Love It or, err, Love It: Marmite Cake

Have you ever tried to explain Marmite to someone who doesn't know what it is? It's basically impossible: "Err, it's this delicious, brown salty yeast sludge that you put on toast and things." The world knows that there are Marmite naysayers, but I am not one of them! Bring it forth, say I! 

Every self-respecting yeast extract lover knows that marmite is best paired with cheddar cheese. What happens when you're sick of sandwiches and are sitting in a park that doesn't have toaster facilities? We're doing what we did with the Mac n Cheese and are baking it! 

Savoury cakes are great for picnics, and you can riff on the flavours to combine whatever you like into delicious snack form. But this one is Marmite. Unequivocally, unapologetically Marmite.

Marmite Cake

Preparation time: 15 minutes

Baking time: 30-40 minutes

You'll need:

• 250g plain flour
• 1 tbsp baking powder
• 200g mature cheddar cheese, grated
• 4 free-range eggs
• 125ml olive oil
• 100ml milk
• 1 tablespoon plain yoghurt
• 1 tsp Marmite
• Large pinch of salt
• Freshly ground black pepper

For the topping:

• 20g butter, melted
• 2 tsp Marmite

Make it!

1. Preheat the oven to 180°C/350°F/Gas Mark 4 and lightly grease a 20cm round cake tin. (A silicon one works well for this).
2. Sift the flour and baking powder into a bowl along with 150g of the cheese and stir to combine. (Save the rest of the cheese for the top later).
3. In a separate bowl whisk the eggs until very frothy and gradually add the olive oil, milk, yoghurt, and Marmite, whisking well to combine. Season with the salt and black pepper, if you like.
4. Add the egg to the flour mixture in batches, stirring to combine. 
5. Scoop into the cake tin and smooth out evenly, the sprinkle the top with the rest of the grated cheese.
6. Bake for 30 to 35 minutes, until the cheese is golden and the cake feels firm. 
7. Cool in the tin for a few minutes.

The topping:

1. Melt the butter and Marmite together in a small saucepan. 
2. Whilst the cake is still warm, poke holes in the top with a skewer and drizzle over the melted butter-Marmite mixture. 
3. Serve with LARGE SLICES OF CHEDDAR and revel in glorious Marmiteyness...

Sluttishly Savoury: Mac & Cheese Picnic Slice

So this is tragically the final savoury post from me for D.S. Tear. I've had so much fun creating these posts, it sure is hard to say goodbye. I want to keep things true to form with this final recipe; easy, no fuss, but inspired with good times in mind.

We're ending on a July high - the parks (in London) have been completely overwhelmed. I trust it must be the same around the rest of the county. There has never been a better time than to have a party outdoors. You can be Queens (and kings) of the parks, supping on bubbly things. Not wanting to sound too sensible here but you'll need a few carbs to balance out the bubbles, and this mac and cheese picnic loaf will sort you right out.

I found myself eating cold spaghetti carbonara out of the fridge the other night — no judgement. I resolved there and then that cold spaghetti should be elevated to al fresco eating, not shameful secret eating. So here it is - mac and cheese, baked in a loaf tin and sliced.

By mixing cooked (or leftover) spaghetti with cheese, ham and eggs and baking it all makes for a dense, creamy slice of the spaghetti pie. Its structural integrity means it's perfect for picnic parties. Don't hold back on the cheese and ham, and throw in whatever you like; sun blushed tomatoes, olives, herbs etc.

Note — if you have any left over, take it home, fry (or griddle) each slice in butter, top with a fried egg and put some chilli sauce on the side. Pure filth, but when has that ever been a problem?

Spaghetti Pie (serves 8 at a picnic) 
Preparation Time: 15mins
Cooking Time: 1 hour

You will need:

• 500g spaghetti or macaroni
• 3 eggs, beaten
• 200g feta cheese, crumbled
• 100g gruyere cheese, grated
• 200g crème fraîche
• 2 garlic cloves, minced
• a handful of ham, finely chopped (I used parma)
• 1 tbsp olive oil

Make it!

1. Pre-heat the oven to 160C/325F/Gas 3. Cook the spaghetti for 8 minutes, or until al dente. Rinse under cold water to cool it down.
2. Beat the eggs in a bowl, crumble in the feta, gruyere, crème fraîche, garlic and ham. Toss the spaghetti through and season well. 
3. Lightly olive oil your baking tin (a loaf tin works well) and add the spaghetti, push it down a little so it's densely packed. 
4. Bake for about an hour. Leave to cool, then turn out and slice. 

