The boy and his poison: The Shanghai Fizz

A belated Kung Hei Fat Choy to everyone. Although this post is a day late I thought it would be remiss to pass up an excellent excuse to investigate Asian inspired cocktail recipes. So I decided to spend Chinese New Year researching and experimenting.

The Lychee Martini was an obvious contender but there was no way to improve upon our recipe (believe me I made three of them to check). Next came a brave Oriental twist on a bloody mary (brave but ill-advised) then finally there was a murky patch in the evening where I experimented with lemon grass and fish sauce… flavours I won't be revisiting any time soon. With the constraint of my modest spirit collection I'd almost given up on finding a decent drink to usher in the year of the Dragon when  I chanced upon the Shanghai Fizz. With its lychee, lime and ginger flavours it makes a great accompaniment to dim sum.

You'll need:

• 50ml of Gin 
• 50 ml of Pineapple Juice
• 50ml of the syrup from a lychee can (or Lychee Liqueur if you have it)  
• The juice of half a lime 
• Ginger beer 
• A lychee to garnish 

Make it:

• Shake the gin, lime, pineapple juice and lychee syrup over ice for 10-15 seconds
• Strain into a highball glass or a tumbler 
• Top up with the ginger beer and add a little ice if you intend to take your time drinking it
• Garnish with a lychee

Sluttishly Vegetarian: Veggie Haggis

Wee brother o’ the puddin’ king
Whase praises Rabbie Burns did sing,
Relief an’ joy tae us ye bring,
That eat nae meat!
For us ye are the verra thing,
A rich rare treat!

- from Fergus McInnes's Address to a Vegetarian Haggis

When Siany suggested I might like to create a veggie haggis for Burns Night, I presumed I'd have to cancel all my weekend plans and spend my Saturday gipping over traditional haggis recipes ("take one sheep's stomach or ox secum") and pondering what I could substitute for "the heart and lungs of one lamb". That's one thing you can't replace with tofu or Quorn.

Haggis is the centrepiece of a traditional Burns Night supper, so it needs to be pretty special. Haggis recipes are essentially "take some meat, mix it with more meat, and wrap it in meat. ENJOY!". Veggie versions take an entirely different approach - obviously - and combine oats, pulses, vegetables and spices to create a filling and hearty meal.

This version is simple and fairly mild, so goes well with a red wine sauce and the obligatory neeps and tatties. Remember to propose a Scotch whisky toast to your haggis, and get a bagpiper to pipe it to your table (or put on a Proclaimers album, whichever you fancy).

Vegetarian haggis (serves 4)

You will need:

• 2 tbsp oil
• 150g oatmeal 
• 50g chopped mixed nuts
• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 1 medium carrot, grated
• 50g mushrooms, finely chopped
• 200g kidney beans (half a tin), mashed
• 50g red lentils
• 200ml vegetable stock
• 1 tbsp soy sauce
• 1/2 a lemon
• 1 tsp dried thyme
• 1 tsp cayenne pepper
• 1 tsp ground nutmeg

Make it!

1. Preheat the oven to 190C/375F/Gas Mark 5. Lightly oil a loaf tin.
2. In a large pan (preferably non-stick), heat the oil over a low heat and lightly toast the oatmeal and nuts until they smell delicious.
3. Increase the heat to medium and add the onion and carrot. Add more oil if necessary, and get ready to stir it a lot to stop the oats from sticking. Fry until the onions are soft, then add the mushrooms and cook for another 2 minutes.
4. Add the kidney beans, lentils, stock, soy sauce, a squeeze of lemon juice and all the herbs and spices. Simmer gently for 15 to 20 minutes, adding extra water if necessary.
5. Taste and season, then tip the mixture into your loaf tin and bake for 30 minutes.

Design Porn: Sarah Ray's I'm a Londoner

I think even non-Londoners will like this Londoner print. Cockney rhyming slang is always funny. You can see the cogs whirring when someone on Eastenders uses it. It's fun, even if I can't remember much of it and tend to make up my own rhymes instead.

Sarah Ray's shop on All Things Original is full of great designs (some excellent Valentine's cards if you're looking for something non-sappy). She was part of the very wonderful Girls Who Draw magic zine that I told you about a little while ago. Each of these Londoner prints is signed and numbered and is £20.

Go on, go feast your mince pies.

Sluttishly Savoury: Siu mai dumplings

I've gone a bit crazy for dim sum this week. More so than usual. It's rare for a two week period goes by without some sort of dumpling fix. They're probably the healthiest thing I can order from my local Chinese (at least that's what I tell myself anyway), but they're also really easy to make.

The hardest thing about making your own dumplings is sourcing the wonton wrappers. Surprisingly, none of the large supermarkets seem to stock them (please tell me if you spot them). I'm lucky that I have a Chinese supermarket over the road and can't rave about it enough. If you do have one nearby and you haven't been, go immediately. You'll wonder how you ever lived without it.

Sui mai dumplings are one of the first things I order in a restaurant. That's how a lot of my recipes end up on Domestic Sluttery. I basically try and recreate dishes that I had once in a restaurant. The pork and prawn mixture is light, with just a little tang from the ginger and freshness from the spring onion. Dip them in chilli oil for a little bit of spice.

