Sluttishly Sweet: Our All-Time Favourite Desserts

Darling readers, you must all be the size of houses now given the amount of dessert recipes we've thrown at you over the years. For those of you who can still fit through your kitchen door, here's a round-up of the very best of the last five years.

In my trawl through the archives, the word that came up most often was 'boozy'. Chocolate whisky custard doesn't just have to come out for Burns Night, and boozy rhubarb and ginger trifle isn't just for Christmas. Boozy chocolate fudge trifle is suspiciously simple - to make and eat - as are mulled pears.

Sorry, have we broken you? Have some hangover French toast.

My god, we loved a tart, be it Bakewell, custard, walnut and maple syrup, or a very simple pear. We branched out into tarte tatins - take your pick from peach and vanilla or apple and pear.

At our most sluttish, we made things you don't even have to bake, like our chocolate ginger muesli bites, no cook fudge, or this mille crêpes no bake cake (which is just 20 pancakes, not actually 1000. Calm down).

We made our own versions (albeit often more decadent) of existing puds, like walnut whips with brandy - we really did love adding booze - Toblerone delight, dippy egg and soldiers (SPOILER: actually chocolate mousse and shortbread) and, of course, cronuts.

And we were waaaay ahead of the Commonwealth Games curve when we gave Tunnocks teacakes the ultimate treatment: we deep-fried them.

Remember our ginger chocolate pots? They got a mention in the national press way back in 2010 and we all had conniption fits with excitement.

Caranutter pie. Caleigh dreamed it. It's beautiful.

Rose and pistachio kulfi. Better than ice-cream.

Raspberry, rose and pistachio vacherin. What even is a vacherin? Doesn't matter. Look at it. LOOK AT IT.

Café bombón panna cotta - looks like a drink, actually a dessert. Perfect to finish a meal...

 ... and a perfect way to finish this post. I can't believe I won't be back to write about unicorns  / cakes / kittens / shiny things / bits of ribbon, etc, but looking at what we've created over the years makes me very proud. I've had four years of joy writing for Domestic Sluttery, which isn't bad seeing as after Sian gave me the job and told me I'd have to do a recipe a week, I very nearly backed out immediately. THE RECIPE THING WASN'T IN THE JOB DESCRIPTION, SIAN.

Anyway, it's properly thrilled me every time someone has made one of my recipes or bought something from a tiny independent shop I've recommended, so thank you if you did. Do keep in touch on Twitter or I'll be ever so cross.

Sluttishly Sweet: Pickled Watermelon Rind

Pickled watermelon rind is one of those culinary curiosities that befuddles my brain thinking about how it came into existence. Who looked at a watermelon, ate all its sweet, juicy flesh, spat out the seeds and then thought, "Hmm, I think I might try pickling all these leftover bits"?

Whatever the answer - and there's some dispute about whether the first watermelon rind pickle was made in Scandinavia, Eastern Europe, or the Deep South - I am thankful to that experimental cook. These pickles are delicious - sweet, sour, and a little bit spicy. They taste like a warm, summery Christmas - surely the perfect flavour - and they're great with cold meats and cheese, and anything barbecued. I love mine with stilton or goat's cheese, or a lovely bit of prosciutto.

The pickling process spans a couple of days, but most of that is fridge time. It's not labour intensive at all, so next time you buy a watermelon, keep those rinds and give this recipe a go. It's important to note that these are not cupboard pickles - they're fridge pickles, and will last a maximum of 10 days in there. That's why I only made a small batch - although the recipe scales up if you fancy making more.

And if you need a something to sing while you pickle, I can highly recommend my reworking of Beyoncé's Drunk In Love:

"I've been pickling watermelon"

Na na na na etc.

Pickled Watermelon Rind (makes enough to fill one 500ml-capacity jar)
Preparation time: 10 minutes
Fridge time: 48 hours in total
Cooking time: 10 minutes + 1 hour countertop cooling time

You will need:

• 400g watermelon rind, green skin removed with a peeler, and a sliver of pink flesh still intact. It should be cut into small chunks. For guidance, my whole melon weighed 3kg; the piece I used for this recipe weighed around 1kg, and that gave me 400g of rinds.
• 2 level tbsp salt
• 100ml distilled white vinegar
• 100g sugar (granulated or caster)
• ½ cinnamon stick
• 1 star anise
• 2-3 cloves
• 1 tsp pink peppercorns (optional)
• 1 small dried red chilli (optional)

Make it!

1. The watermelon rind pieces need to soak in salty water overnight, so put them in a bowl (not aluminium), then mix 350ml cold water with the salt and pour over the top. Cover, and leave in the fridge for 24 hours.
2. Once that's done, drain the rinds and rinse them really well in a colander.  
3. In a large saucepan, combine the rinds, vinegar, sugar, and 100ml water and simmer, stirring all the while, until the sugar dissolves. Add the star anise, cinnamon stick half, cloves, peppercorns and chilli and simmer for five more minutes, stirring occasionally.
4. Remove from the heat, and set aside to cool for about an hour. Then use a slotted spoon to scoop the rinds and spices into a sterilised 500ml Kilner jar or similar, and pour over the liquid so that the rinds are completely covered. 
5. Seal the jar and refrigerate for at least 24 hours before eating. Keep in the fridge for no more than 10 days. 

Tip!

• Play about with the spices and flavourings - ginger and lemon would be delicious instead of - or as well as - the above ingredients. 

Sluttishly Sweet: Cardamom Coffee Cakes

Here's one for wandering spirits: aromatic coffee and crushed cardamom seeds, sweet white chocolate and a hint of orange blossom... If you can't get away on holiday this summer, here's a trip to a souk in CAKE FORM.