Home Sluttery Home: Our Favourite Homewares and Interiors Designs

Domestic Sluttery has basically furnished my flat for me: from my Mini Moderns cushions and plates to my Made chair, with a fair few whimsical detours on the way. And it's like that in all of our houses: Sian has her Magnificent Dancing Horses and cupboard of gorgeous ceramics; Sara's print wall is a treat to behold including - naturally - some Tiny Confessions, amidst all sorts of adorable ridiculousness.

How can you begin to get your head around all the fabulous homewares and interiors designers we've featured over the years? Well, our directory is a great place to start with featuring reams of places where we'd be happy to spend our pretty pennies, from the big guns to perennial Sluttery favourites, such as Graham & Green, Rose & Grey, Rockett St George, Pedlars and Howkapow. But I want to pick out just a few of the designers who have brightened our homes as well as this shining corner of the internet over the last few years.

Something you may have noticed about us: we do like our animals. It doesn't matter whether they're in the form of flying pugs, crazy cats, or those ever-elusive unicorns.

And owls. God, so many owls.

Behind many of our favourite patterns are Anorak. Whether pony duvets, bunny sleeping bags or fox boxes, they've got all of your animal instincts covered.

And when it comes to pattern, I've learned about so many fantastic wallpaper designers through this site. Seriously, when you've got the chance to put Sian Zeng, Mini Moderns, Miss Print and Aimee Wilder's Robots on your walls, why would you ever go with plain old magnolia?

I'm not sure what the collective noun for cushions is but we've officially featured A LOT over the years. More animals, book cushions, Roald Dahl cushions, incredible Donna Wilson cushions. We're really very well cushioned.

Some of my favourites have to be those featuring the unique designs of Fanny Shorter. There they go looking all William Morris, then you realise you are looking at sliced up bits of the human body.

We've loved discovering clever bits of design to make your day that bit happier. Like a castle and horse egg and soldiers set. Or an egg and toast breakfast train. Or dinosaur cake stands. Actually, pretty much all of Seletti's back catalogue is a joy to explore.

It's pretty hard to resist a gorgeous piece of ceramic. We've aahhed over animal plates, swooned over Richard Brendon's designs and been lucky enough to eat our dinner off some of Snowden Flood's numbers. (Our recipe photos give good crockery.)

The last few years have also provided me with some glorious kitchenalia: novelty cookie cutters? robot rolling pins? bunny dish racks? Yes, yes and thrice yes.

And I can't forget some of those gadgets that could make life just that little bit easier each day - or sweeter in the case of the peanut butter maker - such as the iKettle (no, it doesn't actually make that cup of tea for you) and the all-conquering see-through toaster. Burnt baps begone!

I've bared scratched the surface of all the great homeware designs we've featured over the years: if you want some interiors inspiration, do have a rummage round the Home Sweet Home and Design Porn tags. There's loads of inspiring things hiding there. May all your homes be slutty ones!

Excellent Women: The Design Porn Edition

    Meow Rouge- £60

Having only just become a member of the Domestic Sluttery team at the beginning of this year, I'm as gutted as I'm sure you are to hear that the site is coming to a close. I had so many more excellent women to tell you about! More on that later - in the meantime I've decided to go ahead and publish a post I had planned anyway - a look at some of my favourite female artists. I've stuck to people who make affordable screenprints, as there's nothing worse than discovering an artist that you love and realising that unless you sell a kidney, you're never going to be able to have their work on your wall.

First up is Cassandra Yap. Sexy, retro art to make your bedroom feel really 'phwoar'. Cassandra works with vintage pin-up photographs to make gorgeous new images like 'Meow Rouge' above. I'm also a huge fan of her Erotic A-Z. Get your initials. Or your whole name. Or a rude word.

Mean Girls- £40

One of the things I love about artists who work in screenprinting is that they tend to be huge geeks. Start a conversation with one about fonts. Go on, I dare you. They're also fantastic at using popular culture in their work- Hattie Stewart is really the poster girl for taking something mainstream and making it infinitely cooler - see her 'Mean Girls' poster above. Or her alternative magazine covers.  Or the video she illustrated for Kylie's Sexercise where she basically makes a montage of Kylie's best bits a whole lot more fun with slightly trippy, dancing bananas and hot dogs and subtle stuff like that.

