Sluttishly Sweet: Chocolate Peppermint Cranberry Bark

If you are having a last minute present panic, or need something a bit swanky to show off with at a Christmas party - look no further. THE BARK is here. Caleigh's already shared her gorgeous simple bark recipe with us. This monumentally epic version is the invention of my mum's friend Judy - I got the recipe off her after losing all my teeth in a glorious explosion of chocolate flavours last Christmas, and she has very kindly let me share with you. It takes peppermint bark up to eleven.

It's completely moreish and looks absolutely beautiful, whether wrapped in cellophane and ribbons, or served at a party alongside mince pie fudge. May the joy of early onset diabetes be yours this festive season!

Three Layer Chocolate Peppermint Cranberry Bark
Makes about 64 pieces

You'll need:

• 800g white chocolate
• 400g dark chocolate
• 1.5 tsp peppermint essence
• 150ml double cream
• 10 small peppermint candy canes (smashed into small pieces)
• 1 pack dried cranberries (cut in half if they're quite large)

Make it!

Re candy canes: I left some artistic chunks, but better just get them down to a powder of shards - it looks prettier, and you don't run the risk of eating a chunk of hardened toothpaste.

1. Lightly oil some baking parchment and line a baking tray - I sellotaped the back so it didn't shift. 
2. Melt half the white chocolate in a bowl set over a saucepan of barely simmering water. Stir occasionally until the chocolate is melted and smooth.
3. Spread your mixture out on the parchment in a rectangle shape. Sprinkle with half the smashed candy canes and half the cranberries. 
4. Cool in the fridge for about 15 minutes until firm.
5. Meanwhile, combine the dark chocolate, cream, and peppermint essence in a small saucepan and warm over a medium-low heat, stirring frequently, until the mixture is just melted and smooth. 
6. Remove from heat and let it cool for about five minutes until it's barely lukewarm.
7. Take the baking sheet out of the fridge, and pour the dark chocolate mixture over the white chocolate rectangle and spread to cover.
8. Chill until very cold and firm, about 25 minutes.
9. Melt  the remaining white chocolate as before, then pour it over the dark chocolate and spread to cover. Don't panic if the chocolates melt into each other a bit, it will all look really pretty. Sprinkle with the remaining crushed candy canes and cranberries before chilling just until firm, about 20 minutes. 
10. Break up into bits and INHALE wrap up nicely as presents.

Picture from Judy of her beautiful arrangements. Look how neat they are - mine were more like crags of something that sank the Titanic.

Sluttishly Sweet: Snowballs!

Like all of Team Sluttery, I've decided that baking all my Christmas gifts is too much of a palaver (plus it's MID DECEMBER, who allowed this to happen? I'm NOT READY). So these sweet snowballs join Laura B's stained glass window biscuits and Caleigh's peppermint bark in the 'incredibly easy to make' camp.

These snowballs are basically chocolate tiffin, but rolled into spheres and covered in coconut. For the cake crumbs, either use some leftover cake (hahahahaha, 'leftover cake', as if) or buy a small version of your favourite cake. I've said 'cake' too many times and now I really want some.

Snowballs!
You will need:

• 400g white chocolate
• 4 tbsp golden syrup
• 150g cake crumbs
• 50g dried cranberries
• 50g Maltesers, crushed
• 50g  mini marshmallows
• 150g desiccated coconut

Make it!

1. Break up the white chocolate into a glass bowl and add the golden syrup. Gently heat it over a saucepan of boiling water (don't let the bottom of the bowl touch the water) or stick it in a microwave for a few minutes. Stir occasionally until it's melted.
2. Meanwhile, put your cake crumbs, cranberries, Maltesers and mini marshmallows into a bowl and stir. Pour the melted chocolate and golden syrup over the top and mix well. You want the mix to be sticky but to hold its shape. Add more golden syrup or cake if it's too dry/not staying spherical.
3. Scatter the desiccated coconut over a plate. Get a tablespoonful of the snowball mix, shape into a round, and roll in the coconut. Repeat with the rest of the mixture. Chill in the fridge for 30 minutes, then eat and enjoy, or put a few in a cellophane bag to give as a gift.

Sluttishly Sweet: Banana Daiquiri Split

"Always take a banana to a party, Rose. Bananas are good."
The Doctor

The humble banana has had a great many bit-parts in Doctor Who over the years, mainly playing a banana, a role it excels in. The Doctor is - and always has been - a fan of all things banana, as this mercifully short video shows us:

Yup, that just happened. Life enhancing, yes?

He even claims to have invented the banana daiquiri, in 18th century France. "Well," he says, "among other things, I think I just invented the banana daiquiri a couple of centuries early. Do you know they'd never seen a banana before?"

The banana daiquiri split, then, is a fine celebration of 50 years of Doctor Who. The Tenth Doctor once ate two banana splits in a row. If he'd been faced with these delectable creations, drenched in a rum-rich daiquiri sauce, I bet he could've managed three. At least. And in honour of Eleven's favourite headgear, I have garnished my split with a fondant fez. SPOILER ALERT: we'll be seeing more of the fez on Saturday. Look away now if you're avoiding all tantalising hints...

Banana Daiquiri Split (makes 4)
You will need:

• 6 tbsp white rum
• 8 tsp lime juice
• 100g icing sugar
• 4 ripe bananas
• 12-16 scoops of your preferred ice cream flavours - chocolate, strawberry and vanilla are trad, but I omitted the strawberry
• 3-4 tbsp toffee or caramel sauce - cheap and cheerful is fine!
• Squirty cream
• Decorations - the more the merrier! An inventory of mine for reference:
  
  * Soft gold balls
  * Soft white balls
  * Soft silver balls
  * Chopped mixed nuts
  * Glacé cherries
  * Fudge chunks
  * White chocolate stars
  * Edible glitter
  * Lime peel shavings
  * Hilary Devey
  * Tiny gold stars
  * Crystallised rose petals in honour of Rose
  * Miniature fondant fez - fezzes are cool!
  
  I did mean to also add a wafer fan - a Doctor Who fan! - so you definitely should. 

For the fez (optional, makes 4)

• 40g red fondant icing
• A liquorice Catherine Wheel, unravelled  

Make it! 