Cardamom Coffee Cupcakes (makes 14-16, depending on cake cases)
Preparation time: 30 minutes
Baking time: 20-25 minutes

You will need:
For the cakes:

• 200g butter, softened
• 200g golden caster sugar
• 3 free-range eggs
• 200g self-raising flour
• 1 tsp orange blossom water (optional)
• 10 cardamom pods
• 50g white chocolate, finely chopped
• Splash of milk

For the topping:

• 175g butter, softened
• 250g icing sugar
• 1 heaped tsp instant coffee / espresso powder
• 50g white chocolate, finely grated
• Sprinkling ground coffee, to decorate

Make it!

The cakes:

1. Preheat the oven to 180C/350F/Gas Mark 4. Lightly grease the paper cupcake cases and place in a cupcake tin.
2. Cream together the butter and sugar until light and fluffy.
3. Beat the eggs in one at a time, with a tablespoon of the flour to stop the mixture from splitting.
4. Add the orange blossom water, if using and stir in.
5. Place the cardamom pods in a pestle and mortar and bash until the seeds come out of the husks. Discard the husks then pound the seeds into a powder (or use a spice grinder for this).
6. Stir into the cake mix, along with the white chocolate and the splash of milk.
7. Sift the rest of flour into the mixture gradually, folding in gently with a metal spoon.
8. Dollop into the paper cases, filling them 2/3 full.
9. Bake for 20-25 minutes until golden and risen and a skewer comes out clean.
10. Place on a wire rack to cool.

The topping:

1. Place the butter in a large bowl and sift in the icing sugar. 
2. Beat together until combined and fluffy.
3. Dilute the coffee powder with about 50ml hot water to make very strong coffee: stir in to taste, 2 tbsps should do it.
4. Cut a little inverted cone in the top of the cakes. Pipe onto the cakes or frost with a palette knife. 
5. Sprinkle with grated white chocolate and a tiny pinch of ground coffee. 

Sluttishly Sweet: Watermelon & Campari Jelly

I don't think you're ready for this jelly.

I don't think you're ready because it's watermelon and Campari flavoured.  I love the freshness of jelly, and there's no cleaner, fresher flavour than watermelon. How do you juice a watermelon I hear you ask? You don't. You buy juice. Rubicon do it. 

As the joy of jelly is as much about how it looks as how it tastes, suspending the seeds from a real watermelon makes it a real show-stopper. Campari reminds me of holidays in Italy, and its redness and slight bitterness make this a jelly for grown-ups. I know not everyone feels the same, so if it's not your thing, just leave it out. 

Watermelon & Campari Jelly (serves 4)
Preparation Time: 10 mins
Chilling Time: 4 hours

You will need:

• 6 gelatine leaves
• 470ml watermelon juice (I used Rubicon)
• Juice of 1 lime
• 50g sugar
• 1 shot of Campari
• Watermelon seeds, I cut mine out of a fresh watermelon— these aren't strictly necessary, but they look great.

Make it!

1. Submerge the gelatine leaves in cold water for them to soak.
2. Pour the watermelon juice, lime juice, sugar and Campari into a saucepan and gently bring to the boil. If you don't like Campari, just leave it out. 
3. Remove the gelatine leaves from the water — squeeze out the excess. Stir them into the hot liquid, making sure they're fully dissolved.
4. Pour into your mould or glasses and fridge them for about 4 hours. If you're adding them watermelon seeds, just stir them into the jelly once it's started to set - about 45 mins after it's been in the fridge. 
5. Dip the mould in hot water before turning it out. 

Sluttishly Sweet: Apricot Linzertorte

What do we love here at DSHQ? Shameless mucking about with classic recipes! This here's no exception; traditionally a linzertorte doesn't involve fresh fruit, but hey, who can resist beautiful, perfumed apricots when they're in season?

If you're like me, and are always running a couple of degrees too warm, then it's definitely worth chilling your hands before you handle the pastry; wrap them around a packet of frozen peas for a while or something. It makes everything a lot easier.

Apricot Linzertorte
Preparation time: 30 minutes (plus 60 minutes chilling time)
Baking time: 30 minutes

You will need: 

• 150g caster sugar 
• 150g plain flour 
• 150g ground almonds or hazelnuts 
• 2 tsp cinnamon 
• zest of 1 lemon 
• 150g cold butter, cubed 
• 1 free-range egg, beaten, plus one egg yolk 
• 300g apricot jam 
• 4-5 ripe apricots, sliced in half vertically and stoned 
• 1 tbsp milk 
• flaked almonds and icing sugar, to decorate 

Make it!

1. Place the caster sugar, flour, ground nuts, cinnamon and lemon zest into a large bowl and stir together until well combined. 
2. Add the cold, cubed butter and rub it in with your fingertips until the mixture resembles coarse, moist breadcrumbs. 
3. Add the beaten egg and bring together with a wooden spoon and then your hands until you have a ball of soft dough. 
4. Wrap in lightly oiled cling film and refrigerate for 30 minutes or so, until firm enough to roll. Cut away a quarter of the dough and return it to the cling film and the fridge 
5. Grease a 24cm, loose-based fluted tart tin. 
6. Press the dough into the tart tin using your hands, using the heel of your hand to press it gently until about half way up the edge of the tin. 
7. Spoon the jam onto the base of the tart and spread out into an even layer. 
8. Arrange the apricot halves, pressing down into the jam. 
9. Remove the remaining dough from the fridge. Roll out on a well floured surface until about the same length as your tin. 
10. Use a sharp knife or pastry cutter to cut thin strips from the dough (how many you need depends on how fancy you're going to be with the latticing!) 
11. Arrange across the surface of the tart, either in strips or weaving in and out, if you're feeling adventurous / arty! 
12. Press the edges into the dough at the edge, pinching any loose ends together. 
13. Cover and return to the fridge for 25-30 minutes. 
14. When ready to bake, preheat the oven to 190 C / 375 F / Gas Mark 5. 
15. Brush the tart with the milk, then bake for around 30 minutes, until the pastry is golden and the jam bubbling. 
16. Allow to cool in the tin for 5-10 minutes, then gently slide onto a serving board. Decorate with a sprinkling of icing sugar and toasted, flaked almonds.