           Kylie Minogue: Sexercize by Hattie Stewart from Chandelier Creative on Vimeo.

I also love Jess Wilson's fantastic homage to the dance scene in Napoleon Dynamite - you can buy the poster on the Print Club London website. PCL is actually where I discovered screenprinting, it's a lovely studio run by yet another excellent woman, Kate Higginson, along with her husband and their creative director, artist Rose Stallard. Go along and try a workshop- there are honestly few things more satisfying than learning to use a squeegee.

Napoleon Dynamite- £40

If you're after something more classical, I can't recommend anyone more than Rosie Emerson. She  combines my love of vintage photography and hugely OTT headwear in her gorgeous portraits. I'm in love with her new series of cyanotypes. The Marlene Dietrich number below is available in her Etsy shop.

Marlene Dietrich £125

The Secret of England's Greatness £85

And if you want something classical but with a modern edge? The Secret of England's Greatness is still one of my favourite prints by artist Twinkle Troughton.  And I adore Tinsel Edward's revolutionary slogans which she paints in beautiful typography onto found items, from old jewellery boxes to shields and doors. Tinsel and Twinkle were actually childhood friends and have grown up often working together - they've done some brilliant projects, including kidnapping a banker.

So that's it - my final post is almost over. I'm working on my own project dedicated to excellent women so do follow me on Twitter for more updates. I wanted to leave you with some more sources of excellent women, so here are some sites that I regularly turn to for inspiration. 

• BUST- I so, so wish I'd had this magazine when I was a teenager. Same for Rookie. And pre-teens? I wish I'd had Amy Poehler's amazing Smart Girls site.
• Clothes, Cameras and Coffee Maybe if I'd had the sites above I'd have been as cool as Rosalind Jana when I was only 19? I doubt it though. Her blog is a lovely mix of lovely fashion pics and actually, really well written, brainy editorial content.
• Libertine magazine- 'for interested women'- their slogan says it all really. See also The Gentlewoman, whose cover stars include the likes of Angela Lansbury and Vivienne Westwood. Legends. Take a look at our guide to independent magazines for more reading material.
• Want to hear about excellent women in music? The Girls Are has it all.
• And excellent women writing and reading books? For Book's Sake is what you're after, run by Jane Bradley who was once deputy editor of this very website.
• Women on film? 'I am Dora' hosts great screenings and talks.
• Inspirational feminists? Try Bryony Kimmings, Gaggle and Nadia Kamil for starters. They'll lead you to others and that's exactly as it should be.

Gluten Free: Pimm's Trifle

Of all the gluten free recipes we've brought you, one has been notable by its absence. Trifle. I've been wrestling with trifle sponge for a long time (not literally, that would be weird). Much like with gremlins, bad things happen when you add liquid to gluten free cake. It tends to soak up far more than regular cake and the texture can only be described as "squishy crumbs". I've tried to make trifle with stale cake, muffins and genoise sponge. I've baked more versions of lady fingers and Savoirdi than you can imagine. Each time, they've burned or crumbled, and once, it spread into one massive sheet of very thin biscuit. The answer, it turned out, lay in a swiss roll sponge. There's no butter in the sponge, much like traditional trifle sponge, but it 's baked in a tin and it far more forgiving.

This is a Pimm's trifle. For me, a sherry trifle is too synonymous with Christmas, but Pimm's is a summer drink. We don't eat enough trifle in summer months, it's time to do something about that. And hey, when else can you put cucumber in your trifle and not face ridicule?!

Pimm's Trifle (serves 8)

Trifle Sponge
Preparation time: 15 minutes
Cooking time 15 minutes
You'll need:

• 2 large eggs
• 1 egg yolk
• 60g caster sugar
• 60g gluten free plain flour mix, sifted

Make it!

1. Preheat your oven to 180°C/350°F/gas mark 4 and grease and line a 20cm square cake tin.
2. Whisk the eggs, yolk and caster sugar for about 10 minutes, until light, fluffy and pale. The mixture will be at least 3 times its original volume when it's ready. (If you're using an electric hand whisk or stand mixture, it'll probably only take 5 minutes.)
3. Add half the GF flour and carefully fold it in. Don't use a wooden spoon here or you'll lose all of that lovely air from the mixture.
4. Add the rest of the flour mix and gently fold it in until the mixture is smooth.
5. Pour into the tin and spread the mixture into the edges. Bake for 15 minutes, until golden brown and firm to the touch.
6. Leave to cool before cutting into fingers.

