Sluttishly Sweet: Cookie Cups

A few weeks ago, a reader posted a photo of an edible coffee cup on the Domestic Sluttery Facebook page. It's a brilliant all-in-one coffee break - you drink your coffee, then eat the cup. "I could make that!" I thought grandly, before realising I had no idea how to make a waterproof biscuit (other than by varnishing it, thus rendering it inedible. I like you guys. I don't want to poison you).

So instead, I made a cookie cup that you can fill with ice-cream, chocolate mousse, fresh fruit, or whatever you fancy for pudding. Eat the inside, then eat the container. Minimal washing-up, especially if you also use a chocolate spoon.

Cookie Cups (makes 12)
You will need:

• 225g butter, at room temperature
• 300g caster sugar
• 1 egg, beaten
• 1 tsp vanilla essence
• 350g plain flour

 Make it!

1. Cream together the butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Slowly add the egg and vanilla essence, and beat well.
2. Sift in the flour and beat it in until completely incorporated. You'll now have a soft ball of dough. Stick it in the fridge for at least half an hour to firm up. You can leave it overnight if you've been organised and made it in advance.
3. Preheat the oven to 180C/350F/gas mark 4. Get out a muffin tin, flip it upside down, and grease the outside of each muffin cavity.
4. Roll out the dough to 3-4mm thick. Using a large biscuit cutter, stamp out circles that are large enough to drape over the upside-down muffin tin. Drape one over each muffin cavity and press down.
5. Bake for 10-12 minutes until the cups are golden-brown. Leave them to firm up on the tin for 10 minutes, then transfer to a cooling rack. Grease the tin again and repeat with the remaining dough.

Once cool, you can fill them with your dessert and eat the whole lot. Flipping delicious.

Baking for Beginners: Boozy Carrot Cake

All this crazy weather has had me craving some comforting cake and it's been far too cold to leave the house which meant I had to raid the cupboards to see what kind of cake it was going to be. I had plenty of carrots in the fridge so I opted for my all time fave: a carrot cake.

We are massive carrot cake fans here at Sluttery Towers and have carrot cakes for every occasion but cold weather also calls for a bit of booze to warm the bones so I soaked the sultanas in some spiced rum for good measure. I used Paul Hollywood's recipe as a guide then swapped and added a few ingredients to tailor it to my taste, despite Mr Hollywood's explicit instructions to stick to his exact recipe and method my fiddlings turned out rather triumphant (phew).

Boozy Carrot Cake (serves 6 - 8)

You will need:

• 150g sultanas
• 50ml spiced rum (I used Kraken)
• 250g self raising flour
• 1 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1 tsp ground cinnamon
• pinch grated fresh nutmeg
• 1 tsp mixed spice
• 2 balls stem ginger, finely chopped
• 250g light brown muscovado sugar
• 150g walnut pieces (plus a few extra to decorate)
• 260g grated carrot
• 100g ground almonds
• 4 medium free range eggs, beaten
• 150ml rapeseed oil (I like to use a nutty one like Cotswold Gold)

For the Icing:

• 50g butter
• 400g cream cheese
• 200g icing sugar
• 2 capfuls orange blossom extract
• seeds from 1 vanilla pod

Make it!

1. Soak the sultanas in the rum for at least 4 hours (preferably overnight) then drain and drink the rum (well it's a shame to waste it).
2. Preheat the oven to 180C/350F/gas mark 4. Line a 22cm loose bottomed cake tin with grease proof paper and rub the inside with a bit of oil.
3. Sieve together the flour, baking powder and spices then add the ginger, sugar, nuts, carrot and ground almonds and mix then finally the eggs and oil making sure everything is really well mixed together.
4. Pour the mixture into the cake tin and bake for about 1hr 20mins or until a skewer comes out from the centre clean, if the top of the cake is starting to get a bit too brown just cover it with a bit of foil. Once cooked remove from the oven and cool completely.
5. To make the icing just beat all the ingredients together. Once the cake is completely cool slice it in half across the middle, cover  the base with one half of the icing then top with the other half of the cake and cover with the remaining icing, sprinkle with a few walnuts to decorate.

Sluttishly Sweet: Dutch Baby

Has there been a more terrifying name for a recipe than "Dutch Baby"? I suppose "Bloody Mary" doesn't sound too tasty and "toad in the hole" is less than appetising. Rest assured that no babies were harmed in the making of this dish. It also has nothing to do with the Netherlands. It's basically a sweet Yorkshire pudding flavoured with vanilla and cinnamon, light and warm and filling. It makes for a perfect weekend breakfast, especially when it's cold outside. It's going to be cold til August, you know. Aslan is never going to come and bring the summer.

So stock up on eggs, flour and milk and whatever you want to top it with - I went for icing sugar and a squeeze of lemon, but you could add maple syrup, fruit, jam, whatever takes your fancy.

Dutch Baby (serves 2)
You will need:

• 2 eggs 
• 120ml milk
• 75g plain flour 
• 1/2 tsp vanilla essence
• 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 30g unsalted butter

Make it!

1. Preheat the oven to 220C/425F/gas mark 7. Put an ovenproof frying pan in to heat up (or a round baking tray with fairly deep sides if you don't have one). 
2. Whisk the eggs until light and fluffy, pour in the milk, then add the flour, vanilla, cinnamon and salt. Beat to a smooth batter.
3. Take the hot pan out of the oven and add the butter, allowing it to melt and coat the inside. Pour in the batter and put it straight back in the oven.
4. Bake for 12-15 minutes until puffed and golden. Serve immediately for maximum effect.

Sluttishly Sweet: Boozy Rhubarb and Ginger Trifle

I love trifles, especially boozy ones, Christmas is not complete unless I've poured half a bottle of sweet sherry into a trifle, but trifles aren't just for Christmas they're FOR LIFE. This may be a bit of a controversial point but you wont find any jelly in my trifles, no siree you can keep your jelly for making Laura B's amazing Giant Boozy Jaffa Cake  or perhaps my gory Eyeball Jellies if you're feeling a bit macabre, basically anywhere except in a trifle near me.

Forced rhubarb from the Yorkshire Triangle is in the shops right now, its young and quite tender but the sourness will depend on your variety so vary how much sugar you use to your own taste. You don't have to add the booze and if you're not a fan of rum then Amaretto works really well, you could also substitute the ginger biscuits for amaretti if you have them but I adore ginger biscuits (our next Just Desserts theme is Fred & Ginger so if you do too then get involved). This dish works best when eaten straight away so you can make the rhubarb compote and whip the cream in advance then throw it together just before you dig in if you have people round for tea.