Hilary Devey just out of shot

1. First, make your fezzes! Take a 10g piece of fondant for each fez, roll it into a fez shape (I found a sort of cone with top and bottom sliced off with a knife worked well).
2. Now take your unravelled Catherine Wheel and use scissors or a knife to fray an inch-long section of it, so that it looks like the tassel atop a fez. Leave an unfrayed part at one end, and stick this into the top of your fondant fez so that the tassel hangs down one side. Repeat until all your fezzes are tasselled and all your Christmases are white, and set aside for just now.
3. Make the daiquiri sauce by combining the rum, lime juice and icing sugar in a bowl, mixing well to remove any lumps. Taste, and add more rum if you want. Because why the hell not?! We're celebrating! 
4. BANANA SPLIT, ASSEMBLE! It's time for the main event! Peel your bananas and slice them in half lengthwise. In the newly-formed gap, put three or four scoops of ice cream. Use one half of the banana peel as a base for the split, if you don't have a banana split dish. That'll help to stop the pieces of banana collapsing under the weight of the ice cream.
5. Spoon generous amounts of both sauces - daiquiri and toffee - over the ice cream, add a squirt of whipped cream, perhaps more sauce if you fancy it, and then all your decorations, IN ABUNDANCE. Make sure Hilary doesn't cover the whole thing. Or eat it. 
6. Finish each split with a couple of cherries and a FEZ. Make it jaunty! 
7. Devour, in the manner of David Tennant. I'll be disappointed if you're not wearing a fez while you eat it. I had mine for breakfast. OF COURSE I had my fez on. I sleep in it. 

Sluttishly Sweet: Toffee Apple Pudding

If you love toffee apples but (a) fear they'll break your teeth and (b) don't want the trouble of going to a dubious funfair to procure them, then this easy toffee apple pudding is for you. I've fiddled with an old Good Food magazine recipe for this recipe, mainly adding spices because who doesn't want a warming kick of cinnamon when it's cold outside?

Warning: it will look a right mess before you pop it in the oven - pouring boiling liquid over it will do that to a dish - but it will come out with a floaty light cake on top with beautiful thick sauce underneath, perfect comfort food to curl up with. Minimum effort for maximum returns - what are you waiting for?*

* yes, yes - to get home, I know you can't whip this up from the office.

Toffee Apple Pudding
You will need:

• 2-3 apples, peeled and sliced to approx. 1cm thick (any eating apples are fine; I went for Granny Smith)
• 125g self-raising flour
• 2 tsp baking powder
• 90g caster sugar
• 1 tsp ground cinnamon
• 75g butter, melted and left to cool
• 1 egg, beaten
• 175ml milk
• 1 tsp vanilla extract

For the topping:

• 100g brown sugar
• 30ml maple syrup (or golden syrup, whichever you prefer)
• 225ml boiling water
• 30g chopped pecans (optional, cos they cost a fortune)

Make it!

1. Preheat the oven to 180C/350F/gas mark 4. Find a medium-sized glass or ceramic baking dish and thickly layer the apples along the bottom of it.
2. Sift the flour, baking powder, caster sugar and cinnamon into a large mixing bowl. Make a well in the middle and pour in the butter, egg, milk and vanilla extract, then mix together to form a batter. 
3. Leave it to thicken slightly for 20 minutes, then pour it evenly over the apples, smoothing down the top.
4. Now for the fun/ridiculous part. Put the brown sugar and maple syrup into a bowl and top with the boiling water. Stir quickly so the sugar dissolves, then tip the whole lot over the apple batter before sprinkling over the pecans. "Is it...meant to look like that?", your housemate will ask, nervously. "YES, IT IS," you must reply with conviction as you pop it in the oven.
5. Bake for 40 minutes until it's golden-brown and well-risen. Flip it over as you spoon it out, so the cake it on the bottom, and eat it hot with custard or ice-cream. You can eat it cold but it reheats well (the sauce is better when it's warm and sticky too).

Sluttishly Sweet: Chocomole

Anyone who's a regular reader of DS knows that we're absolute suckers for a good ol' fashioned pun. So when I heard the word 'chocomole' uttered on the breeze, I knew it had to happen. Yes, it is exactly what you think: chocolate and avocado PUDDING.

We're no strangers to the unlikely couple that is avo and choc, and anyone who has tried pairing them in one of our dairy or wheat free recipes will know that it's nowhere near as scary as it sounds.

This is a light and unusual pudding (great if you're having a Mexican night and have overindulged on the quesadillas) or could be used as a filling in a chocolate and chilli cake for an epic Day of the Dead Mexican Confection.

Chocomole (Avocado and Chocolate Pudding: serves 4)
You will need:

• 2 large, ripe avocados
• zest and juice of 1 lime
• 250ml whipping or double cream
• 2 tbsp icing sugar
• 1/2 vanilla pod, seeds scraped out or 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
• 100g dark chilli chocolate or good-quality dark chocolate, extra to serve

Make it!

1. Scoop the flesh from the avocados and mash into a smooth paste, along with the lime zest and half a lime's worth of juice. If it still has a few lumps, you can push it through a sieve. 
2. In a separate bowl, combine the cream with the icing sugar and vanilla, and whip together until stiff.
3. Gently stir the avocado into the cream until well combined. 
4. Chop the chocolate into small chunks, then stir into the cream mixture.
5. Spoon into ramekins or glasses and serve immediately or chill in the fridge until ready to eat. Sprinkle with grated dark chocolate and lime zest to finish, and maybe a chocolate tuile or two for dunking... 

Sluttishly Sweet: Carrot Halwa

Picture the scene: it's 1982, and my paternal grandmother has flown over to show her new Irish Catholic daughter-in-law how to make Indian food for her son. Onion bhajis? There's no chance my mum is deep frying anything. Chapattis? Sure - wait, cooked over a naked flame? No thanks. Carrot halwa? Against all odds, my mum can still whip up a batch of this over 30 years later. And this is despite her disliking (a) carrots, (b) condensed milk, (c) sweets and (d) cooking.

Hazel made pumpkin halwa last year but this version is even simpler. These quantities make a small batch because they are the sweetest things in the world. but double or even treble them if you're making them for a party. You could have a delicious Indian afternoon tea if you made these with our gluten-free pakora and oven-baked onion bhajis.