Sluttishly Sweet: Cardamom and Rose Kulfi with Pistachios

When I was a small child I got terribly upset about a lot of things. Things like not wanting to wear shoes, not wanting to put a cardigan on, y'know, quite rightly VERY distressing stuff. My mum used mini milks as a soother. They helped dry the tears.

I am now considerably older and, while my upsets no longer tend to be cardigan-related, Kulfi - an eggless Indian ice-cream, like a giant, perfumed mini milk - acts as a small, dainty reminder that things turn out ok eventually.

Ladies - I insist you make this fragrant, pretty thing. Insist. It's beautifully perfumed and more importantly you don't need to whip, churn, stress. No ice-cream maker required.

I hands down prefer it to ice-cream. You can buy kulfi moulds which are long and pointy, but if you don't have them, as I didn't, then just use lolly moulds or small metal pudding moulds.

Cardamom & Rose Kulfi with Pistachios (makes 2)
Preparation Time: 10mins
Freezing Time: 3 hours or overnight

You will need:

• 150ml double cream
• 150ml tinned evaporated milk
• 6 cardamom pods, seeds removed and ground up in a pestle and mortar
• 70g caster sugar
• 1 tbsp rosewater
• a handful of pistachios, toasted

Make it!

1. Put the cream, evaporated milk, ground cardamom, sugar and rosewater in a pan. Bring slowly and gently to the boil, then remove from the heat and allow to cool in a bowl.
2. When cool, put the mixture in the fridge to cool completely.
3. Pour into moulds (tin ones work well) and freeze for a few hours. 
4. Dip them in hot water very briefly to remove from the mould and decorate with crushed pistachios. 

Sluttishly Sweet: Raspberry & Coconut Frittata

This recipe came about, like so many great recipes, because I had a lot of stuff to use up in my fridge. I'd gone WILD making a recipe that needed 10 egg yolks, and I didn't really fancy using the leftover whites for meringues. So I rummaged in the back of the fridge for inspiration, and found half a punnet of raspberries and an opened tin of coconut milk. Reader, the raspberry and coconut frittata was born.

Obviously, I only needed to use my egg whites here - no yolks. It made me feel pretty Hollywood and healthy, actually. Thrilling. However, I understand that having 10 egg whites in the fridge is a pretty rare occurrence, so feel free to use 6 whole eggs - yolks and all - in their place. The final frittata will be a little more eggy tasting, but no less delicious. And swap the raspberries for any other soft fruit you fancy - blueberries or peaches would be really good.

Raspberry & Coconut Frittata (serves 4)
Preparation time: less than 10 minutes
Cooking time: 30-45 minutes
You will need:

• 10 large egg whites or 6 large eggs
• 3 heaped tbsp caster sugar
• 3 tbsp coconut milk (cream or ordinary milk is fine, too, but there won't be such a coconutty flavour)
• ½ tsp vanilla extract (optional)
• A large handful of raspberries
• 2 tbsp desiccated coconut
• A small handful of flaked almonds
• A little extra caster sugar for sprinkling

Make it!

• Preheat the oven to 180°C/350°F/Gas Mark 4.
• In a large bowl, beat together the egg whites (or whole eggs if that's what you're using), caster sugar, coconut milk, and vanilla extract. Whisk for a couple of minutes until it's a bit frothy.
• Pour the mixture into an ovenproof dish. Scatter the raspberries, desiccated coconut, and flaked almonds over the top (the raspberries will sink, of course), and finish with a sprinkle of caster sugar. 
• Place in the centre of the oven for 30-45 minutes, until the egg has cooked through. You may want to cover the top with a bit of tin foil towards the end of cooking, to stop the almonds and coconut catching and ruining the frittata's good looks.
• Once it's done, remove from the oven and leave for a couple of minutes before serving in slices, drizzled with some honey or maple syrup. 

Sluttishly Sweet: Pimms Cake

Glorious tennis time might be over for another year, but that doesn't mean summer drinks time is! There are still plenty of vague sporting excuses for drinking jugs of cocktails in the middle of the day. Like, errr, cricket? Now, how to wash down those large glasses of Pimms? What's that? With more Pimms? In a cake? Why the heck not.

If Pimms ain't your thing, we can offer a gin and tonic cake, or a limoncello cake; in fact, we've pretty much got the whole aperitif spectrum covered, in crumb form.

Pimms Cake 

Preparation time: 30 minutes

Baking time: 45-50 minutes 

You will need:

For the cake:

• 225g butter, softened
• 225g caster sugar
• 4 free-range eggs
• 225g self-raising flour
• Zest of 1 lemon, plus a generous squeeze of juice
• Zest of 1 orange
• Handful mint leaves, finely chopped
• 2 tbsp Pimms

For the syrup:

• 50ml Pimms
• Juice of half an orange
• Generous squeeze lemon juice
• 2 inches cucumber, chopped
• 1 heaped tbsp icing sugar

To decorate:

• Icing sugar
• Chopped mint leaves
• Strawberries

Make it!
The cake:

1. Preheat the oven to 180C / 350F / Gas Mark 4. Grease and line a 900g / 2lb loaf tin. 
2. Cream together the butter and sugar until pale and very fluffy. 
3. Add in the eggs one at a time, along with a tablespoon of the flour to stop the mixture from splitting. Beat well in between.
4. Sift in the rest of the flour and stir gently until just combined. 
5. Add in the lemon and orange zest, the squeeze of juice, the mint leaves and the Pimms and stir gently into the cake mixture. 
6. Tip into the loaf tin and smooth the over the top
7. Bake for 45-50 minutes, until golden brown and a skewer or toothpick comes out clean. If the top is browning too fast, cover with foil until the centre catches up. 
8. Remove from the oven and leave in the tin to cool slightly.