Boozy Rhubarb and Ginger Trifle (serves 6)
You will need:

• 350g fresh rhubarb, chopped into 2cm pieces
• 8 heaped tblsp vanilla sugar (or regular caster sugar and add 1 capful vanilla extract)
• 200ml water (roughly)
• 1 x 250 loaf Jamaican ginger cake
• 50ml spiced rum (I used Kraken)
• 150g ginger biscuits
• 1 x 500g pot fresh custard
• 1 x 300ml whipping cream
• 2 tblsp stem ginger syrup 

Make it!

1. Put your rhubarb, sugar and water in a saucepan and heat gently until the fruit has softened. You can add more sugar and water if you feel it needs it. Then leave to cool.
2. Slice your cake and arrange the pieces to cover the bottom of your trifle serving bowl, pour over the rum. Spoon over the cold rhubarb mixture.
3. Bash the biscuits so they are crumbled but still have chunks of biscuit and arrange half over the rhubarb.
4. Cover with a layer of cold custard.
5. Whip the cream whilst adding the ginger syrup, you want it reasonably firm so it can hold the topping, then carefully pile it on top of the custard layer then finally top with the remaining crushed biscuits.
6. Eat straight away.

Sluttishly Sweet: No Bake Chocolate Ginger Muesli Bites

I go through cereal phases, I always start off with the best of intentions to eat a bowl of cereal every day for breakfast then a week later I'm back to coffee and toast. Last week I set off on a long car journey and my sister gave me a couple of cereal bars to munch on, they were surprisingly good but also I thought really easy to make. Unlike our gorgeous cranberry cereal bars you don't need to bake these so they are ready from start to munching in about 10 minutes flat.

My favourite cereal at the moment is Dorset Cereals Muesli, massive whole flakes, grains, fruits and nuts and no powdery bits meant that I only needed a binding agent and well, dark chocolate immediately game to mind . It isn't exactly the healthiest snack (in fact, it could be a contender for the Fred & Ginger theme of our next Just Desserts club) but a small piece fills you up and you get the initial sugar kick followed by a more sustainable energy boost from all the nuts and grains. I went for a mixture of 2 chocolates but you could use whatever you fancy, and if you're not a fan of ginger then just substitute the stem ginger syrup for honey and leave out the ginger pieces.

Chocolate Ginger Muesli Bites 
You will need:

• 100g Green & Blacks Maya Gold chocolate
• 100g Daim Bar Milka chocolate
• 3 pieces stem ginger finely chopped
• 1 tblsp stem ginger syrup
• handful whole blanched almonds (or your favourite nut)
• 175g Dorset Cereals Muesli

Make it!

1. Break the chocolate into small pieces and melt, add the ginger pieces and syrup then stir in the cereal.
2. Using your hands or silicon moulds, shape the mixture into the size and shapes you want then let it set for 5 minutes.

Sluttishly Sweet: Hangover-tastic French Toast with Berry Compote

Up until my recent  trip to The Gallivant Hotel, French toast had never really been on my radar, that was until I discovered it to be possibly the best hangover cure ever! They served their beautifully fluffy dipped toast topped with a gorgeous berry compote that seemed to have magical soothing powers (which were definitely needed).

Eggs are an established grade "A" hangover cure and fruit is always a good start to your day, bung in some much needed restorative sugar and I went from a blurry "eww...can't face food" to "bring it on! Let's go for a walk on the beach!" in just 20 minutes. Now in the true nature of scientific research I decided to repeat this experiment back at home, and you know what? Not only did it do it's wondrous work once again but it has now become my new favourite lazy weekend breakfast.

 If you can head to The Gallivant to have theirs then I highly recommend it as you might also get to play with their dog "Camber" (another excellent hangover cure), but if you wake up at home feeling all sorry for yourself then this should get you well on the road to feeling much better. If you have a pan big enough to cook both slices at the same time that's great but it only takes a few minutes to cook so it's fine to cook them separately.

French toast with berry compote (serves 2 big portions)
You will need:

• 250g frozen berries (I used Blackforest mix)
• 100g caster sugar
• 2 tblsp water
• 2 large eggs (room temperature)
• 50ml milk
• 1/2 vanilla pod (just the seeds, pop the pod in a jar of caster sugar for lovely vanilla sugar)
• 2 thick slices of white bread (use a whole fresh loaf and slice yourself rather than pre-sliced)
• knob of butter for frying

Make it!

1. Put the berries, sugar and water in a saucepan and heat gently, stirring every now and again for about 5 minutes or until all the sugar has dissolved and the fruit softened. Taste and add a bit more sugar if you like it sweeter.
2. Beat together the eggs, milk and vanilla seeds in a big bowl that will allow the slices of bread to lie down flat. Put one slice of bread in the mixture and turn to make sure its coated well, leave for about 30 seconds to allow it to absorb all the vanilla eggy mixture.
3. Heat the butter in a non-stick frying pan over a medium heat then carefully place your egg soaked slice in. Leave to cook for about 2 minutes then turn over. Whilst it's cooking soak your other slice of bread ready to cook. The toast is ready when it goes from feeling soft to being more firm. Pop it on a plate and spoon over your warm berry compote.

If you're not a fan of fruit then give our sweet, sticky cinnamon french toast a go, and if you can then cuddle a big friendly dog then you're definitely winning (cats also work wonders).

Sluttishly Sweet: Cardamom and Vanilla Rice Pudding with Raspberry and Rose Compote

Homemade rice pudding is a thing of glory. Easy to make and involving nothing more taxing than stirring, this dessert will fill your home with delicious, comforting smells of cardamom and vanilla and make you want to snuggle someone (or the bowl, I snuggle the bowl).

There are of course some days when only a slow baked, sticky, nutmeg-y rice pud will do and I'm all for those when I have the patience, but this version has leapfrogged that for top spot of heavenly desserts for me. The warming cardamom and sweet, heady vanilla rice pudding is gently off set by the tart and floral raspberry and rose compote to ensure that I'm mega swooning all over my spoon.