You'll need:

• 200g pork mince
• 200g prawns
• handful of spring onions, chopped
• ginger, grated
• 1tbsp rice wine
• 1tsp sesame oil
• Wonton wrappers (still slightly chilled so they're easier to peel from one another)
• Milk

Make it!

• Mix all of the mixture ingredients together in a bowl
• Pop a little mixture on each wonton wrapper (don't overfill) and dab milk across the edges. Fold up around your mixture, but leave the centre unfolded.
• Pop in a steamer and steam for about 8 minutes (you might want two steamers - going back and forth to put more on is a bit of a pain).
• Serve with chilli oil and then make some more. And some more. And some more.

Flickr image from B.2010's photostream. Your dumplings will look a lot like that. I'll stop using stunt photos once I've got a camera cable, I promise.

Sluttishly Savoury: Dragon Eggs

These are a slightly less yucky version of Century Eggs (also known as hundred year eggs, or even thousand year eggs for those fond of hyperbole). Century Eggs are a delicacy I tried when living in Hong Kong. They are preserved in salt and ash for several months, resulting in a gelatinous grey yolk and strange brown "white". The flavour is quite, er, strong. I loved them, my other half nearly barfed on trying them.

Dragon Eggs (my tarted up take on soy sauce eggs) are not nearly as polarising. Unless you REALLY hate either eggs or soy sauce of course, in which case maybe you should steer clear.

I decided to crunch the shells artistically so there is a nice crackled pattern on the white. I feel that a dragon's egg would have a bit of a crackle going on. The look you're going for is the eggy equivalent of Nails Inc's Camden crackle top coat.

Soy sauce eggs (makes 6)


You'll need:

• 6 eggs
• 240ml water
• 120ml dark soy sauce
• 120ml brown sugar
• 1tsp crushed garlic
• Thinly sliced spring onions, to garnish

Make it!

• First bring a pan of water to the boil and pop the eggs in. 
• Simmer for 6 minutes, then scoop them out and refresh them in some cold water.
• Put the water, soy, sugar and garlic in a small saucepan (so the eggs fit snugly) and bring to the boil so the sugar dissolves.
• Bash the eggs a little bit so the shells get some artistic cracks in them.
• Put the eggs into the soy mixture and cover with a cartouche. 
• Simmer for 30 minutes, then leave to cool in the liquid for 30 minutes. If the eggs are not completely covered by liquid, make sure you turn them every now and again.
• Peel, halve and sprinkle with spring onions to serve.

Shoe Porn: River Island Pastel Buckle Sandals

Pastel sandals? In January? Yes, I've obviously gone mad. I'm so in love with these shoes and I know that in a couple of weeks, they're going to be sold out and then I won't have a pair to wear once it's sunny. And what could be sunnier than a shoe that looks like it was inspired by an ice cream? Nothing at all, that's what.

I'm in colour blocking heaven, and the huger than huge see through buckle is the perfect touch to the most ridiculous shoe I've ever recommended. I don't care. I want to paint my toenails pretty girlish colours to match (a beige gloss would be perfect). They're £60 from River Island and despite the cold, I bet you absolutely want them on your feet.

Sluttishly Savoury: Char Siu Pork Pastries

There's always a bit of an argument when I go for dim sum (Westferry Royal China, most hungover Sundays). I don't like the pork buns, but for everyone else I know they're a dim sum staple. I almost always lose this fight, but sometimes I get my way and we compromise with pork pastries instead.

Pork pastries are my happy place.

Char siu is one of the sexiest things in the world. It just tastes SO GOOD. Unctuous, sticky, savoury. That reddish-pink pork is a thing of the gods. Wrap it in pastry and I'm practically giddy. Because it's Chinese New Year, I made some for lunch today. I started with one of Su Lin's recipes on Tamarind and Thyme (you should probably always start here for Chinese recipes), but then tweaked and played. You should get about 16-20 pastries out of this recipe, depending on what size you make them. Don't forget the golden dim sum rule: don't overfill them. Yes, filling is tasty, but they'll open up and be ruined. Less is always more than you think when it comes to dim sum filling.

You'll need:

• 350g char siu pork (you can get char siu from a Chinese supermarket, but if you don't have one near you then make your own with our char siu marinade recipe).
• One red onion
• 1tsp hoisin sauce
• 1tsp oyster sauce
• 1tsp dark soy sauce
• Splash sesame oil
• 2 sheets of shortcrust pastry
• 1 egg
• Sesame seeds (optional, but pretty)

Make it!

• Preheat the oven to 200 degrees
• Fry the onions in sesame oil until they're soft, and then add the sauces and char siu, stirring occasionally until the meat is covered and heated through. Leave to cool. Try not to eat it all.
• Eat a little bit more than you intended.
• Cut discs of pastry (I found that a pint mug created the best size) and place a slightly heaped teaspoon of mixture in the middle of the discs. NO MORE. Fold your pastry over and pleat the edges to seal.
• Beat an egg with a little water and use as an egg wash. Sprinkle with sesame seeds if you have some to hand. They look pretty.
• Pop in the oven for 15-20 minutes until golden brown and then eat as many as possible before everyone comes into the kitchen to find out what the nice smell is.

Flickr image from Joyosity's photostream. I have lost the cable for my camera and my photos are being held captive.