The syrup:

1. While the cake is cooking, make yourself a Pimms. 
2. Then, place all the ingredients for the syrup in a jug. Stir together well and add a little more sugar to your taste, if necessary. 
3. Tip into a small saucepan over a medium heat and warm gently for a few minutes, to allow the flavours to come together. 
4. While the cake is still warm, poke holes all over the top with a fork or a skewer. 
5. Spoon over the liquid of the syrup (not the cucumber) so that it soaks in. You might need to wait and do a second round. (You'll probably have syrup left over). 
6. Quickly dust with a generous helping of icing sugar. 
7. Decorate with a sprinkling of chopped mint, fresh sliced strawberries, and of course, a jug of Pimms...

Gluten Free: Chocolate and Rum Brigadeiros

Brigadeiros are the Brazilian version of truffles and they're far too easy to make. Named after Brigadier Eduardo Gomes — a much celebrated Brazilian hero — the sweets were sold during his presidential campaign in the 40s. The campaign was said to have had the slogan "Vote no brigadeiro, que é bonito e é solteiro",  which roughly translates as "Vote for the brigadier who's good-looking and single". He didn't win.

The rum isn't traditional but I had a tiny bottle of Rumbullion and thought I'd put it to good use, although it does increase the setting time. If rum isn't your thing, try our chilli and orange version or lemon and coconut. If you want a traditional sweet, just use cocoa powder and chocolate sprinkles, otherwise let your imagination go running.

Chocolate and Rum Brigadeiros (makes about 25, depending on how much mixture you've eaten while 'checking' if it's set)

Cooking time: 10 minutes
Setting time: Your mixture will need at least 3 hours setting time, probably overnight if you're using rum.
Assembly time: 15 minutes

You'll need:

• 1 tin condensed milk (usually these are 400 grams)
• 4 tbsp cocoa powder, sifted
• 1 tbsp butter
• 30ml dark rum
• Sprinkles of all colours and varieties - you can also use desiccated coconut or chopped nuts.

Make it!

1. Add the condensed milk, cocoa powder, rum and butter to a pan and stir constantly over a low heat. Don't stop stirring. No, really. Your mixture will burn if you do.
2. After about 10 minutes your mixture should have thickened to a consistency that makes stirring tricky, then you're done.
3. Transfer your mixture to a bowl and pop in the fridge until set. Lick the mixture off the spatula.
4. When your mixture is set, it's time to roll into balls. Spread some butter on your hands before you start - this stage gets messy and the mixture will stick to your hands. You'll probably ignore this stage for the first ball thinking 'how sticky can it be?' Go and wash your hands.
5. Roll the balls around the size of a ping pong ball and then carefully roll them about in your sprinkles of choice. If you're using lots of different sprinkles, it's handy to have them all in different bowls so you can get a bit of a production line going. 
6. Pop them back in the fridge until you're ready to eat them. Share them with people you like. Maybe.

Top tip: If you've got any mixture left because Wimbledon was starting it'll taste brilliant in a cake or dolloped on top of some ice cream.

Sluttishly Sweet: Baked Mascarpone and Fig Tart

We love figs, mainly because they're the 'smart casual' of fruit: perfectly at home in a cake, good on a cheese board and equally happy with ham. Simple, but decadent, light and fragrant, but rich. Also: fig rolls. Amazing.

Here, they're paired with their ol' buddy mascarpone into a creamy, honeyed tart. This is good served cold and great with coffee (what isn't), so can be made in advance and stuck in the fridge.

Fresh figs really come into their own a bit later in the year: make sure you grab them when you see them (they should be soft and delicate, but not bruised) otherwise, tinned figs can be a handy alternative.

Baked Mascarpone & Fig Tart
Preparation time: 20 minutes
Baking time: 15 minutes + 45 minutes

You will need:

• 250g shortcrust pastry
• Sprinkling of icing sugar
• 500g mascarpone
• 2 eggs, plus 1 egg yolk
• 2 tbsp honey
• 125g caster sugar
• 1 tsp vanilla essence
• 1 tbsp flour
• 4 or 5 ripe figs, halved or sliced, depending on size 
• 2 tbsp honey and flaked nuts, to decorate

Make it!

The tart case:

1. Preheat the oven to 180C/350F/Gas Mark 4. Line and lightly grease a 23cm tart tin.
2. Sprinkle a clean work surface with icing sugar and roll out the shortcrust pastry to about 1cm thickness.
3. Press it into the prepared tin, leaving an overhang of a couple of inches (we'll trim it later). 
4. Prick some holes in the base with a fork, then place another sheet of greaseproof paper or similar in the base and fill with baking beads (or rice, or whatever). 
5. Place in the oven for 10 minutes until the sides are browning. Then, remove the baking beads and paper and bake for 5 minutes more before removing to a wire rack. 

The filling:

1. Place the mascarpone, eggs, egg yolk, honey, sugar, vanilla and flour in a bowl. Whisk or beat together until well combined.
2. Pour into the tart case. 
3. Arrange your sliced figs over the surface in whatever delightful pattern you choose. 
4. Sprinkle with a little caster sugar and place (carefully!) in the oven for around 45-50 minutes, or until the filling looks golden and set, but still wobbles when jiggled. 
5. Allow to cool. Use a sharp, serrated knife to trim the excess pastry so that it looks neat. 
6. Dilute the honey with a splash of hot water and drizzle or brush all over the surface of the tart.
7. Sprinkle with toasted flaked nuts to serve.

Sluttishly Sweet: Rose & Almond Cheesecake

Here's a prepare-ahead dessert for those days when it's just too hot to even contemplate using the oven. It's light, fragrant and perfect post BBQ: the long chilling time also means more time lounging outside, ignoring your frisbee in the park.

Some people love it, some people hate it, but here at DSHQ we have a long tradition of putting flowers in our food. Whether it's out Rose Petal Masala, our luscious lavender cake or our orange blossom polenta cake, we love a floral note (mostly) and here's one paired with North African-inspired almonds, honey and tahini.

