeching and wailing? These will sooth your throat. Humans will probably recognise these an aniseed balls. They're £4 a jar.

Cubed earwax is actually made from humans fed on a strict diet of tinned fear. Remarkably, the taste is very similar to clotted cream fudge. It's a fiver.

Clearly this is the very best place to get your monster supplies, although no doubt humans will find it expensive, despite thinking that the packaging is rather gorgeous. I'm off to pick up some organ marmalade.