Cardamom & Vanilla Rice Pudding with raspberry & Rose Compote (serves 4)
You will need:
For the rice pudding

• 800ml milk
• 400ml double cream
• 10 green cardamom pods
• 2 vanilla pods, split lengthways and seeds scraped onto a knife
• 200g pudding rice 
• 100g caster sugar

For the compote

• 150g frozen raspberries
• 50 ml Chambord raspberry liqueur
• 1 tsp rose water
• 1 tblsp caster sugar 
• 1 tbsp water

Make it!

1. Put the milk and cream into a saucepan on a low heat. Bash the cardamom pods and add them to the pan along with the vanilla seeds and pods, heat until blood temperature then remove from the heat and leave to infuse for 30 minutes.
2. Put your compote ingredients in a pan and heat gently, give the pan a swirl to help all the flavours mingle and the berries to break down. Once it's thickened taste and add a bit more sugar if you like but it wants to be quite tart. Leave to cool.
3. After 30 minutes use a tea strainer to fish out the green cardamom pod cases, I like to leave the vanilla in until the end. Add your rice and return to the heat and bring to the boil. Once boiling reduce heat to a gently simmer and cook for about 30-35 minutes, stirring often, until the rice is cooked. If it is a bit thick you can just add a bit more cream or milk.
4. Fish out the vanilla pods then serve immediately with a big dollop of compote on top.

Sluttishly Sweet: Rum And Raisin Chocolate Crispy Cakes

The last time I made chocolate rice crispy cakes Timmy Mallet was my hero and I was forever being told off by my Mum for roller booting in the house. I don't know why I haven't made them since as they're probably THE easiest cake in the world and massively chocolatey, two things very high up in my motivation for cake making.

I decided to give them a bit of a grown up incarnation by adding booze. I'm a huge fan of rum but you could use brandy, Cointreau, whisky, amaretto, whatever takes your fancy. The secrets of a good crispy cake are not to skimp on the chocolate and not to use cooking chocolate, (yuk). Also it's really important to add the raisins after the rice otherwise your chocolate will shock and go all horrid in texture.

You'll need: (makes about 12)

• 75g raisins
• 50 ml golden rum
• 300g Dairy Milk chocolate
• 40g unsalted butter
• small pinch sea salt flakes
• 150g rice crispies

Make it!

1. Soak the raisins overnight in the rum then drain (and drink the remaining rum as a cook's perk).
2. Melt your chocolate and stir in the butter and salt until everything is melted and mixed well.
3. Remove from the heat, stir in the rice crispies then the raisins and spoon into paper cases and leave to set and cool. I've decorated mine with a few white chocolate covered crispies that I already had in the cupboard but you could also melt a bit more chocolate and pour over the top of each cake.

Sluttishly Sweet: Baked Ricotta

Ricotta isn't just for quick pasta sauces - you can also use it to whip up a quick and easy pudding. Sweetened with honey and vanilla and layered over some berries, it will give you a delicious dessert in less than 30 minutes. You'll only spend one of those minutes making it, the rest waiting impatiently for the oven to do its thing. The finished pudding is like a light cheesecake, creamy and smooth and actually pretty healthy.

I suggest using frozen berries for this. A bag of those in the freezer will mean you can always knock together a simple dessert without having to run to the corner shop for an overpriced Mars bar.

Baked ricotta (serves 2)
You will need:

• 2 heaped tbsp berries
• 200g ricotta
• 1 tsp vanilla essence
• 2 tbsp honey

Make it!

1. Preheat your oven to 160C/320F/gas mark 3.
2. Pop a tablespoon of berries into each ramekin. Mix together the ricotta, vanilla and honey in a small bowl, then divide between the ramekins. Shake gently so the ricotta mix sinks to the bottom, then smooth the surface.
3. Place on a baking tray and cook for 20-30 minutes. It should be just set and lightly golden.
4. Leave to cool, then turn out onto a plate. Serve with a drizzle of honey and some more berries.

Sluttishly Sweet: Peanut Butter Ice Cream Truffle Balls

I've been known to demolish an entire jar of peanut butter in one sitting using nothing but a stick of celery as a spoon. I can't get enough of the crunchy good stuff and that's why it's mostly banned from my kitchen, until now.

This recipe actually started out being for regular truffles but I got impatient and tried one whilst it was still frozen and accidentally made the BEST ICE CREAM BALLS EVER. I love happy cooking accidents, it's actual scientific fact (probably) that most genius recipes are created when either really drunk (these usually involve random booze concoctions/sandwich combos/takeaway food + unlikely cupboard ingredient) or by not paying attention to a recipe and ending up with something far far better.

What's your awesome culinary accident?

Peanut Butter Ice Cream Truffle Balls (makes about 16 balls)
You'll need:

• 200g cream cheese
• 50g icing sugar
• 200g crunchy peanut butter
• 200g dark chocolate
• chopped nuts to sprinkle (optional)

Make it!

1. Put your cream cheese and icing sugar in a bowl and beat with an electric mixer until smooth then beat in your peanut butter (try not to do as I did and eat most of the mixture at this stage).
2. Spoon your mixture into a bowl and pop in the fridge for 20 minutes just to firm up enough to be able to roll into balls. Once firm-ish roll into balls and place them on a sheet of greaseproof paper.
3. Put the balls into the freezer for a a couple of hours.
4. Melt the chocolate then using 2 forks roll each ball in the melted chocolate and put on greaseproof paper to set. and sprinkle with the chopped nuts if you're using them. At this point you can just leave them at room temperature to become fabulous peanut butter truffles OR pop them back in the freezer to make the most brilliantly easy ice cream balls! Just take them out of the freezer about 10 minutes before serving so they just soften a tiny bit.

Sluttishly Sweet: Mille Crêpes No-bake Cake

Two days ago, I found out about the wonder that is Mille Crêpes Cake. Anyone who knew about this cake before now and neglected to mention it to me - friends, family, casual acquaintances, and the entirety of the French nation - is henceforth sacked from my life. Reason for dismissal? Withholding important cake information. Perverting the course of cakely justice, if you will.  

Martha Stewart, on the other hand, is welcome for tea whenever she likes. Because Martha bothered to tell me about it. It takes something like this to find out who your real friends are. 

This French no-bake cake is translated as 'a thousand crêpes', mais calme-toi because it seems that we are cooking in a tiny little happy maths-challenged bubble where 1,000 = 20. In simple terms, it's a stack of crêpes with crème pâtissière sandwiched between each layer. But it's so much more than that. It's... life affirming. 