Rose & Almond Cheesecake
Preparation time: 25 minutes
Chilling time: 4 hours +
You will need:
For the base:

• 150g digestive biscuits
• 50g flaked almonds
• 4 tbsp tahini
• 3 tbsp melted butter

For the rose syrup:

• 3 tbsp caster sugar
• 2 tbsp dried rose petals (if you can't find any use 1 tsp rose water: I found them in my local health food shop though)
• 5 tbsp water

For the topping:

• 500g greek yoghurt
• 2 tbsp cream cheese
• 2 tsp orange blossom water (or rose extract - to taste)
• 2 tbsp honey

To decorate:

• Handful flaked almonds 
• 1 tbsp icing sugar 
• Scattering rose petals

Make it!
The base:

1. Lightly grease the base of a 23cm, spring form tin and line the bottom with a circle of baking parchment.
2. Place the biscuits and almonds together in a zip-lock bag, seal and bash about a bit with something heavy (a rolling pin / spoon / your shoe) until they are broken into pieces. I like to leave a few larger bits in there, for texture. 
3. Tip into a mixing bowl and add the tahini and melted butter. Stir together well until combined. 
4. Spoon the mixture into the tin, pressing down firmly and to the edges into an even layer.
5. Cover and place in the fridge. 

The rose syrup:

1. Put the caster sugar, rose petals or extract and water in a small saucepan and swirl together.
2. Place over a medium heat and simmer gently until the liquid is reduced by half: about 7-8 minutes. 
3. Remove from the heat and set aside.

The topping:

1. In a large bowl, mix together the yoghurt, cream cheese, orange blossom water and honey until combined.
2. Stir in the rose syrup. 
3. Pour onto the chilled base, smoothing over the top.
4. Cover and place in the fridge for at least four hours - it will need this long to set. 
5. When ready to serve, place the handful of flaked almonds in a small, dry saucepan and set over a medium heat. Toast for 3-4 minutes (watch them carefully) tossing frequently until golden brown. Tip onto a plate to cool. 
6. To decorate, gently remove from the tin and sift 1 tbsp icing sugar over the surface, followed by a sprinkling of rose petals and the almonds.

Sluttishly Sweet: Coconut Nests

There are some people that don't like chocolate. There are also people who eat too much chocolate over the Easter period and never want to look at chocolate again until ... the following week. Or perhaps you've already used up all your chocolate in our clever every flavour chocolate cupcakes. 

These little coconut nests are the perfect solution. They are incredibly delicious, bite size coconut morsels of joy – crunchy on the outside with soft and pillowy innards. They are embarrassingly easy to make and don't require any special ingredients other than desiccated coconut, available from most local corner shops. Oh, and they have the added bonus of being gluten free. 

Coconut Bites (makes about 16)

Preparation Time: 5mins

Fridge Time: 30mins

Cooking Time: 10mins

• 200g desiccated coconut
• 150g caster sugar
• 2 eggs
• 2 egg yolks
• 50g butter, melted

Make it!

1. Mix all the ingredients together in a bowl.
2. Leave the mix in the fridge for about half an hour, to firm up (it can be left for a few days).
3. When you're ready to bake, heat the oven to 180C/350F/Gas4.
4. Shape the mixture into little balls, a bit smaller than a golf ball (don't make them too neat). 
5. Bake for 10 minutes or until golden. 

Baking for Beginners: Every-Flavour Chocolate Cupcakes

Anyone who read (or watched) Harry Potter will remember Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans... well, these cupcakes are a bit like that. Except there aren't any nasty surprises lurking, just a variety of delicious chocolate bursts.

Here at DSHQ we're well known for creating unholy cake combinations, like these ever-popular Creme Egg Surprises. Everyone knows that once the Easter egg chocolate is long-finished, there are all the extras hanging around, those chocolate bars that you can't quite face on their own. Here's a way to combine them into a surprise round of cupcakes (perfect if there's any you don't like much). Kids will love to help make these, too.

Every Flavour Chocolate Cupcakes (Makes 8 large or 12 small)
Preparation time: 30 minutes
Cooking time: 20 minutes
You will need:

• A selection of chocolate bars, cut into pieces, or sweets, 8-12. (I used pieces of Snickers, Dairy Milk Caramel and a couple of random chocolates...)
• 125g butter, softened
• 125g caster sugar
• 2 free-range eggs
• 100g self-raising flour
• 15g cocoa powder
• 1/2 tsp vanilla essence
• 2 tbsp milk
• A few squares of chocolate, to decorate

Make it!

1. Cut your chocolate bars into 1 inch pieces (if using), then put your chocolates in a ziplock bag or similar and place in the freezer for at least half an hour.
2. Preheat the oven to 180 C / 350 F / Gas Mark 4. Grease and line a muffin or cupcake tray with cupcake cases.
3. Cream together the butter and sugar until pale and fluffy. 
4. Add in the eggs once at a time, with a spoonful of flour to stop the mixture from splitting. Beat well in between. 
5. Sift together the remaining flour and cocoa powder, and carefully fold in using a metal spoon. 
6. Gently stir in the milk and vanilla essence. 
7. Fill the cupcakes cases a quarter full, then take one of your frozen chocolate pieces and press gently into the middle of the batter. Cover the chocolate with more batter. Repeat with the others.
8. Bake for 20-25 minutes until firm and a skewer inserted into the cake comes out clean. 
9. Remove from the tin and leave to cool for a few minutes on a wire rack. 
10. Melt a few squares of chocolate and drizzle it over the top of the cakes to decorate. Eat warm, whilst the surprise centres are still lovely and gooey...

Sluttishly Sweet: Charoset Truffles

Sundown on Monday brings with it the start of Passover, the eight-day Jewish festival celebrating the emancipation of the Israelites from slavery in Egypt. As with so much of Jewish life, food is the cornerstone of this holiday - and in turn, charoset is the cornerstone of Passover grub.

To tell you about charoset, I do have to give a very brief Religious Studies lesson. On the evening of the first day of Passover, Jewish families have a Seder, a ritual feast. The most important part of this feast is the Seder Plate, a special, um, plate containing an array of symbolic foods.