For the trifle
Preparation time: 30 minutes, plus 4 hours to set the jelly
You'll need:

• a 7cm piece of cucumber
• 6 strawberries
• 1 orange
• a couple of sprigs of mint, leaves only
• 170ml Pimm's, plus 3-4 tbsp extra
• 12g sachet of gelatine granules (I used Dr Oetker)
• 400ml lemonade
• 500g ready made custard (make sure it's gluten free, a few aren't)
• 300ml double cream
• freeze dried strawberries and chopped mint, to garnish

Make it!

1. Remove the seeds from the cucumber and cube the rest.
2. Hull the strawberries and chop into pieces the same sort of size as the cucumber.
3. Zest the orange and set the zest aside. Cut the top and bottom off the orange and remove the skin and pith from the outside. Cut the segments out of the orange and cut each segment into 2 or 3 pieces. Squeeze the juice out of the 'carcass' of the orange and set aside with the zest.
4. Finely chop the mint leaves and mix with the cucumber, strawberries and orange segments. Add 3-4 tablespoons of Pimm's and toss together.
5. Place sponge fingers in the bottom of a bowl and sprinkle your Pimm's fruit over the top.
6. Heat the 170ml Pimm's in a saucepan. When it come to the boil, remove from the heat and sprinkle the gelatine over the top. Stir until all the granules are dissolved, then pour into the lemonade and stir to combine.
7. Pour the jelly mixture over the sponge and fruit. Refrigerate for at least 4 hours to set the jelly.
8. Once the jelly has set, mix the orange zest and juice with the custard and pour on top of the jelly.
9. Whip the cream until it is at the soft peak stage, then spread it on top of the custard.
10. Sprinkle freeze dried strawberries and chopped mint over the top to decorate.

An Illustrated History: Our Favourite Artists & Illustrators

Cher, on being told she might not make it onto this list

We've written about so many fantastic artists and illustrators over the past five and a bit years. Our tastes run the gamut from chic and stylised to twee and cartoony, and I've had great fun discovering new-to-me artwork to adorn my walls, eat my dinner off, and wear about my person. Let's take a look at some of our all-time favourites...

INSIDER SECRET: sometimes the Domestic Sluts let our cats write our posts for us. When we do, things like Tiny Confessions happen. Illustrator Christopher Rozzi has a whole book of his wonderful illustrations (other animals are available) if you can't choose just one. 

Laura Gee's Piss Off print perfectly illustrates the impudence of cats - and if you need to regain a modicum of control in your feline-filled house, invest in one of illustration duo Ink and Sword's public service announcements for pets. Shout out to Sara's cat, who still has 750g of that kilo to lose. We're rooting for you, Swinton. You've got this.

Unlike the real world, here at DS you'll find birds happily cohabiting with cats, and not a blood-spattered single feather in sight. The musician Edwyn Collins is also a talented illustrator, as evidenced on this gorgeous range of crockery produced by Elli Popp. Art runs in the Collins family - Edwyn's father, Peter, was one of my drawing tutors at art school, and yes, I was advised to rip it up and start again on several occasions, sometimes even with that song playing in the background.

Natasha Newton's beautiful paintings and prints are also bird-centric - although the stars and the moon also make an appearance. I love everything about her work - it is just so pretty. 

Jack Hughes is responsible for some very stylish illustrations, and we particularly love his drawings of gorgeous girls. Emma Cowlam is another illustrator focusing on the female form - much of her work is actually stitched, the loose ends of thread lending a sketchiness that out-sketches the sketchiness of an actual sketch. I could look at them all day long.

If you prefer the women in your prints to be slightly less fashion plate, and slightly more fucked up, Laura Callaghan's riotously colourful illustrations are for you. I'm still so fascinated by this artist - her visual narratives and attention to detail are simply amazing.

A love of exploring and adventuring unites the Domestic Sluts. I was excited when Frances found this Madrid print by illustrator Bianca Gomez, because I used to live there, and I can identify this street (C/Trafalgar) and have been to that grocery store. It's called Casa Zurdo and dates back to the 1930s. 