As a token of my gratitude to Martha, I have completely bypassed her recipe, because on closer inspection I thought it sounded a bit rubbish (It looked lovely, though, Martha. Kiss kiss. Get those tax returns done now). Instead, I've gone for my usual crêpe recipe, and a standard crème pâtissière, to which I've added lavender and lemon. May I remind you all here that crème pâtissière is GLORIFIED CUSTARD, and therefore I declare myself officially in the running for the SPOON OF GLORY in this month's Just Desserts club. Let me at it.*

I won't lie to you: there's an element of faff to this recipe, mainly because you have to prepare the crêpe batter and crème pâtissière in advance, so that they can chill. After that though, it's a doddle. Yes, you have to make 20 crêpes, but there's a certain therapeutic element to that.

Flavour the cream as you wish - anything goes. I chose lemon and lavender because they're ace partners in crime, and I wanted to dye the cream lurid shades of lilac and yellow. This would be just as delicious with no added flavourings at all.

*Whaddya mean I'm not allowed to win the spoon?! Outrage. 

Mille Crêpes No-bake Cake (serves a hell of a lot of people)

You'll need:

For the crêpes

• 85g unsalted butter
• 720ml whole milk
• 6 large eggs
• 185g plain flour
• 85g caster sugar
• A pinch of salt
• Vegetable oil for frying 

For the crème pâtissière

• 480 ml whole milk
• 2 tsp vanilla extract (or one pod, sliced lengthways and seeds scraped out)
• 6 egg yolks
• 115g caster sugar
• 40g cornflour
• 50g unsalted butter
• A dusting of icing sugar

For the assembly

• 480ml double cream
• 1 tbsp caster sugar
• Flavourings of your choice - I used lemon extract and lavender extract
• Food colourings of your choice - I used yellow and lilac
• 125g icing sugar
• 1 tbsp warm water
• Things to garnish your cake - I used culinary lavender and the zest of one lemon

Make it!

The crêpe batter:

1. Heat the butter in a small saucepan until nut brown. Meanwhile, beat together the eggs, sugar, flour, and salt. 
2. Slowly pour in the milk and melted butter and continue beating until smooth.
3. Cover the mixture and refrigerate for at least five hours, preferably overnight.

The crème pâtissière:

1. Heat the milk in a saucepan until it just boils. Remove from the heat, and add the vanilla extract or vanilla seeds and pod. Set aside for five minutes to cool slightly. 
2. Either in a large saucepan or a mixer, whisk together the egg yolks, cornflour, and sugar. Pour the warm milk in gradually, whisking constantly.
3. If you're using a mixer, transfer the mixture to a saucepan. Bring to a boil over a high heat, whisking ALMIGHTILY until all of a sudden, the liquid becomes an almost gelatinous. STOP beating and turn off the heat.
4. Press the crème pâtissière through a sieve using a wooden spoon. This will catch the lumps and *gasp* any bits of cooked egg that may have mistakenly happened. BOAK.
5. Plunge the bowl into a larger bowl filled with cold water. Stir the crème pâtissière for about a minute, then add the butter and stir some more until it's incorporated into the mixture.
6. Sprinkle the surface of your amazing crème pâtissière with icing sugar to prevent it forming a custardy skin. Cover and stick in the fridge to chill for as long as the crêpe batter.

A few hours later...

1. Make the crêpes! Allow the batter to reach room temperature. Swab a little vegetable oil over the surface of a crêpe pan or smallish, flattish frying pan (I used a 10" crêpe pan from Ikea). Over a medium heat, pour in 3-4 tablespoons of batter and swirl around until the surface of the pan is covered. 
2. Cook until the bottom of the crêpe starts to turn golden brown. Flip and cook for a further 10-15 seconds on the other side. 
3. Place on a piece of parchment paper and REPEAT x 20.
4. Now whip the double cream and sugar and fold it into the crème pâtissière, along with any flavourings and colourings you want to use. 
5. Once the crêpes have cooled, place one on a plate and use an icing spatula to spread a thin layer of crème pâtissière all over the surface. Cover with another crêpe and repeat the process until you have finished your stack. Place your most handsome crêpe on top.
6. I made a glacé icing to finish my cake, simply mixing icing sugar with warm water and stirring until smooth. I also added a little yellow food colouring and lemon extract, because pourquoi pas?
7. Sprinkle any garnishes you want to use all over the cake, and chill for at least two hours.
8. Use a very sharp knife to slice and serve, to preserve your layers of cream within.
9. Holy crêpe! You've made a Mille Crêpes Cake!

Sluttishly Sweet: Rose & Gin Chocolates

Last night I realised that I am, in fact, Juliette Binoche. Isn't that thrilling? I am mere moments away from shacking up with Johnny Depp and changing the lives of an entire village through the medium of CHOCOLATE.

Yes, indeed - last night, I made chocolates for the first time. And I have one urgent question: why haven't I tried making chocolates before? They are so easy! So quick to make! SO DELICIOUS.

This adventure started, as so many adventures do, in Lakeland. I was eyeing up their chocolate moulds for ages, and then I thought 'Fuck it!' (pardon my French, but I am Juliette Binoche now) and bought one. Well, actually, I bought a Pretty Puddings mould - any silicone mould will work (and you can make these without a mould, too, so read on!).

After a bit of googling to find out the basics of chocolatiering, I began my experiment. I went for a dark chocolate rose and gin ganache for the filling, with a white chocolate shell, but you can substitute milk, dark, or white chocolate anywhere you like in this recipe. Just remember to buy the best you can afford, and look for a high percentage of cocoa, particularly in dark chocolate.

Rose & Gin Chocolates (makes 24)

You'll need:

• 300g white chocolate, chopped or broken into small pieces
• 100g dark chocolate, chopped or broken into small pieces
• 50g unsalted butter, roughly chopped and brought down to room temperature
• 3 tbsp gin
• 2 tbsp double cream
• 2 tsp rose extract 
• Glitz, glamour, and a gung-ho approach to decoration - I used gold lustre spray and gold edible glitter
• Popping candy 

Make it!