I won't list them all here, but highlights include parsley dipped in salt water (this symbolises the tears shed by the slaves); a roasted hard-boiled egg (it represents - variously - rebirth, springtime, and our mourning at the loss of the Temple); and charoset, which looks like the mortar used by the slaves between their bricks. Fortunately, it tastes nothing like mortar.

At its most basic, charoset is a mixture of apples, walnuts, cinnamon and WINE. It is widely considered to be the best bit of the Seder Plate (admittedly it doesn't have much competition). The recipe changes from family to family and from place to place, and this one relies heavily on dates, apricots, and pistachios to make, quite frankly, the best charoset ever. Do I want a bowl of mortar at my table, though? Not especially. Sephardic Jews often roll their charoset into balls; I've done the same, and gone one further by coating them in cocoa, coconut, and cinnamon sugar for the ultimate delicious - and good-looking - Passover treat.

The following recipe is kosher for Passover - if you're preparing this for observant friends, look for wine marked 'Kosher for Passover', 'KP', or simply 'P'. It's complicated. Substitute freshly-squeezed orange juice if you're worried.

Charoset Truffles (makes 15-20)
Preparation time: 10 minutes
Chilling time: At least 1 hour
You will need:

• 100g shelled walnuts
• 60g shelled pistachios
• 100g pitted dates
• 50g dried apricots
• 50g golden raisins 
• 1 apple (Golden Delicious for preference), peeled, cored, and roughly chopped
• 1 tsp ground ginger
• 1 tsp ground cinnamon
• 2 tbsp light brown muscovado sugar
• 1 tbsp runny honey
• 1-2 tbsp sweet red Passover wine, or just kosher wine if you're not strict, or indeed any sort of wine if you don't keep kosher
• 1 tbsp shredded desiccated coconut
• 1 tbsp finest-quality cocoa powder
• 1 tbsp brown sugar, mixed with a pinch of ground cinnamon

Make it!

1. Using one of those special grindy gadgets, or a blender on a stick, grind the walnuts and pistachios. Up to you how fine you go - I like to leave some chunky bits in there for texture.
2. Remove the nuts and now mush up the dates, apricots, raisins, and apple in the same way, until you have a paste. 
3. Combine the nuts and fruit in a bowl, and add the ginger, cinnamon, sugar and honey, and stir well. Taste, and add more cinnamon or ginger as you wish. Now we need to add the wine! Start with a tablespoon and build up if you feel the mixture needs a little extra liquid.
4. Pop your charoset in the fridge for about half an hour to firm up. After this time, sprinkle the coconut, cocoa, and brown sugar on a plate or chopping board (in separate sections), and with clean hands, roll a scant tablespoon's-worth of charoset into a ball, then dip and roll into the topping of your choice. Repeat until all the mixture has been used, and you have a variety of charoset truffles.
5. Back in the fridge we go, for as little as half an hour, or as long as overnight. Your truffles will keep for 2-3 days, but do cover them in clingfilm if you're keeping them for that long. 

And now all that's left is for me to wish you...

חג פסח שמח 

... or Happy Passover!

Sluttishly Sweet: Peach & Amaretto Crème Brûlée

Could there possibly be a better dessert than crème brûlée? It's light, rich, decadent, spoon-cracking indulgence in a pot for one. We've got a dairy-free version covered with our cardamom and coconut offering, but here's another, summery twist on an old classic to use up some of that delightful almondy booze that's lurking in the cupboard. The fresh fruit in this works nicely to cut through some of the richness, if your taste buds are a little sugar-shy, like mine.

Peach & Amaretto Crème Brûlée (Makes 6)
Preparation time: 20 minutes
Cooking time: 40-45 minutes (plus 1 hour chilling time)
You will need:

• 500ml double cream
• 1 vanilla pod
• 6 free-range egg yolks
• 100g caster sugar (plus a little extra for the top)
• 2 tbsp amaretto
• 2 ripe peaches or nectarines, finely diced

Make it!

1. Preheat your oven to 150 C / 300 F / Gas Mark 2.
2. Tip the cream into a saucepan. 
3. Slice open the vanilla pod and scrape the seeds into the cream. Chop the pod into a couple of pieces and throw that in there too.
4. Heat the cream gently until it is almost at boiling point. 
5. Meanwhile, in a large heatproof bowl, whisk together the egg yolks and caster sugar until pale and creamy. 
6. When the cream is ready, pour it into the egg mixture slowly, whisking continuously as you go. (another pair of hands helps no end here), until the mixture begins to thicken slightly.
7. Strain through a fine mesh sieve into a jug. Stir in the amaretto.
8. Pour a little crème brûlée mixture into the bottom of each ramekin, then dollop in a teaspoonful of fresh diced peach, and top up with more custard, until two thirds full. 
9. Place the ramekins in a deep roasting tray, then pour water around them until they are half-submerged in a bain-marie.
10. Bake the custards in the oven for 40-45 minutes until they are set but still jiggle a little when you wobble the tray. 
11. Remove from the water and leave until they are cool enough to put in the fridge. 
12. Chill for at least one hour. 
13. To make the brûlée topping, sprinkle the top of each custard with 1 tsp caster sugar, then caramelize, using either a chef's blow-torch (super fun) or under a hot grill until the sugar is melted and browned. 
14. Leave for a few minutes to develop a distinctive crack, then dive in, spoons-a-go...

Sluttishly Sweet: Earl Grey Milk Jam

With Mother's Day just around the corner, it's time to think about what we'll serve our beloved mamas for breakfast in bed on Sunday. I'm here to help with quite simply the easiest, tastiest, cheatiest and Sluttiest spread for scones, crumpets, toast, and spoons.

Milk jam is like dulce de leche or confiture de lait - milk and sugar at its most basic. But why faff when you can just buy condensed milk? Why indeed. The creative cookery door is wide open for you to experiment with your own flavours - I've listed some suggestions below - and my choice of Earl Grey adds a delicate but distinct tea taste which is both unusual and comforting.