Closer to home, Thibaud Herem's beautiful black and white illustrations of famous London buildings are breathtakingly detailed - move over, photographs, you are no longer needed here.   

Our wanderlust would be nothing without a good map. We don't settle for a life of Ordnance Survey, though - go hand-drawn or go home, that's our motto (it isn't actually our motto. Don't have it inscribed on anything just yet). Lovely JoJo's illustrated maps came to us recommended by Lauren Laverne and India Knight, and - EXCITING THING ALERT - you can get involved with her next big project by suggesting somewhere or something for a people's map of the British Isles.

Jenni Sparks' London map is colourful, intricate, and useful - tourist sights are mixed with pubs, shops and secret haunts to make this one of the best maps of the capital we've seen. And I can't mention maps without extolling the virtues of Herb Lester's city guides - many a Domestic Sluttery holiday has been aided and abetted by one of these. 

Wearable illustrations are the best kind. Karen Mabon's work has captivated us since first glimpse - I love her depictions of everyday life, the repeat patterns of everything from the stock market to a sweet shop raid forming the basis of her beautiful printed silk scarves. 

Similarly, Lou Taylor's illustrations take the ordinary and make it extraordinary. Her use of colour and pattern, from the tiles on a swimming pool to the design of a vintage flask, is impeccable.

For a team that loves to eat and loves to cook, it's no surprise that we enjoy a food- and drink-related illustration. We even have our own chef-illustrator in the form of the multi-talented Alice! 

Nikki McWilliams and Gillian Kyle (that's her cushion pictured above) are two biscuit-loving illustrators here in Scotland, and I very much hope their Tunnock's-related sales have soared as much as those of the actual teacakes, following their starring role in Glasgow's Commonwealth opening ceremony.

Over in the bar, Crispin Finn's simple, graphic cocktail prints make us thirsty just looking at them. Make mine a caipirinha. 

Sometimes we just want our art to celebrate our favourite films and TV shows. Steph Baxter of The Happy Pencil has a range of prints for the Twin Peaks enthusiast, and Kate Rowland's illustrated jewellery based on that same show means you can wear your fangirl status with pride on your lapel. 

For me, however, the queen of pop culture illustration is Cindy Lesman of Oh Gosh, Cindy. Her Cher print at the top of this post has been joined by masses of other watercolours, including a crying Kim Kardashian, and she's moved to Newcastle from Holland! She's ours now. 

Have you ever bought anything by one of the artists or illustrators we've featured here on Domestic Sluttery? We'd love to hear about it in the comments. I've lost track, but my most recent purchase was No-one Wants To Play Sega With Harrison Ford, as recommended by Sara. I'm running out of wall space, guys. Send help. And more walls. 

The End of an Era

There is a cloud over the Sluttery HQ today. This will be the last week of publishing for Domestic Sluttery, we are closing our doors on August 1st.

We’ve been publishing for five and a half years now. That’s nearly 7000 posts covering amazing recipes, brilliant designers and wonderful things that have made our days brighter and our lives better. I’ve had an absolute blast running the site.

The first printed copy of the Domestic Sluttery book!

So why is the site closing? Because it’s coming close to not being fun any more. As a businesswoman I’m supposed to think of profits and overheads first (we’re doing fine on that front) but this site has always meant more than just being a commercial success. Domestic Sluttery has been the biggest part of my life and I wouldn’t have run the site for so long if it wasn’t fun. But blogging has changed so much, the industry is now very different to when we launched. It’s become about chasing pageviews and shares and fighting Facebook algorithms. I spend my time trying to find the things that will go viral, rather than getting excited about a brilliant new designer, or testing great recipes and really pushing what we write about to make it different from the other great lifestyle blogs out there. This year our editorial is the best it has ever been; I don’t want to measure the value of something by the number of likes a photo gets on a social network.

Since I’m about to become newly unemployed, I should stress that I still love creating exciting editorial and finding the best ways to share that with an audience. I love my job and I’m damn good at it but I think as an industry we’re losing the integrity around what we do. The driving force of Domestic Sluttery, the reason I’m so proud of it, has always been its community. The people who read the site every day, argue with us, tell us stupid stories, recreate our recipes and email us to tell us that we make their days brighter. That’s more important to me than thousands of Facebook shares.

Our readers making gingerbread houses. Big love to the Roudiani sisters.