Carrot halwa
You will need:

• 225g carrots, peeled and grated (approx. 2 medium carrots or 1 large)
• 280g condensed milk
• 1/2 tsp ground cardamom seeds
• 12 flaked almonds*

Make it!

1. Bring the carrots and condensed milk to the boil in a heavy bottomed saucepan. Leave it to simmer, stirring occasionally, until the mixture has thickened and the carrots have a slightly glossy look. You can cook over a high or low heat depending on how much time you have to stand and stir it.**
2. Stir in the ground cardamom seeds and half the almonds. Transfer to a serving dish and garnish with the remaining almonds.
3. Leave to cool, then cut into cubes and serve.

* my grandmother has since passed away, so I can't ask her about the oddly precise measurements. 12 flaked almonds? Would 13 ruin things?

** I love this advice. No time in the kitchen? Simply turn the temperatures up! It's fine!

Photo from Jing A Ling's Flickr photostream.

Sluttishly Sweet: Pickled Greengages

Greengages are my favourite of all the fruits. Well, perhaps they tie with figs. The only problem with having the greengage as your favourite fruit - and not having access to a greengage tree - is that there is only a 13-minute window in which to buy them before they disappear again for another year. Woe.

I've stocked up for 2013, but even though I adore them fresh, there are only so many greengages I can eat in one sitting. Nope - I want to preserve the gage glory through autumn, winter and beyond. So I pickled them!

Pickled plums of any kind are delicious, and greengages respond particularly well to being drowned in fragrant vinegar and hidden away in a cupboard for months. Eat them with cheese, cold meats, whatever - they are glorious.

As with any pickling recipe, add or remove ingredients depending on your personal tastes. Don't meddle too much with the vinegar-sugar ratio (although do add a wee bit more sugar if your gages are on the tart side), but feel free to lose the chillies, bump up the cinnamon - go WILD. Yeah. Pickling is WILD.

Pickled Greengages (makes one 500ml Kilner jar's worth)
You will need:

• 350g greengages, washed and stalks removed
• 5 cloves
• 200ml white vinegar
• 100g granulated sugar
• 2 star anise
• 5-6 cardamom pods, lightly bashed
• 1 tbsp mixed peppercorns
• 2-3 whole dried chillies
• A cinnamon stick, broken in half
• A 2cm chunk of fresh ginger, sliced
• A swirl of unwaxed lemon rind
• A pinch of salt

Make it!

1. Sterilise your jar. If you've been blessed by the dishwasher gods, that's nice for you. Otherwise, 10-15 minutes submerged in a large pan of boiling water on the stove (bring the water to a boil with the jar in situ, otherwise SMASH) should do it. I put mine in a low oven to keep warm - and to dry without me touching it - before I fill with deliciousness.
2. Prick the greengages all over with a toothpick. Stud five of them with a clove, then pack all the gages into your dry, warm jar.
3. Meanwhile, boil up the remaining ingredients, stirring well with a very clean spoon to help dissolve the sugar. Keep at a rolling boil for about 5 minutes, then pour the hot liquid and all the spicy, flavoursome additions over the greengages. Ensure everything is submerged.
4. Seal, and turn the jar on its head for about half an hour to fully seal it, and to allow the bits to mingle. 
5. Your greengages are best enjoyed after at least a week of absorbing the gorgeous flavours. HOWEVER - a couple of days might be enough if you really can't resist. They should be stored in a cool, dark place, and have a shelf life of about 6 months. 

Sluttishly Sweet: Chocolate Mocha Pain Perdu Pudding

Ok, ok, I'll admit it, 'pain perdu' is just a fancy name for French toast, or in this case, bread and butter pudding. But how much more fun does it sound? Also, in true French style, it's often a lot richer than its British counterpart, which makes it what? Hands up please? That's right: the perfect lazy-ass brunch treat or dinner party pudding.

We've already got you covered for  hangover French toast, but this recipe is great if you've been inundated by sweet-toothed ravenous hoards. Quick, easy and a crowd-pleaser. If you hate coffee, you could replace it hot chocolate, or even, (swoon) a few tablespoons of booze.

Chocolate Mocha Pain Perdu Pudding (Serves quite a few)
You will need:

• 3 large free-range eggs
• 50g caster sugar (I used vanilla sugar)
• 75ml milk
• 50ml cream
• 1 brioche loaf
• 2 tbsp ground coffee (or 1 tbsp instant coffee)
• 25g dark chocolate
• 1 tbsp coffee beans (optional)

Make it!

1. Pre-heat your oven to 180C/350F/Gas mark 4. Lightly grease an ovenproof baking dish. 
2. Whisk together the eggs, caster sugar, milk and cream until well combined. 
3. Brew a small amount of strong coffee in a cafetiere with 200ml boiling water, or with instant coffee. 
4. Pour into the egg mixture and whisk together. 
5. Slice the brioche loaf and place the slices on a baking tray for 2 minutes to toast lightly in the oven. 
6. Remove from the oven and arrange in the dish, leaving some of the crusts sticking up and grating the dark chocolate in between the overlapping slices as you go. 
7. Pour over the egg mixture and grate another layer of dark chocolate over the top. 
8. If you're really into your coffee (I am) grind up a few coffee beans in a grinder, or with a pestle and mortar and scatter them over the top. 
9. Bake in the oven for 25-30 minutes until the top is golden. 
10. Serve warm with ice cream, cream and fresh coffee. Decadent slut points times a hundred!

Sluttishly Sweet: Salted Caramel Cronuts

For those of you who have been asleep for the past month or so, cronuts are a hybrid croissant-doughnut, invented in New York by chef Dominique Ansel. Traditionally (as traditional as you can get with something that's only existed since May), they're filled with crème pâtissière and topped with a rose-scented glaze, although Dominique has now branched out into different flavours.

People continue to queue around the block to pay $5 a cronut at Ansel's NY bakery. The craze has reached London in the form of Rinkoff Bakery's CroDough (the name cronut is trademarked; let's hope Dom isn't a Secret Slut and reading this), and even Greggs has embraced the hype with a Greggsnut (really).