Beware: this is very moreish indeed. You may become addicted, and if you do, I accept no responsibility.

Earl Grey Milk Jam (makes one small jar)
Preparation time: Less than 5 minutes
Cooking time: 10 minutes
You will need:

• A 397g tin of sweetened condensed milk
• 1 Earl Grey teabag
• 5 tbsp boiling water

Make it!

1. Over a very low flame, and in a heavy-bottomed saucepan, gently heat the condensed milk, stirring pretty much constantly. Get it to a simmer and keep going until it's reduced to a thick, gloopy consistency. 
2. Meanwhile, steep your teabag in the boiling water - I gave mine five minutes for maximum flavour. 
3. Take the condensed milk off the heat, pour in the tea (not the bag or the leaves - just the watery bit!), and whisk for about a minute until smooth.
4. Transfer to a sterilised jar or other container, and leave to cool before placing in the fridge. It'll be ready to eat after a couple of hours, but overnight is best.

Not to be too smug, but I am in possession of a dedicated Mother's Day plate. 

Tips

• In a sealed jar, your milk jam should last in the fridge for 1-2 weeks - some people keep it longer, so use your judgement! (It'll never last that long, anyway - you'll have eaten it.)
• Experiment with flavours! Here are some suggestions to get you going...
• Coffee: brew up espresso using the same quantity of hot water above.
• Chai: exactly like this recipe, but using a chai teabag or chai concentrate. Or go with Assam, Darjeeling, perhaps even green or matcha tea.
• Add a little salt to the reduced condensed milk for a salted caramel flavour.
• Rose or lavender flavouring or syrup, or even some petals, will give you a gorgeous floral scent and taste.
• A cardamom pod, cinnamon stick, star anise, or even a lump of ginger added to the condensed milk while it's heating will make a sweetly-scented, spicy milk jam.
• BOOZE: I haven't tried this, so can't vouch for it, but why not? Whisky, rum, Baileys, coffee liqueur... the possibilities are endless. I quite fancy it with Malibu. Yes, really.

Do report back if you try another flavour!

Sluttishly Sweet: Blood-Orange Meringue Posset

For years and years I have made the most Traditional of Old English desserts – lemon posset – as my fail safe, trusted pudding. I am lazy, so any dessert that can be made with only three (yes, I said it, three!) ingredients is going to be my friend.

Lemons.
Sugar.
Cream.

That's all you need.

But, as with most things done repeatedly for years and years, it becomes reliable and a tad dull. I decided it was time to get zesty and give the posset a makeover. Now, we have had some excellent variations on posset in the past but what I came up with was this time can only be described as a hybrid between a lemon meringue pie and an orange posset. It's really delicious and as easy as lemon meringue (non-pie) to make. Nice with biscuits of various descriptions.

Note: You will need a small kitchen blow torch. If you don't have one – just get one. You can pretend you're in Flashdance AND they also come in handy for things like chargrilling peppers, barbecuing corn and getting things out of moulds.

Blood Orange Meringue Posset (makes 3)
Preparation time: 15 minutes
Chilling time: over an hour

• 300ml double cream
• 75g caster sugar
• 1 lemon, juiced and zested
• 1 blood orange, juiced and zested
• 2 egg whites
• 100g sugar

Make it!

• Combine the cream and sugar in a saucepan and bring to the boil on a very low heat.
• Boil for 3 minutes, then remove from the heat and stir in the orange and lemon juice and zest.
• Transfer to pretty ramekins (I like to use dinky coffee cups) and chill for at least an hour (overnight is best).
• When your possets are chilled, you can crack on with the meringue.
• Over a ban-marie, combine the egg whites and sugar, stir until the sugar has dissolved.
• Whisk the sugary egg whites until they are stiff and shiny.
• Top the possets with a generous amount of meringue and use a blow torch to colour and cook the meringue.

Sluttishly Sweet: Walnut Whips

I was thinking about walnut whips the other day, and how great they were when I was a kid. My dad would always bring one back when we stopped at a petrol station. Of course, I then started pondering on how I could get a walnut whip fix, and possibly make them more decadent at the same time. Cue: brandy, and mascarpone and caramelised walnuts; a slightly more sophisticated take on everyone's favourite chocolatey-walnutty classic.

What is absolutely essential for this recipe is a silicon tray to make the chocolate shells in: it doesn't need to be a cupcake tray (you might have a fancy chocolate-making one lying around somewhere) but if you don't already have one, go buy one! They're super useful. And then make these. And send some to me. I ate mine already.

Walnut Whips (Makes 8)
You will need:

• 150g dark chocolate
• knob of butter, melted
• 250g mascarpone
• 2 tbsp icing sugar
• 1 vanilla pod, seeds scraped out or 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 tbsp brandy

For the caramelised walnuts: 

• Handful walnut halves
• 1 heaped tbsp muscovado sugar

Make it!

The walnut whips:

1. Break the dark chocolate into pieces and melt it in a bain marie, or in 20 second bursts in the microwave. 
2. Using a pastry brush, grease the silicon cupcake cases with the melted butter. 
3. Then, brush the moulds with 3/4 of the melted chocolate, making sure you get a thick, even covering on the sides and bottom. 
4. Place the tray in the fridge for 15-20 minutes in order to set.
5. Re-melt the remaining chocolate if necessary, and brush an extra layer in all of the moulds, before returning to the fridge for another 15 minutes.
6. Meanwhile, place the mascarpone, icing sugar, vanilla and brandy in a bowl and beat together until well combined. 
7. Carefully pop the chocolate shells out of the silicon moulds. You might want to place them in cupcake cases at this point, to avoid them melting when you touch them.
8. Fill a piping bag with the mascarpone mixture, and pipe into the chocolate shells. 