The other reason I’m so sad to close the site is the amazing team of writers. Let’s talk about them, and publish some brilliant photos.

Gin and chocolate help with cooking.

Gemma was the first person I ever told about the site. It was snowing, we were a little drunk and I told a brilliant fashion editor about my idea for a new website. Sometimes I wonder if the site would have happened without that conversation.

Sara looking very kick ass. With unicorn jewellery.

I hired Laura B because her cover letter read like Sluttery Sales Spy. Sara hadn’t got five sentences into her email to us before mentioning drag queens and glitter. As for Laura H and Alice, I’ve had the pleasure of eating their food and spending time in their company. It’s a treat to be around such lovely and talented people.

Kat on the Orient Express.

I’d invited Kat to an event I was running with the intention of just getting to know her a little better, having a hunch from Twitter that she’d fit in perfectly. After hearing her belt out karaoke numbers with such ferocity, I decided to hire her immediately, cementing the Domestic Sluttery karaoke tradition. I stalked Caleigh and convinced her to join the team as our gluten free columnist and was so thrilled when she said yes. And astonished when she wrote her column right up to the point of going into labour. Katie is our newest team member and I only wish we’d been able to grow Excellent Women further into what we could see it becoming. And Nick? I was on a beach in Croatia when I decided he would make the perfect cocktail writer for the site. I think he’s still a little surprised by the decision, years later. I stand by it.

So long, Old School Yard. Thanks for all the gin.

As for Frances, she waited very patiently until I could afford to take on another writer, many years ago. She’s seen the site – and all of us – grow up. She’s done such a brilliant job as editor over the last year. No words can sum up the high esteem in which she’s regarded by me and the team.

Hire these amazing people to write words for you. They will enrich your lives in ways you couldn’t begin to imagine.

While I’m thanking people, do go and spend some money with our regular sponsors: Hunkydory Home, Shoes International, Quince Living and Flights of Nancy. It’s because of their support and the teams at Pavilion, Guardian Select and Skimlinks that I’ve been able to pay everybody and keep a roof over my head. And huge thanks to all of the companies, PRs and individuals who’ve supported us over the years. You know who you are. Your support is everything to us.

Best. Night. Ever.

I spend my days with such an incredible team, writing about supremely talented people and that’s what I’m going to miss about running the site each day. But Domestic Sluttery isn’t going anywhere, not really. You can still buy our book and the site will still be live as an archive. There are far too many brilliant recipes and features to dream of taking it down. Domestic Sluttery has always been about women doing things they love. It’s always been about trying something new and not caring about being perfect. It’s always been about making time to enjoy life as you damn well please. That’s not going to change. Our mums and grans were doing it long before us.

Perhaps, in some form, the site will return in the future. I’m open to all commercial offers concerning the site (email me, let’s talk), but for now, this is the right decision. Our main editorial rule has always been to write about what we love and to enjoy doing it. You’d know if we were faking it. The site has always been a joy to create and you, our brilliant readers, don’t deserve anything less than that. It has been a pleasure and a privilege to share ideas and silliness and talk about gin, gingerbread and unicorns with you. Thank you for letting us be a part of your day.

The Boy and his Poison: The Black Rat

This is a deceptively simple yet incredible long-cocktail. However, it's actually my brother's recipe. Last weekend, for his wedding, he not only sourced the drink, he also selected special glassware and left specific instructions for the bar staff to make it... and all this effort just for the head table where I was sat as the best man. It was in part a thank-you for the purgatory of the lead-up to the day, but his main motivation was a concession to what he called my 'recreational cocktail snobbery'.

It turned out to be the saviour of my role, providing much needed fuel for my speech. The hit of rum with the tang of orange and sweet fizz of the cola makes for a fantastic summer drink. So, welcome to a sophisticatedly tasty twist on a rum and coke - the Black Rat.

You’ll Need

• 75ml Rum
• 100ml Orange Juice
• Dash of Cola
• Dash of White Rum
• Squeeze of lime (optional)
• Dash of Angostura Butters (optional)
• Crushed ice

Make it

1. Pour the rum and orange juice in a shaker with a squeeze of lime and stir.
2. Fill a small glass or preferably a drink jar with crushed ice (if you don’t have any crushed ice just batter some ice cubes in a resealable bag with a rolling pin).
3. Strain the orange and rum over the ice. 
4. Pour over a dash of cola, a dash of white rum and a drop of angostura bitters.
5. Garnish with a slice of lime and serve with a straw.