Keen to try one, I decided to make my own. First of all, I had to overcome my fear of deep-fat frying, because ain't such a thing as a healthy, baked cronut. Then, I had to work out whether Ansel's specially-laminated layers of croissant dough were necessary for the perfect texture. Reading that making croissants from scratch takes three days of buggering about made my mind up for me - shop-bought croissant dough it was. This recipe from the Telegraph reassured me that dough-cheating was more than okay. I also decided that making crème pâtissière was a step too far, and opted instead for delicious, moreish salted caramel. Oh my, was that a good idea.

My verdict? Cronuts are damn tasty. These ones are quite little - and thank goodness, because any larger and they'd be driving you to the cardiac ward themselves. I've read some reports that cronut-copycats can be a bit stodgy and heavy - not so mine. They're crispy, flaky, and fluffy all at once. Colour me cronutted.

Salted Caramel Cronuts (makes 6)
You will need:

• A little plain flour for dusting
• 250g can of ready-to-bake croissant dough (Jus-Rol do one - find it in the butter or cheese aisle)
• Copious amounts of vegetable oil
• 3-4 tbsp caster sugar
• 4 tbsp salted caramel sauce (buy it, or make some of Hazel's)
• 4 tbsp icing sugar, plus a few drops of food colouring if you like!
• Hundreds and thousands 

Make it!

1. Dust a clean surface with a smattering of flour. Hardly any, really. A token gesture to the gods of flour. 
2. Pop open your can of croissant dough and LAUGH. It's so much fun and it goes WHOOSH! Stop laughing and unroll the dough onto the work surface. 
3. You will see before you a series of perforated lines zig-zagging across your length of dough. Ignore these. Fold the rectangle into thirds, as if folding an A4 piece of paper ready to go into a long, narrow envelope. (People on the internet are calling these 'business letters'. I'm not.) 
4. Now roll along the length of the rectangle until it's roughly about three times as long as it once was. Fold as before, into thirds, and then roll for a final time - more gently now - until you have a rectangle measuring around 20 x 14cm.
5. Using a 6cm circular cookie cutter (or - ta-da - the top of a bog-standard wine glass), cut six circles. With a smaller cutter (or - ta-da - the little tiny lid from a bottle of food colouring), cut out the middles of each circle.
6. Transfer the rings to a tray or plate, cover with clingfilm and pop in the freezer for half an hour. This helps them puff up in the hot oil, apparently. 
7. When the rings have been chilling for about 25 minutes, decant the caster sugar into a bowl. In a large saucepan or proper chip pan with a wire basket, pour enough vegetable oil to deep-fry the doughnuts. Heat it to 190°C/375°F. I used a thermometer to extinguish my burning anxiety re: burning the house down. I recommend you do the same, unless you're an experienced deep-fat fryer.
8. Once the oil has reached the right temperature, fry the cronut rings, one or two at a time, for about three minutes each side. They sink at first and then pop up to the surface, so just watch for them turning golden on the underside before flipping them over. 
9. Remove from the oil, coat in sugar, and leave to cool on some kitchen roll. Repeat until all the cronuts are cooked and sugared.
10. Once they're cool, use a chopstick to poke four equidistant holes in the top of each cronut. Using a piping bag and a narrow nozzle, pipe salted caramel into each hole. 
11. Mix up a little icing sugar as per the packet instructions. You can colour it if you like! Using a teaspoon, pour in a circular motion around the hole of each cronut, allowing the excess to dribble down the sides. 
12. Sprinkle with hundreds and thousands. This is no time for classiness. We're about to devour deep-fried croissants shaped like doughnuts and oozing with salted caramel, for goodness sake. Pile on those hundreds and thousands. More. A few more. That's it. 

Have you tried a cronut yet? Will you be giving them a go at home? 

Sluttishly Sweet: Coconut & Lime Treacle Tart

Ok, so maybe this isn't technically a treacle tart, since it uses golden syrup rather than proper, ol' fashioned tar-like treacle, but who's going to tell, huh? Not me. Are you? Good. You can have a slice.

This recipe is for all those people who demanded to know exactly what my grandma's coconut treacle tart entailed, after I mentioned it in my recipe for Cardamom & Coconut cake. Well, I finally succeeded in wrestling this information out of her, which wasn't easy. She was on her eleventh triple gin and tonic before she conceded.

Luckily, these tarts are so simple that even after one (or ten) too many, you'll have no trouble rustling them up, which makes them perfect for unexpected guests / visitors / sugar-holics.

Coconut & Lime Treacle Tarts (Makes 4 small or one larger tart)

You will need:

• 250g shortcrust pastry (I may have used the pre-made variety, but the same amount of homemade is probably more virtuous).
• 75g desiccated coconut
• 100g golden syrup
• Zest of 1 lime
• I told you it was easy

Make it!

1. Preheat the oven to 180C/350F/Gas Mark 4. Lightly grease four 9cm tartlet tins or a 20cm tart tin.
2. Roll out the pastry to half a centimetre thickness, and line your tin(s), leaving a small overhang of pastry and pressing gently into the edges. 
3. Prick the base all over with a fork then top with baking parchment and baking beans (or rice, or lentils, whatever) and bake blind for 5-7 minutes (small tarts) or 5-10 (big tart, ooh err).
4. Once the pastry is looking golden, remove from the oven and get rid of the baking beans and parchment. 
5. Spoon and sprinkle the coconut over the pastry base (don't be stingy with it). The smaller tarts will take about 2 tablespoons each. Make sure it is evenly distributed.
6. Top by drizzling golden syrup all the way around the edge of the tart, and in the middle, and then, maybe, in any gaps just in case. 
7. Sprinkle the tart(s) wth lime zest and return to the oven for 5-10 minutes until golden, bubbling and gooey.
8. Whilst they're still warm, top with a another drizzle of golden syrup for good measure. 

Sluttishly Sweet: 5 minute ice cream in a bag!

You don't need a fancy ice cream machine to make amazing ice cream, nor do you need to keep going to the freezer and stirring your ice cream every couple of hours on order to make it (I've never had the patience for that). All you need is a bit of arm muscle power (or willing children make EXCELLENT substitutes) a couple of Ziploc bags, some ice and plenty of salt.