Mould Method:

1. Pop your silicone mould on a baking tray for stability.
2. Place 200g of the white chocolate into a microwaveable bowl or jug (I used this chocolate melting pot and did three separate batches - the pot makes precision pouring and squishing out every last drop of chocolate a cinch). Heat on medium power in 15-20 second bursts, removing and stirring before blasting again. Stop microwaving when the chocolate has just liquefied. Chocolate thermometer owners: we are looking for a temperature of 43°C/110°F here. The rest of us: we are slightly winging it. 
3. Start adding the remaining 100g of white chocolate, stirring until it melts. This is called 'seeding', and is the easiest way to temper chocolate (essential for shine and that pleasing SNAP! when you bite into the choc). Keep adding and stirring until all the chocolate has melted. Temperature fans: 27-28°C (80-82°F) is our goal. The rest of us: we're still slightly winging it. TRUST ME.
4. Now pour a small amount (about a heaped teaspoon's-worth) of melted chocolate into the bottom of each mould, and swirl around to coat the sides. Over a large bowl, turn the mould upside-down and allow the excess to drip out. Once all surfaces are well coated, scrape the excess from the top side of the mould using the scraping device of your choice (I used a cake decorator's icing scraper, but I have been known to use a sterilised Cineworld card for similar scraping jobs). Keep all the remaining white chocolate scrapings to reheat later.
5. Chill in the fridge for about 15 minutes, while you make the ganache. 
6. Melt the dark chocolate in the microwave in 15-second blasts. We don't need to withhold any chocolate for seeding here. Once it's melted, add the butter, gin, rose extract, and cream and whisk until smooth and slightly thickened. Let the mixture stand at room temperature for about ten minutes.
7. Remove your chocolate mould from the fridge, and spoon a little of the cooled ganache into each cavity. Using clean fingers, push the ganache down to fill any gaps. It should be just shy of the top edge of each hole.
8. Heat the remaining white chocolate. Pour over the ganache to form the bottoms of your chocolates. Use your scraper to clean up the top of the mould again. 
9. Chill for about half an hour, then decorate with lustre spray, edible glitter, WHATEVER. I also melted a drop of leftover white chocolate, and used it to attach popping candy to the top of each chocolate for extra fizz!   

Freestyle Method:

1. Make the ganache following step 6 above, and refrigerate in an airtight container for about an hour.
2. Use a melon baller to make around 24 evenly-sized, um, balls of ganache.  
3. Heat the white chocolate following steps 2 and 3 above, then dip each ganache ball into the chocolate until completely coated. Set aside on a parchment-lined baking tray, and chill for half an hour before decorating.

Tips!

• Really Lazy Sluts™ can bypass a chocolate shell completely and simply roll their ganache balls in cocoa powder. 
• If you prefer to use a bain marie to melt chocolate, don't let me stop you. Just make sure you use the seeding method to temper it. 
• If you're tempering milk or dark chocolate, the recommended temperatures will be different. Check out this article on the subject for more information!  
• Wear plastic or latex gloves when handling your finished chocolates, to prevent warm fingers leaving prints. I didn't have any, so I used two sandwich bags. I was a Brownie. Always prepared for any eventuality.  
• Don't offer any of these chocolates to anyone, because they'll take them all.

Sluttishly Sweet: Chilli Chocolate Orange Brigadeiros

A big bonus of my friends and family knowing how much I love all things edible is that any presents are pretty much guaranteed to be food related. Recently my big sister came back from a trip to Italy with a fabulous book all about chocolate - a scented book no less - chocolate smelling recipe pages! The book had a recipe for a Brazilian treat called Brigadeiros.

Brigadeiros are basically the Brazilian version of a chocolate truffle. I've added my own twist on the basic recipe by adding chilli flakes and orange flower extract but you can leave those out or play around by adding vanilla/chopped nuts/desiccated coconut or whatever takes your fancy, likewise they're traditionally rolled in chocolate vermicelli but instead I've used 2 types of cocoa.

You'll need:

• 400g can sweetened condensed milk
• 4 tablespoons cocoa powder
• pinch sea salt flakes
• 1 teaspoon dried chilli flakes
• 2 capfuls orange flower water
• 1 tablespoon unsalted butter

To decorate:

• grated pure cocoa bar ( I use Willies Carenero Superior)
• cocoa powder

Make it!

1. Put everything into a small heavy based saucepan and heat gently, stirring all the time over a low heat for about 15 minutes.
2. Pour into a bowl and put it in the fridge for about 30 minutes to harden slightly. Rub some butter on your hands to prevent the mixture sticking to you then take a teaspoon of mixture and roll it into a ball. Roll half the balls in grated cocoa and the other half in the powder, placing them on a sheet of greaseproof paper once covered. If the balls are not holding their shape then just pop them back in the fridge for a bit to harden then re-roll.

Sluttishly Sweet: Lime Posset

Posset is perhaps the greatest dessert in the world. It's so simple, you can knock this up in an advert break and it'll be set half an hour later. Lemon posset might be more traditional but this time I decided to go for a lime variation instead. It's much sharper and tastes brilliant with any kind of chocolate. You could use clementines for something a little lighter, or even go for a mix of citrus fruits.

Do use chocolate biscuits as a substitute for a spoon.

Lime Posset (serves four)
You'll need:

• 300ml double cream
• 110g sugar
• The zest and juice of two limes (unless you went to Tesco and your limes are unbelievably tiny, in which case you might need three. SORT IT OUT, TESCO)

Make it!

1. Heat the cream in a saucepan and add the sugar.
2. Stir like a mad thing until the sugar has dissolved. Keeping stirring until the mixture is heated through but not boiling.
3. Take off the heat, add the lime juice and zest. Stir and let cool for a little while.
4. Pour the mixture evenly into four ramekins, nice champagne glasses, teacups, whatever takes your fancy. Or just eat it a with a spoon while it's hot. That's PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE.
5. Pop in the fridge for around 30 minutes to an hour. Pretend it took hours to make. Serve with chocolate shortbread fingers for dipping.

Sluttishly Sweet: Chocolate "Salami" Roll

WARNING:  if you're on one of those January healths kicks I advise you to stop reading this immediately. This is THE most heavenly chocolate recipe that combines pretty much everything that most people are trying to avoid right how: booze, carbs, chocolate, butter, yeah it's all in there it all its glory (and it's bloody marvellous).

You can use whatever biscuits you have lying around really and same goes for the nuts, I just really love pistachios and had 2 half packets of biscuits in the cupboard. If you wanted you could also soak some sultanas overnight in Cointreau and throw a handful of them in too (just add an extra 50g chocolate in if you do though).