Friday Wishlist: Gorgeous things you'll want to buy RIGHT NOW

The perfect dress. £34.99 from Lindy Bop.

The perfect unicorn key. £7 from Let's Go Hme. (Cut to fit any Yale lock.)

The perfect lobster and crab cookie cutters. £4 each from RE-found.

The perfect leather skirt. £125 from & Other Stories.

The perfect stripy bowl. £12 from Rockett St George.

The perfect shoes. £125 from Kurt Geiger.

Sluttery Sales Spy: French Connection, Boden & Urban Outfitters

Everything here has my SALE OF APPROVAL.

THE DRESSES

Embroidered shirt dress, £52.50 (was £70), ASOS

GUYS, someone stole summertime while we weren't looking, and embroidered it on to a dress. I LOVE THIS. The stitching continues all the way around the back - there's no thread-scrimping here, oh no. And there are pockets and buttons and all the other things we go wild for on a dress. The model looks like she's wearing the sky, just at the moment a breeze has blown the heads off of every flower in Alan Titchmarsh's garden. Poor Alan. They'll come again next year, pet.

Summer Bark dress, £64 (was £80), French Connection

I like that this is called Summer Bark, and even though I suspect it's a reference to trees, I'm going to imagine a small dog - probably a terrier of some kind - who changes his bark depending on the season. I think his summer bark is light and joyous, reminiscent of laughter and the tinkle of the ice cream van.

Oh, yes. Back to the dress. Well, the dress looks - in the very best way - like someone has intermittently wiped their brush on it during a heavy day of painting the shed. You can almost smell the turpentine from here, feel the satisfaction of a job well done. The petals from Alan Titchmarsh's flowers float by. In the distance, a small dog barks his tinkly bark. 

That fucking dog gets everywhere.

THE SKIRTS

Floral organza skirt, £48.50 (was £65), ASOS

Matchy-matchy things - or co-ords, which I recently discovered isn't just a fancy way of saying cords - are not usually for me. But this floral organza skirt from ASOS looks so good with the matching top that at first I thought it was a dress, albeit a dress with an annoying gap in the middle. And I actually adore it. Sadly, crop tops aren't ever coming anywhere near me, but that skirt will be.

Nancy skirt, £20.70 (was £69), Boden

Boden's Nancy dress has already made an appearance in Sales Spy, long ago in the mists of March when it seemed impossible that we would ever have a chance to wear it. Now the Nancy skirt has shown up to summer's party, shouting "Look at me! I'm only £20.70!" and wearing hideous shoes. Who among us doesn't know at least one person who's notorious for doing that? She is, though, a very pretty gatecrasher. She can sit with us.

THE BAGS

Nali studded bag, £34 (was £56), ASOS

When Nali described this bag as a wine bag, I got excited. Turns out it's not a bag filled with wine, and it doesn't have a tap on it for top-ups (unlike these "classy, camouflaged booze bags" - um). No, it's just wine-coloured, but I suppose you can haul about a bottle of plonk in it if you so wish.

Bucket bag, £6 (was £12.99), H&M

I've decided that I urgently need a watermelon-print bucket bag to carry on all my summer trips. Not only does it provide me with endless opportunities to say, "I carried a watermelon", but I actually could carry a watermelon in it, and that would be so meta that my head might EXPLODE, like a watermelon, and then I'd surely become the subject of a Daily Mail article investigating the dangers of watermelons.

THE HOMEWARES

Armrest chair, £80 (was £150), Urban Outfitters

All my life, I've wanted a plastic moulded chair that matches Krist Novoselic's purple trousers of 1992. Now my dream has come true, and I find myself having to re-evaluate everything. What's left for me now? I've reached the pinnacle of purpleness. At least I can have a nice sit down while I rewrite my life goals.

Broadway arrow lamp, £79 (was £89; typically £330 on the high street), Made.com

WANT. You can use this Broadway arrow lamp on the table or the wall - I'd probably use it as a table lamp, and move it around to highlight all the best bits of my house. Or rather, to distract from the piles of magazines and that box of mince pies from last Christmas I just found on the bookcase (it was UNOPENED, everyone. No need to call environmental health just yet).

What have you been buying this week?