One of the many ace things about this method is not only do you have fresh homemade ice cream in just a few minutes but that you can make one batch of plain ice cream mix and put out loads of different flavours to customise each one.  I've used double cream for a really rich ice cream but you can use half milk and cream or all milk, it will still work, and if you want to cut down on calories a bit more then swap the caster sugar for a tablespoon of agave syrup and you can even make some of Caleigh's amazing ice cream cones to put it in!

The science bit of this is what makes it so quick and easy, the salt lowers the freezing point of the ice and so brings the temperature down to about -5C in the ice bag thus freezing your cream, the more you shake the better your ice cream will be.

5 Minute ice cream in a bag (serves 1-2)
You will need:

For the base:

• 150ml double cream 
• 1 heaped tablespoon caster sugar 

Also:

• Ice 
• 8 tablespoons of table salt.
• 1 large Ziploc bag
• 1 small Ziploc bag

Vanilla, raspberry and meringue flavour: 

• 1 teaspoon vanilla paste (or 1 capful extract/seeds from 1/2 vanilla pod) 
• 1 handful frozen raspberries
•  2 shop bought mini meringues

Make it!

1. Half fill the large Ziploc bag with ice then add the salt and give a good shake to mix then set to one side.
2. Make your base mix simply by combining the cream and sugar in a jug and mixing well.
3. Now you can add the rest vanilla paste and raspberries and mix well.
4. Pour your ice cream mix into the small Ziplock bag then put it inside the large one filled with ice and cover with ice, seal and then shake rapidly for 5 minutes. You'll notice quite quickly that the cream gets thick and hard, the more you shake and squeeze the better the ice cream ill be. 
5. After five minutes your ice cream is ready to eat so you can top it with the crushed meringues and maybe a few extra raspberries if you like and dive in with a spoon.

You can get really experimental with your flavours, try:

Chocolate, ginger and strawberry flavour:

• 2 tablespoons shop bought Belgian chocolate sauce
• 1 ball stem ginger, chopped
• 1 tablespoon stem ginger syrup
• 1 handful frozen strawberries

Make as above using the base mix or how about maple syrup, walnut and white chocolate chip? The possibilities are endless!

Sluttishly Sweet: Beer Ice Cream

Last week, gin and tonic popcorn. This week, beer ice cream. Whatever next?

I've been doing a bit of kitchen wizardry, and can now confidently announce on my golden easel that my new favourite ice cream flavour has been born. BEER ice cream. Like summer, frozen (Wait - that's winter. Oh well).

I was inspired by this recipe from the LA Times, which seemed like one of the easiest and most fool-proof around. I've tweaked the quantities a little, and added in an extra step that will go some way to minimise scrambled-eggness (a completely normal by-product of custardy-ice-cream-making, but obviously we don't want to the whole lot to cook, because BOAK).

There's a fair bit of whisking involved, but you can do that while you polish off the rest of the beer. I implore you to use a craft beer of some sort - a can of Tennent's isn't going to cut it here. I used Orkney Brewery's Dark Island ale, which has coffee-chocolate flavours, with hints of figs and toffee. I think a raspberry beer, like Bacchus, would also work tremendously well. Steer clear of anything too, too hoppy - hops turn very bitter when heated.

The finished ice cream is soft-scoop - which is good, because you won't have to wait for it to soften before diving in and devouring it in one go.

Beer Ice Cream (makes enough to fill a pint glass!)
You will need:

• 4 large egg yolks
• 110g granulated sugar
• 250ml double cream
• 250ml good-quality beer
• Lots of ice - enough to fill a large bowl or the bottom of the kitchen sink

Make it!

1. Whisk together the egg yolks and sugar in a medium bowl, until they form a sunshine-yellow paste.
2. Over a low heat, and in a heavy-bottomed saucepan, bring the cream and beer to a simmer. While the liquid is warm - but not too hot - spoon a little into the egg and sugar mixture to temper the eggs. This will reduce (but not eliminate) the chances of the egg cooking when you perform the next step. Blend together thoroughly with a spatula.
3. Once the cream mixture has reached a simmer, pour it slowly into to the sugary egg mix, whisking constantly. If you want to, you can use a stand mixer or hand blender here, but keep it brief and low! 
4. Pour back into the pan, and heat until it's thickened, whisking frequently - it should coat the back of a spoon once it's thick enough. It will be more sauce-like than custard-like, so don't break your arm whisking in an attempt to make it thicker - you'll need that arm later.
5. As the ice cream base is thickening, fill a large bowl - or the kitchen sink - with ice cubes, and place a medium-sized plastic bowl over the ice. Pour the mixture through a sieve into this bowl, then whisk as it cools. This takes about ten minutes, but you don't need to whisk continually, thank goodness.
6. If you're using an ice cream maker, I'll leave it to you to now follow its particular instructions. If you don't have an ice cream maker, pour the mixture into a large tupperware box. Place in the freezer for 45 minutes, then stir vigorously with a spatula, breaking up any ice crystals that have formed. Repeat every 30 minutes until the ice cream has fully frozen.
7. Ta-da! Two essential flavours of summer, wrapped up in one velvety-smooth tub of ice cream. Don't share it. You'll only regret it later. 

Sluttishly Sweet: Cranachan

Cranachan is a classic Scottish pudding, using the finest local ingredients. As well as being delicious, it's a cinch to make - we're talking five minutes, tops - and it's a helluva fun to say, too!

My recipe combines the ingredients before serving (and you can chill the finished puddings before you need them - just be aware that the oatmeal will soggify a bit), but you can also be super-Sluttish and simply bring the individual ingredients to the table and let everyone mix their own pud. Tell them it's the traditional way (it is) and they'll all lap it up. HA HA HA, no work for you!

Use Scottish heather honey and Scottish raspberries if you want to be 100% authentic, but seriously (whisper it): who's going to know if you don't?

RELEASE THE CRANACHAN.*

Cranachan (serves 4)
You will need:

• 100g rolled oats
• 600ml double cream
• 3 tbsp runny honey
• 100ml whisky
• 400g fresh raspberries

Make it!