You'll need:

• 360g Fruit & Nut bar, broken into chunks
• 150g unsalted butter (room temp and cubed)
• 35ml whisky (or brandy/Cointreau)
• small pinch sea salt
• 125g Chocolate Honey Crunch biscuits (Asda)
• 100g McVities Chocolate Quirks
• 150g shelled pistachios
• Icing sugar to coat

Make it!

1. Combine the chocolate, butter and whisky in a heatproof bowl and melt gently. Stir until all the chocolate is completely melted and add a small pinch of sea salt and stir well.
2. In a separate bowl smash up your biscuits into small-ish pieces, you still want them reasonably chunky, not powdered, then add your whole pistachios and combine with the melted chocolate, stir well.
3. Lay out a big piece of cling film on the work surface and spoon the mixture down the centre. Fold the cling film over the roll then tuck it under the mixture to make a sealed sausage shape. Hold both ends of the cling film and roll the chocolate sausage so that it spins and tightens. The mixture will be compacted into a tight roll and you will have 2 long strings of twisted cling in each hands that you can tie together to hold it all together. It will look a bit like a haggis at this point! Pop it in the fridge overnight to set.
4. Once it has hardened simply unroll the cling film and roll the chocolate in the icing sugar so that it looks like a salami. Slice with a really sharp knife.

The Christmas Recipe Roundup

It's very nearly time for us to hang up our stockings and get Home Alone on the telly. Sluttery HQ is feeling well and truly festive. But just to help you out a little over the festive period, here's a collection of our Christmas recipes from this year. Combine this little lot with the Christmas roundup we did last year (that's where you'll find our recipes for braised red cabbage and snowstorm cupcakes) and you'll have enough Christmas food to feed a very festive army.

The savoury goodies.

Let's kick off with some Christmas canapes, which will be a perfect treat on Christmas eve. and get some kedgeree in you. This is the perfect Christmas morning treat (and it'll rid you of any Christmas eve hangover). if the hangover just won't shift (were you on the Amaretto mulled wine?) then just have a peruse through our top ten bacon recipes.

Hazel's Christmas cock (quiet at the back) looks blimmin' gorgeous. You can totally use the Clementine butter on turkey. As for accompaniments, we're hell bent on making you love sprouts so we've done them four different ways (with gin and bacon, mainly). If you're still not convinced by sprouts doused in gin then try our roasted beetroot instead. We've also got a mega seasonal chestnut veloute recipe for you to try (it's perfect for smothering your carbs in) and an eldersherry jelly recipe to go with your bird. Laura B is all about the potato latkes this year and the rest of us are going googly eyed for gratin. Oh, and don't forget the veggie stuffing and the Yorkshire Puddings (they're gluten free). And we've got three ways to do your pigs in blankets.

Once Christmas day is over, if can't face any more leftover turkey, then a glazed ham is the ideal Boxing Day indulgence. Laura V's pork and apple sauce sliders are perfect for when you're sick to the back teeth of festive food. Or smother our chicken liver parfait on crusty bread and get to work on our top ten pie recipes.

Once that's all too much, have a total (tasty) detox with this turkey noodle soup.

The sweet stuff.

Everyone has been going nuts for Alex E's Mulled Wine Chocolate Cake (understandable, it's bloody tasty). If you've got friends over, then you should all have a bash at making Gingerbread mug houses (check out some of the AMAZING creations on our Facebook page).

If you're after snacky sweet things, then you should definitely get on the Whisky brittle shortbread and Christmas cupcakes with brandy buttercream. Santa totally needs some Christmas sugar cookies left out for him on Christmas eve. For Christmas day we've got some excellent gluten free options in the way of Clootie dumpling and Ecclefechan tart. And for new year's we're going to be eating Pina Colada Trifle thank you very much. Let's also make mulled pears. If there's an opportunity for mulling in the next ten days, we're taking it with both hands and adding cloves before you can say a damn thing.

If you're a fudge fan, we've got you covered with beer fudge and mince pie fudge to choose from (don't forget the top ten fudge and caramel recipes). And if you're still not done with your festive baking, you'll find even more inspiration on in our Just Desserts cinnamon round up (oh go on, have the cheesecake and the chocolate ones as well, you GLUTTON).

The booze.

If you were organised, your Christmas drinks gifts will have been on the go a long time ago, but fear not! Some of them don't need much time at all. Rhubarb and custard vodka will be ready in time for a Christmas eve tipple and so will your bacon bourbon if you get a wriggle on. And that amaretto mulled wine will tip you right over the edge into tipsiness.

Want something more traditionally festive? Then it's Christmas pudding vodka all the way. Or just smother yourself in gingerbread syrup for the rest of the year. Whatever you're eating and drinking this Christmas, we hope you're doing it with fabulous people.

Sluttishly Sweet: Pina Colada Trifle

Trifle isn't just for Christmas - it's for life. I've actually never had a New Year's Eve without a trifle, and the very sight of one makes me remember what a WONDERFUL world we live in. In fact, I don't know why Louis Armstrong didn't forego all the stupid trees of green and babies crying and start sloshing sherry, custard and hundreds-and-thousands all over the place. That whole song is missing a trick.

So, you all know how a trifle goes (despite the many variations of its traditional form) and you probably know a few trifle-with-a-twists - tiramisu trifle, for instance, is epic. My all-time favourite, however, is pina colada trifle. Boozy, creamy and tropical: the perfect party pud. It also just happens to be almost shamefully simple - just make sure you allow yourself a few hours setting time.

If you have a similar New Year's Trifle tradition, you should definitely serve this with Chilean New Year cocktail Ponche a la Romana: a scoop of pineapple ice cream in a flute of sparkling wine. Why wouldn't you?

Pina Colada Trifle
Serves: One, ideally. Oh alright, about 8.

You will need:

• 1 packet trifle sponges or swiss roll
• 100ml Malibu (or cheaper supermarket alternative, hehe)
• 1 tin pineapple chunks
• 1 packet pineapple jelly*
• 3-4tbsp custard powder
• 3 tbsp granulated sugar
• 1 tin coconut milk (400ml)
• 160ml milk (full fat is best, although I used skimmed and it was fine)
• 200ml double cream
• 1 tsp vanilla essence

Make it!