The caramelised walnuts:

1. Place the muscovado sugar along with 1 tbsp water in a small pan and wait until the sugar is melted and bubbling. 
2. Drop the walnut halves into the sugar, turning them to ensure an even covering. 
3. Spoon out onto a plate or board to set. 
4. When ready, top each walnut whip with a caramelised walnut half and sit back to enjoy your (totally not for kids) treat. 

Sluttishly Sweet: Honey & Sesame Cakes

These cakes are rather like English madeleines (remember those?), little light sponge towers rolled in chocolate icing and coconut that always seemed to be hanging around in the bakery window. These are a slightly more sophisticated version, with toasted sesame seeds, orange blossom and sticky honey making them perfect for elevenses, or twelveses, or maybe lunch...

If you don't have any dariole moulds you can use ramekins; depending on the size you might have to increase the baking time by 5 minutes or so.

Honey & Sesame Cakes (Makes 6)

You will need:

For the cakes:

• 125g butter, softened
• 125g caster sugar
• 2 free-range eggs
• 125g self raising flour
• 1 tbsp honey
• 1 tsp orange blossom water (optional)

For the topping:

• 5 tbsp honey
• 40g sesame seeds
• Drizzle of honey, to decorate

Make it!

1. Preheat the over to 160 C / 325 F / Gas Mark 3. Grease 6 large dariole moulds. (If you don't have dariole moulds, you could use the deepest muffin tray you have or deep ramekins; you may need to adjust the cooking time accordingly). 
2. Cream together the butter and sugar until pale and fluffy. 
3. Beat the eggs in a separate bowl, then add in a quarter at a time, with a tablespoon of flour to stop the mixture from splitting. Repeat with the rest of the eggs. 
4. Gently fold in the remaining flour until just combined.
5. Carefully stir in the spoonful of honey and orange blossom water, if using. 
6. Spoon into the moulds, filling them 1/2 full (don't overfill because they'll explode) and bake for 20-25 minutes.
7. Place on a wire rack to cool for around 10 minutes. Then, turn out the cakes and level the tops with a sharp knife, so that they stand firmly. Leave to finish cooling.

The topping:

1. In a small, dry saucepan, toast the sesame seeds for a few minutes until fragrant and golden-brown. Tip onto a large flat plate.
2. Warm the honey in a small saucepan with a splash of hot water. 
3. Stick a fork in the bottom of the cakes and roll in the honey until coated, then roll in the sesame seeds. 
4. Decorate with another drizzle of honey and TRY not to eat the whole plate before dinner.

Sluttishly Sweet: Spiced Apple Crumble & Custard Pie

As a festive change from all the traditional pudding, mince pies and cake, what could be nicer than a Christmassy spiced apple crumble pie? Christmassy spiced apple crumble pie with custard that's what. But, living with a custard hater (le gasp!), I don't get to indulge in the custard as often as I'd like.

What to do? In the finest tradition of home cooking, I hid it. Yes, the custard is still there but inside the pie. Sneaky non? Making your own custard really is simple but you can always buy the ready-made stuff, add some cinnamon and heat it up before adding to the pie.

Spiced Apple Crumble & Custard Pie
You'll need:

For the pie:

• 1 pack of ready-made shortcrust pastry (or check out our gluten-free version here)
• 4-5 medium sized sweet apples peeled and cut into large even chunks (I used Royal Gala)
• 100g brown sugar
• 2 tsps allspice (or any mix of cinnamon, nutmeg and ginger)
• pinch of salt
• handful dried fruits chopped (which you can certainly soak in booze the night before - do it, you won't regret it)

For the custard:

• 300ml full fat milk (or a mix of 100ml double cream and 200ml semi-skimmed)
• half a vanilla pod 
• 2-3 egg yolks depending on their size.
• 1 tsp corn flour
• 25g granulated sugar
• 1 tsp cinnamon

For the crumble topping:

• 150g rolled oats that have been lightly toasted
• 125g brown sugar
• 100g plain white flour
• 25g butter cubed

Make it!

1. Pre heat the oven to 170°C/325°F/Gas Mark 3.
2. Line bottom of a 20cm cake tin with some baking paper and roll the shortcrust pastry out till it's about 3-4mm thin.
3. Gently place the pastry in the tin, pushing it down into the corners and against the sides, trim it leaving a generous over hang at the top, pastry tends to shrink when baked so this'll make sure the walls of the pie stay nice and high.
4. Scrunch up a large piece of baking paper and place in the tin on top of the pastry, weigh it down with some dried beans, ceramic balls, dry rice, basically anything with some weight and pop in the oven to blind bake for 20 minutes, then remove the beans/balls/rice and pop it back in for another 5 minutes. Once it's out whack the oven up to 190°C/375°F/Gas Mark 5.
5. Throw the apples, brown sugar, allspice, salt and dried fruits in a pan over a medium high heat and stir occasionally, once the apples start to break down and the sugar becomes gloopy and sticky take it off the heat and put to one side.
6. For the custard, put the egg yolks, corn flour and sugar in a clean bowl and whisk together till you get a thick paste. 
7. Pour the milk into a pan and add the seeds from the vanilla pod, the cinnamon and bring it to the boil. Once it's bubbling take it off the heat and add it a little at bit at a time to the egg mix while whisking vigorously. 
8. When it's all added pour it back into the pan and put it over a low to medium heat, stirring constantly to make sure it doesn't stick. Keep it up till it becomes super thick, not stand a spoon up in it thick but like ... well like luxury custard thick. Strain it through a fine sieve into a clean bowl and pop to one side.
9. Throw all the crumble ingredients in a bowl and rub them together roughly with your finger tips until you have lovely lumpy crumble.
10. Now build the pie! Spread the apple mix evenly onto the pastry case first, follow this with the custard and then generously sprinkle the crumble mix on top. Pop it back in the oven for approx 20-25 minutes or until the crumble turns golden brown.
11. Now serve warm with a giant scoop of ice cream and forget about all the pesky wrapping you still have to do.