1. Toast the oats in a dry frying pan over a low heat, until golden. Keep a close eye on them so they don't burn. Set aside to cool.
2. Whisk the cream until it holds soft peaks. Fold in the honey and whisky. 
3. Mush up the raspberries with the back of a fork (keep a handful intact for later). Add the raspberries and the oats (keep about a tablespoon aside to garnish) to the cream and barely combine.
4. Spoon into glasses or bowls and top with a drizzle of honey, the rest of the oatmeal, and some raspberries. 

* Sorry.

Sluttishly Sweet: Café Bombón Panna Cotta

I can still remember my first café bombón. I've always been partial to condensed milk - preferably straight from the can - but combining it with hot, strong espresso? A stroke of genius. My mind popped.

It's a special treat, for sure - not one to glug down for every hot drink of the day, especially when you have a coffee addiction as uncontrollable as mine - but such a wonderful end to a meal.

The drink itself is almost like a pudding, which led me to think - what if I made it into an actual pudding? What if two of Europe's most majestic foodie forces united in a culinary entente cordiale? What if I combined Spanish café bombón with Italian panna cotta to make CAFÉ BOMBÓN PANNA COTTA?

No more what ifs, people. It's happening. This is real. It's in my fridge, it's in my face, it's in my tummy. THIS IS THE FUTURE.

Café Bombón Panna Cotta (makes 4-6)
You will need:

• 397g sweetened condensed milk (1 can)
• 300ml double cream
• ½ tsp vanilla extract
• 1 sachet powdered gelatine (about 10g), plus 120ml hot water to make it
• 550ml strong coffee
• 3 tsps granulated sugar
• 1 more sachet gelatine (we use the coffee to make it, so no need for the hot water here)
• Coffee beans to garnish (optional)

Make it! 

1. Mix together the condensed milk, cream and vanilla extract in a large jug. Make up the gelatine by sprinkling the contents of the sachet over the hot water, and mixing thoroughly. 
2. Leave the gelatine to cool for a couple of minutes, then whisk it into the creamy stuff.
3. Pour into the receptacles of your choice - something glass works best, so that the two layers can be admired. Leave in the fridge to set for at least three hours.
4. When the bottom half has set, make the strong coffee and stir in the sugar. Sprinkle the remaining gelatine over the top and stir as before.
5. Leave to cool right down to room temperature. Once it has, top up the glasses with coffee and pop back in the fridge to set for a further three hours, or overnight. Garnish each panna cotta with a coffee bean if so desired.

Tip

• Make a boozy café bombón panna cotta by substituting some of the coffee for Tia Maria or Kahlua. 

Sluttishly Sweet: White Russian Blini

Plenty of visual clues in this photo, in case you're
still not sure where blini come from. Also, behold
the Russian Doll Blini Police solemnly keeping vigil.

Blini are as ubiquitously Russian as vodka, Lenin, and a flair for gymnastics. These little buckwheat pancakes are a popular breakfast treat, but can be enjoyed at any time of day or night, and - like my other favourite pancakey friend, the potato latke - they work well with a variety of toppings.

When I embarked upon this batch of blini, I wasn't sure whether they'd end up sweet or savoury. Then I had a flash of what can only be described as genius, and decided to top them with White Russian cream.

The White Russian isn't, as we all know, a Russian cocktail - it's called that simply because it's got vodka in it. But its flavours do the trick nicely here, so who cares? Not I, dear reader. Not I.

I always use Saint Delia's basic blini recipe - along with the majority of the internet and chefdom, it seems - because hers really can't be beaten. Obviously, I have made my own delicious additions, but I'm sure she won't mind. There's a fair bit of waiting around, as blini need yeast to do their thing - but once you've made your own, you'll never want to eat a shop-bought one again.

White Russian Blini (makes 20-30)
You will need:
For the blini

• 40g buckwheat flour
• 125g plain flour
• ¾ tsp salt
• 5g easy-blend yeast
• 150ml crème fraîche
• 175ml full-fat milk
• 2 medium eggs, separated
• A large knob (stop it) of butter for frying
• 1 tbsp soft brown sugar
• 1 tsp finely-ground coffee or wholebean instant coffee (Millicano, for example)

For the White Russian cream

• 45ml extra-thick cream
• 1 tbsp vodka
• 1 tbsp Tia Maria or Kahlua
• Chocolate-covered coffee beans to garnish (optional)

Make it!

1. Sift both flours and the salt into your mixer bowl and add the yeast.
2. In a saucepan, warm the crème fraîche and milk. Don't allow it to come anywhere near boiling - a very gentle warm-through is what we need. Perhaps the temperature of the milk you'd offer a poor, starving kitten who's been trapped in your shed all night and is in need of comfort. Yeah.
3. Now add in the egg yolks, give everything a quick whisk by hand, and then add this mixture to the flour and yeast. 
4. Whisk until you've got a thickish batter, then pop a clean tea towel or cloth over the top of the bowl. Leave it in a warm place for about an hour, for the yeast to work.
5. After an hour, the batter will be looking spongy. Whisk the egg whites until they form stiff peaks when the whisk is removed, and fold them into the batter. Re-cover with your tea towel, and return the bowl to its warm hideaway for a further hour.
6. When your blini are ready to cook, heat some butter in a heavy frying pan, and then pour into a jug to use throughout the cooking process - leave a little in the pan for the first batch.
7. Keep the pan over a medium heat and add about a tablespoon of batter for each blin (that's the singular of blini, fact fans!). Cook for about 30 seconds on each side. Re-butter your pan with the faintest swipe of melted butter between each batch.
8. When all the blini are ready, mix together the brown sugar and coffee, and sprinkle a little atop each blin.
9. Now it's time to make our White Russian cream! Simply add the booze to the cream and whip it up until it's thick and dollopy. Spoon some onto each blin, adding a chocolate-covered coffee bean if you so wish.

Sluttishly Sweet: Mojito Marshmallows

We've been in even more of a cocktail mood than usual here at Sluttery HQ recently. From my Gatsby-tastic Gin Rickey recipe, to these glorious Crispin Finn prints found by Frances, hand us a cocktail and we'll be your friend for life ten minutes. We'll flirt for gin, you know.