• Break the trifle sponge into chunks and layer the bottle of a large glass serving bowl. Drizzle over about 70ml of the Malibu.
• Drain the pineapple chunks and layer over the sponge.
• Make up the jelly according to the instructions. When cooled, pour over the pineapple and sponge. Pop it in the fridge for a few hours/overnight to set.
• In a jug, mix together the sugar, custard powder, and about two splashes of milk until it forms a little paste.
• Give the coconut milk a good shake before you open the tin - it often has a huge solid lump at the top otherwise! Then mix the whole tin and the remainder of the milk together in a large jug and pour in the custard paste and the rest of the Malibu. Give it a good stir.
• Pop it in the microwave for two minutes at a time until it starts to thicken (it really varies, but my 850w microwave took 8-10 minutes), pausing every two minutes to stir the mixture.
• When thick enough (I'd say a teensy bit thicker than the Ambrosia stuff you get) carefully sit the jug in a washing-up bowl of cold water and stir the custard until it thickens and is nice and cool (the water just speeds up the cooling time). Spoon it over the jelly, and pop it back in the fridge for at least another couple of hours until the custard has set.
• Empty the cream into a large bowl, add the vanilla essence, and whip until firm. Spoon it over the custard, and decorate as you see fit. I've tried dried pineapple and dessicated coconut, but I prefer good old-fashioned sprinkles.

*Jelly tip! Not many supermarkets do pineapple jelly - I found mine in ASDA in the World Foods aisle. If you can't get your hands on it, mango or orange jelly is fine, or you can make your own using water, pineapple juice, sugar and gelatine leaves - but I wanted this to be cheaty to give you more time getting tipsy. If you're really feeling lazy (ahem, I've done this more than once), you can get Hartley's pineapple chunks set in pineapple jelly from the baking aisle of most supermarkets - just spoon it straight over the sponge.

Baking for Beginners: Rum-dum-dum-dum-dum Cake

It is a rather dangerous walk home from town for me. Not in the criminal kind of way but in the oooh-there’s-a-pretty-cooking-shop kind of way. I can spend hours browsing the shelves of utensils and fancy cake tins. Most of the time my budget constraints keep me safe but last week I treated myself to bundt tin for a bargain price of £10. A rather nifty purchase I think, because surely cake tastes better when there’s a hole in the middle? OK, that’s doughnuts. But pretty shaped cake is also rad. 

This rum cake is definitely for the grown-ups as it is laden with lots of gooey rum glaze and there is none of that cooking off the booze in this recipe. It is a rather easy to cake to make. You just take a rather regular chocolate cake and drizzle soak it in rum. And the rum keeps the cake moist and lasting for days. That’s if you don’t gobble it all up first!

Put a bit of booze into your cake this Christmas with this Rum-dum-dum-dum-dum Cake.

Rum Cake

You will need:

• Bundt or ring tin

For the cake

• 60g Butter
• 60g Dark Chocolate
• 120g Caster Sugar
• 1/2tsp Vanilla extract
• 3 Eggs, lightly beaten
• 225g Plain Flour
• 1tsp Baking Powder
• 6tbsp Milk
• 20g Icing Sugar (for dusting)
• Tacky Christmas Cake Decorations

For the glaze

• 100g Butter
• 60ml Water
• 150g Sugar
• 120ml Rum

Make it!

1. In a heatproof bowl over a pan of simmering water melt together the butter, chocolate and sugar. Set aside to cool slightly.
2. In a large bowl sift the flour and then whisk in the chocolate mixture, vanilla extract and the eggs. Add the milk to loosen up the mixture. 
3. Pour the cake mixture into the tin and bake in a preheated oven at 190C for 20 minutes, or until springy to touch.
4. Remove from the oven and allow to cool for 5 minutes in the tin before transferring to a wire cooling rack with a large baking sheet underneath.
5. Meanwhile prepare the rum glaze. In a small saucepan melt the butter before stirring in the water and sugar. Allow to boil for 5 minutes, stirring regularly. Remove from the heat and pour in the rum. Stir well.
6. The cake should be warm to touch. Take a clean skewer or toothpick and prick the cake all over. Then spoon the syrup over the whole cake. Some of the syrup will drip down onto the baking sheet. Pour this back into the syrup bowl and keep on with the process of spooning the glaze all over the cake. Do this a few times. 
7. Allow the cake and glaze to cool completely, at least 2 hours.
8. Dust with icing sugar and choose a suitably tacky Christmas decoration to adorn your boozy cake.
9. Serve with lashings of extra thick cream or Hazel's Salted Caramel Sauce. 

Sluttishly Sweet: Mince Pie Fudge

Ho ho HO MY GOD SO DELICIOUS

This little wonder came about after a friend announced on Twitter that she had bought some from Peyton & Byrne, and a bunch of us then proceeded to badger our culinarily-gifted friend Helen to try and make some for our Christmas karaoke party.

Helen's was amazing, and used a recipe by a fantastic Irish cook called Darina Allen - you can find Helen's original version here. For Domestic Sluttery, I used my mum's classic fudge recipe, which involves hardly any ingredients at all, and some mince pies that had been tipsily purchased from Charing Cross M&S while wheeling home post-sing song.

The result is a Christmassy, utterly delicious sugar explosion of spice with a perfect crumbly texture. My office has so far deemed it "sensational", "oh my God, OH MY GOD" and "I'm not going anywhere near that, or I'll be the size of a house by Christmas." Sugar and spice and all things nice indeed.

Mince pie fudge (makes about 30 squares)

You will need:

• Butter for greasing
• 225g salted butter
• 453g caster sugar
  
• One small tin condensed milk (c. 397g)
• Six mince pies

Make it!

Grease a large tin or roasting tray with butter, and set it to one side. Bash your mince pies into pieces.

Melt your butter and add the sugar. Stir well, then add your condensed milk. I have an electric hob so I set it to six (out of nine), so whatever works for you.

Stir your mixture for 10 minutes, when it should have just started to bubble, then continue to stir for another 10 minutes while it boils and turns a golden-brown. Keep stirring - if you feel anything catch, scrape up the bits from the bottom and stir them in. If you have forgotten to bash up your mince pies due to, oh I don't know, watching Masterchef on iPlayer, bash them up now, but don't stop stirring your fudge, or a disaster beyond your imagination will occur. Oh, and if you cook it for too long, then it turns into toffee. That happened to me last time.