I have been toying with the idea of making marshmallows for a while, despite my fear of boiling syrup, but I wanted to flavour them and I couldn't decide what to go for. Then, one night, I awoke from my slumber with MOJITO MARSHMALLOWS flashing through my brain. Alliteration and rum? YES. We've already got mojito shoes, truffles, soap, cake and, um, cocktails covered, so this seemed the perfect addition to our ever-growing mojito stable.

I used Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall's marshmallow recipe from The River Cottage Family Cookbook as a jumping off point, and then totally flew by the seat of my pants during the mojito part. Happily, the seat of my pants guided me safely to mojito marshmallow heaven. 

There are a lot of steps, but this is a surprisingly simple recipe to master. At one point, a lot happens at the same time, but I managed to heat up a pizza, make a cup of coffee, and open the mail while I was making these, and I still have both my hands and EVERYTHING. Triumph.  

Mojito Marshmallows (makes about 42, depending on how you slice 'em!)
You will need:

• 1 tbsp cornflour
• 1 tbsp icing sugar
• A little vegetable oil
• 30g fresh mint, finely chopped 
• 60ml white rum
• The juice and zest of 2 large limes
• 2 large eggs, whites only
• 25g powdered gelatine
• 500g granulated sugar
• Coloured sugar, edible silver dust, or crystallised mint leaves to garnish (optional)

Make it!

1. Before you do anything, get some vital equipment to hand. You'll need a stand mixer, a measuring jug, three small bowls, a medium-sized saucepan, a CANDY THERMOMETER (this is important, and therefore worthy of CAPS LOCK), some kitchen roll, a 20cm square cake tin, and some other things like spoons and chopping boards and knives which I'll assume you already know the whereabouts of. Also put the kettle on - you'll need hot water a few times along the way!
2. Sift the cornflour and icing sugar into one of the aforementioned small bowls. Grease the cake tin using a teeny splash of vegetable oil, wiping it all over the base and sides. Then dust with a little of the cornflour and icing sugar mixture, until all surfaces are lightly covered. You'll need the rest of the floury stuff further down the recipe.
3. Make the mojito flavouring by mixing the mint, rum, and lime juice and zest in a bowl. Set aside for later.
4. Deposit your egg whites into the mixer bowl, but don't turn it on yet. 
5. In a bowl, measure 125ml not-quite-boiling water. Sprinkle the gelatine powder on top and then stir with a wooden spoon until it's dissolved. Now ignore it.
6. Pour the granulated sugar into a saucepan and add 250ml hot water. Over a low heat, stir until the sugar has dissolved. At this point, start beating the egg whites at a medium speed until they're stiff. 
7. Fill a jug with some kettle-warm water and dunk your thermometer in it to acclimatise it (fussy, sensitive things, these thermometers). Now pop it carefully into your pan. Increase the heat slightly and  keep the syrup at a rolling boil until the thermometer reads 122°C/251°F (this will be a surprisingly slow process, until the very end when suddenly the temperature will shoot up - so keep a close eye on it!). Turn off the heat as soon as this temperature has been reached. Carefully - using an oven-gloved hand - remove the thermometer and place it in the jug of water to recover.
8. Now add the gelatine mixture to the syrup. It will fizzle, but stir continually with a wooden spoon and it'll soon calm down. You might find some of the gelatine has gone, well, gelatinous - just scrape it off into the syrup and give everything a mighty stir. It'll liquefy immediately.
9. Start beating the eggs again on a low speed. Slowly add in the syrup, being careful not to pour directly on to the beaters, which may cause a painfully boiling hot splash, probably into your eye.  
10. Continue mixing until the mixture is thick and glossy. It should form the briefest of ribbons when the beaters are lifted out of the bowl.
11. Now pour in the mojito flavouring, and whizz for a few seconds longer to combine.
12. Pour the marshmallow mixture into your prepared cake tin, and leave in a cool place (NOT the fridge)  to set overnight.
13. Once the marshmallow has set firm (it'll still have some wobble), grease up a butter knife with a little oil (I saturated a wodge of kitchen roll with oil, as you need to grease your knife between each slice later on). Use the rest of the cornflour and icing sugar mixture to completely cover a chopping board, then gently ease the mallow out of its tin.
14. Sprinkle the surfaces of the mallow with some of the floury stuff, then using a sharp knife - greased and dusted - cut it into strips. As you work, sprinkle any unfloured edges that become visible. Remember to wipe your knife on the oily kitchen roll and redust between slices, to ensure a smooth cut. 
15. Repeat in the other direction so that you end up with cubes of marshmallow. Again, dust each exposed side as you progress.
16. You'll end up with around 42 delicious morsels of mallow. I sprinkled mine with bright green sugar for extra crunch and, more importantly, FUN - you can find coloured sugar in the supermarket baking aisle. I also threw some edible silver dust on there for good measure, and because my longing for the arrival of Behind the Candelabra has left me even more sparkly than ever. For a more, ahem, upmarket aesthetic, try crystallised mint leaves - I use Uncle Roy's.
17. Serve after dinner, or just scoff them all WHENEVER (you won't be able to really, unless a sugar coma is your goal in life). Store in a cool place, in an airtight container.

Tip!

• Nothing can stop you now. Make gin and tonic marshmallows! Make bourbon and maple (mmm, maple syrup) marshmallows - throw in some bacon, if you like! Make Margarita marshmallows! Yeah, you get it. Let's all make boozy marshmallows. Hick.

Top Ten Custard Recipes

All of life's crap is improved when it's smothered in custard. Even a trip to Ikea. Even your self-assessment. Almost certainly that bloke in the office who isn't very nice to you.* But custard isn't just for winter. Oh no. It's very much an all year round thing. Here are our top ten custard recipes.

Ticking ALL of our boxes is this rhubarb and ginger trifle. It's in season, it fits in very nicely with our most recent Just Desserts theme and well, just look at it. It's not the only trifle recipe we've gone for recently. You could also choose a boozy chocolate fudge trifle, or a boozy pina colada trifle. Look, booze and custard work a treat together, don't try and fight it.

No really, don't try and fight it. Make rhubarb and custard vodka instead.

Or you could make whisky chocolate custard instead. I really had no idea when I started compiling these recipes that they would make us look like we have a booze/custard problem. Here's some normal, brilliant homemade vanilla custard that will quickly dispel that myth (right?) If you happen to have some leftover (wait, what?) then you can turn it into boozy chocolate mousse, or give these chocolate sex pots a try.

Crème brûlée! You can't write about custard and not have crème brûlée. If left to my own devices, I'd totally crack your sugary top. Then you wouldn't invite my over for tea again.

You should probably give this crepe cake a try as well (creme pattisiere is basically posh custard). If you're still not done with the whole rhubarb and custard thing, then clafoutis is the answer.  Or...

Roobarb and Custard!

Time for some ice cream now. Yep, most ice cream starts off as custard first (and waiting for it to cool is a total bore). We've got two brilliant recipes - a chocolate ice cream or a gorgeous gluten free pumpkin ice cream.

And of course, we couldn't do a custard round up without a custard tart. This one is even gluten free. If you want even more custard inspiration, check out our recent Fighting For Custardy Just Desserts round up. Puns and recipes aplenty.

*Don't try these at home, kids. We're fibbing.

Take a look at the rest of the Domestic Sluttery top ten recipe posts.

Sluttishly Sweet: Lemon and Ginger Cheesecake

Lemon cheesecake is my absolute favourite. Probably because of the M&S cheesecake slices that I can't stop buying. I've never tried to make it myself so I took this month's Just Desserts theme - Fred & Ginger - as an opportunity to get creative in my new kitchen.

Thanks to the addition of the ginger, this cheesecake has a spicy, buttery base which works well with the creamy filling. It fed around 20 at my flatwarming party this weekend. In fact, most of it was gone an hour after people started to arrive. I only got to have a tiny slice, the greedy buggers.

Lemon and ginger cheesecake (serves a flat full of drunken party guests, apparently)
You'll need:

• 50g butter
• 220g biscuits. I used a mixture of gluten free digestives and chocolate chip cookies - yep, this recipe can go straight into the 'easy to make gluten free' folder.
• 2tsp ginger
• 1 pack of ricotta cheese
• 150ml double cream
• 110g caster sugar
• juice and zest of two lemons

Make it!

1. Melt the butter on the hob and set aside.
2. Pop the biscuits in a plastic bag and bash the crap out of them. This is the most fun part of making cheesecake.
3. Mix the biscuits, ginger and melted butter together. Squish into the bottom of a 9 inch springform tin and leave in the fridge for half an hour.
4. Mix together the cheese, cream, sugar and lemon until smooth.
5. Pour onto the chilled biscuit base and leave in the fridge for a few hours. You can probably get away with chilling for four hours, but covered overnight is definitely best.
6. Feed to a flat full of hungry guests. Accept all compliments and bask in all the cheesecake-y glory.

Lemon cheesecake image from Raelene G's photostream on Flickr. I tried to get a photo of mine, but did I mention the drunk party guests? Let's blame them.

Sluttishly Sweet: Hot Cross Butter Pudding

Am I allowed to admit that I don't like bread and butter pudding that much? It's always too... bready. But I do love hot cross buns, and this hot cross butter pudding was something of a revelation. It's loosely based on this Krispy Kreme recipe (if I have a dozen Krispy Kremes, I'm not going to cook them), but the spices and flavours in the buns mean that you don't have to add any more. Except booze. Always add booze.

You could make your own hot cross buns (which means you can make this gluten free). I bought mine from the supermarket. The cat stole one. He really should have waited until I was finished cooking, this tastes amazing. The condensed milk goes gooey and sticky and soaks right into the buns keeping the spiced pudding perfectly moist.

Hot Cross Butter Pudding (serves 6, even though it looks like it'll serve 4)
You'll need:

• 6 hot cross buns
• 1 can of condensed milk
• 2 eggs, beaten
• 25g mixed peel
• 2 tbsp Cointreau (rum would also work)

Make it!

• Preheat the oven to 180C/350F/Gas mark 4
• Break the hot cross buns into quarters, try not to tear the tops.
• Stir the pieces in a bowl with the rest of the ingredients until they're covered in the mixture.
• Pop aside to soak for half an hour of so (you might not need this long, I was catching up on Broadchurch).
• Pour mixture into a rectangular oven dish, getting as many of the bun tops facing upwards as you can. 
• Cook in the oven for about 40 minutes, or until the bun tops are golden brown.

Sluttishly Sweet: Dippy Egg and Soldiers

It wouldn't be Easter in Domestic Sluttery HQ without a ludicrous themed recipe from us. Last year, I brought you Creme Egg Surprise Cupcakes (look at that photo! Taken in the sunshine! Sob). This year, it's dippy egg and soldiers - made of chocolate mousse, mango coulis, and shortbread biscuits. As well as being seriously easy, it's also deeply comforting to eat and better suited to this endless winter. The mango cuts through the mousse to add a fresh, sharp note.

The mousse is adapted from Nigella's recipe and uses marshmallows rather than egg whites. It sets faster, there's no raw egg in the mix, and no need to spend ages separating and whipping eggs. I've used shortbread biscuits as the 'toast' for dipping - feel free to make your own, but I bought a packet and feel no shame.

Dippy Egg and Soldiers (serves 2)
You will need:

For the white chocolate mousse

• 75g mini marshmallows
• 125g white chocolate, chopped into small pieces
• 30ml boiling water
• 150ml double cream
• 1/2 tsp vanilla essence

For the mango coulis

• 1 mango, cubed

For the biscuits

• Packet of shortbread biscuits, opened

Make it!

1. Start with the white chocolate mousse. Put the marshmallows, chocolate and boiling water into a heavy saucepan and melt over a low heat, stirring occasionally. Once it's melted, take it off the heat.
2. Whip the double cream with the vanilla until it thickens. Fold it into the cooling chocolate mix until smooth. Divide the mousse between two tumblers and pop into the fridge to set.
3. To make the coulis, put the mango pieces in a saucepan with a splash of water and gently heat until they're very soft. Squish them through a sieve to make a smooth coulis.
4. Assemble your pudding by making a small hollow in the top of the mousse (insert teaspoon, remove mousse, insert spoon into mouth) and drizzling on the mango coulis. 
5. Serve with some biscuits on the side for dipping.