Remove the fudge from the heat and add your mince pie pieces. Stir them in so they are well-covered in fudge and bash up any overly-large bits with a spoon. Pour into your greased tray and press the surface down with another spoon so it's even.

Leave to cool and then cut into pieces (this recipe makes loads, and as it's so incredibly sweet you can get away with cutting it into tiny little bits which means it will last FOREVER).

Then, as Helen says, "Sit back and accept adulation.”

Sluttishly Sweet & Savoury: Potato Latkes

So, in amongst all this Christmas madness, I am celebrating Hanukkah. For EIGHT DAYS. A nice diversion, non? Hanukkah is my most favourite of all the Jewish holidays. Did I mention it lasts for EIGHT DAYS? Oh. Right. It also combines a number of my favourite things: candles, gelt (sometimes real, sometimes chocolate - it's a win-win situation), fried foods, dreidels, presents, and potatoes. And, y'know, miracles and all that jazz.

Pfft. Miracle, schmiracle. Back to potatoes - specifically, latkes. These potato pancakes, crispy on the outside, soft and delicious on the inside, are the main event at every Jewish table this week. Apple sauce and sour cream are the most popular accompaniments, but the Jew-jury is out - and always will be - on whether you should chomp your latke with a dollop of both together, or choose just one. So are they sweet, or are they savoury? Well, they contain onion, so we could argue that they're savoury.

However! I've lovingly crafted two versions - one savoury, with dill sour cream and a dollop of caviar on top, and one resolutely sweet, despite the onion, with a sugar and cinnamon coating and served up with apricot and apple sauce, and maple syrup sour cream. Both use the same basic recipe - it's the additions and accompaniments that pledge taste bud allegiance here.

I've added dill and caviar to the usually plain sour cream topping as a nod to my family's Georgian roots (as in ex-USSR Georgia, not USA, thank you very much). And that's why I've added apricots to the apple sauce, too - Georgians are big on apricots (Mama B craved them when she was pregnant with me). But, hell - do what you want! Eat them plain, eat them sprinkled with salt, dip them in your blimmin' hot chocolate and SEE IF I CARE. If in doubt, pile your latkes high with melted cheese. Cheese trumps everything.

Potato Latkes (makes about 20)

You'll need:

For basic latkes

• 4 or 5 large floury potatoes (Americans swear by Russet potatoes; Maris Piper is probably the closest equivalent here), peeled and shredded - use a mandolin or food processor.
• 1 medium onion, peeled and shredded
• 2 large eggs
• 2 tbsp plain flour
• 1 tbsp lemon juice (bottled is fine)
• 1 tsp baking powder
• ½ tsp salt
• ½ tsp ground black pepper
• Vegetable oil for frying

For the savoury version

• 1 heaped tbsp fresh dill, finely chopped, plus extra to garnish
• 6 tbsp sour cream
• 1 tbsp lemon juice
• ½ tsp salt, plus extra to serve
• Caviar to serve (Sainsbury's sell a cheapo version, but you could crack open the family Beluga if you like. KIDDING.)

For the sweet version

• 5 medium-sized apples, any variety (I used Granny Smiths), peeled, cored, and roughly cut into chunks
• 8 tbsp chopped dried apricots
• 175ml water
• 100g soft brown sugar
• 6-10 cloves (COUNT THEM. You have to fish them out again at the end)
• 1 tsp lemon juice
• 1 cinnamon stick
• 1 star anise
• 4 tbsp sour cream
• 2 tbsp maple syrup or golden syrup
• Ground cinnamon to serve
• Icing sugar to serve

Make it!

Basic Latkes

1. As soon as you've shredded your potatoes, use kitchen roll or a clean, dry tea towel to absorb any excess moisture. Work fast, as the potatoes are changing colour as we speak. Not in a good, Global Hypercolour way. Now bung them in a large mixing bowl.
2. Add the onion, lemon juice, salt and pepper, baking powder and eggs and stir it all up. Meanwhile, heat about half a centimetre of oil in a heavy-bottomed frying pan (I use a cast-iron pan - get one mega-cheap in Home Bargains. YES!)
3. Once the oil is hot enough but not too hot (Whaddya mean that's too vague? Oh, all right - chuck a matchstick of shredded potato in there. If it sizzles, it's the right temperature), add a heaped tablespoon of the potato mixture into the pan. Press down with a spatula so that it's sort of flattened. Fry on one side for 3-5 minutes, then flip and do the same on the other side. Once done, remove from the pan and drain on a wad of kitchen roll. Treat the first latke as The Test Latke. Eat it (let it cool down first, you wally). Delicious, yes? Later, once you've made them all, you'll realise that The Test Latke was the most handsome of all your latkes, and you could've done with it in the photographs and not in your tummy. Oh, wait. You're not me.
4. Now proceed with full-scale latke-making. Feel free to put lots in the pan at once, as long as they comfortably fit. As you go along, crispy bits of potato will start swimming around in the oil. I leave these in for extra flavour, but when they start to burn, skim the oil for them. 
5. Now decide if you want sweet latkes, savoury latkes, or both.

Dill sour cream and caviar for savoury latkes

1. Mix the sour cream and chopped dill together, adding the lemon juice and salt and stirring well.
2. Serve atop your freshly-made latkes (sprinkle them with a little salt first), with a spoonful of caviar to taste. As you can see from the photos, my taste is lots - I shovelled it on like there's no tomorrow. Maybe there isn't. Garnish with a poncy frond of dill.

Apricot & apple sauce and maple syrup sour cream for sweet latkes

1. Put all the ingredients bar the lemon juice into a large saucepan. Bring to the boil, then simmer - covered - for 8-10 minutes, until the fruit is soft.
2. Stir vigorously, mushing up the apples as you go. Add the lemon juice, and bring the pan off the heat.
3. Poke about and remove the cloves, star anise, and cinnamon stick. This is why you counted the cloves earlier.
4. Mix together the syrup and sour cream.
5. Sprinkle the latkes with cinnamon and icing sugar. Serve warm, with the sauce and sour cream.

And do you want to know what I was doing in between making these latkes?

Putting up my Christmas tree. I know, I know. Let's just call it a Hanukkah bush, shall we? Look, I've got Star of David tinsel AND EVERYTHING. 

Chag Urim Sameach, everyone!