Morning Mocktail: Starburst Smoothie

2012, as you're all probably sick of hearing by now, is the Year of the Dragon. *does best dragon impression* Grrr. So, we've all got a great excuse to be fiery and temperamental, not to mention grumpy-as-hell in the morning. Hurrah!

If you're in dire need of a Chinese New Year-themed smoothie (and, let's face it, who isn't?) then I've concocted something splendid just for you. Scrummy!

(Oh, and I've included this You Tube video because I think it's funny, not because I think it's a genius idea ... of course not ...)

You'll need (for two smoothies):

• One dragon fruit (that's pretty much the extent of the Chinese New Year theme, btw)
• One kiwi (which are also known as Chinese gooseberries, so the theme continues ...)
• Handful of strawberries (nope, no Chinese link there ...)
• One banana
• 1/4 of a watermelon
• Crushed ice or a scoop of ice cream
  
• 400 ml milk

Shake it!

• Chop all your fruit into chunks.
• Pop the milk, ice cream or ice into a blender.
• Add the fruit and blitz until smooth. If the mixture is too thick then add more milk.
  
• Pour into smoothie glasses and garnish with something festive ... perhaps a fortune cookie or a little Chinese lantern?
  

Top Whisky Recipes

Burns Night means whisky and last night on our Facebook page, Deidre asked us for a little round up of whisky recipes so you can have a whisky cocktail after your haggis. Here's a round up of our favourite whisky recipes.

Whisky Sour: This is the perfect cocktail when your cupboards are bare. You'll have all of the ingredients even when you've only got toast for tea.

Rusty Nail: One of the most underrated cocktails there is. We do love a rusty nail.

Blood and Sand: One of the only cocktails to be created especially for a film. Tastes good too.

Hot Toddy: If you're under the weather, there is nothing better.

Whisky Mac: Is there an easier cocktail to make?

Got a bottle of bourbon to hand? It might not be Scottish but it does mean that you can make these whisky cocktails as well.

Old Fashioned: My favourite whisky cocktail.

Sazerac: It's refined, it's short, it's pretty perfect.

Ward Eight: Fruity, with a bit of a punch.

Horse's Neck: Get your peel curling skills sorted for this one.

Lynchberg Lemonade: It's a classic, but an excellent long drink.

Whatever whisky you end up drinking tonight, have a fabulous Burns night.

Weekly Wine: Wine to Make You Giggle

It's still January, isn't it? Yeah, I thought so. Bugger.

The most depressing month of the year needs an injection of fun, and what better source than a nice glass of the good stuff. Some wine is more fun than others, and I'm a particular fan of a tasty glass of vino that has a deliciously silly name.

Bobbie Burns Shiraz

First things first: it's Burns Night. If you're looking for something to match your haggis (including Sara's fabulous vegetarian version she shared yesterday) you probably want something hearty like a Shiraz. What better than the Bobbie Burns Shiraz from Aus: big and beefy in body with bundles of fruit, and fun to show off at your Burns Night party. It's £12.47 a bottle from Good Wine Online.

Goats Do Roam White

With French wine names dominating the market, it's become a popular tease of New World producers to give soundalike names to their own wines. Goats do Roam in South Africa use Rhone varieties, in this case Viognier, Roussanne and Grenache Blanc (although their red wine is also yummy), and this pretty bottle is an obvious dig at Cotes-du-Rhone. I imagine you can't really tell the difference when you try to pronounce it after a glass too many. It's £7.00 a bottle from West Mount Wine.

Chat en Oeuf

Probably the most popular brand I'm mentioning today, these guys are playing the same sneaky trick as the Goats do Roam fellas but this is actually France poking fun at itself: Chat en Oeuf (playing on Chateauneuf, if you're not already with the programme) is from the Languedoc region of France. Again, they do a red version but I prefer the citrussy, apricot-filled flavours of their white. It's a steal at £5.99 a bottle from Ocado.

'Vavavoum' Corbieres

The South of France is clearly cottoning on to the idea that we like a giggle while we're glugging, and this gorgeous red is one of the best I've had in a long while. It's from the excellent Corbieres appellation, and is dangerously easy to drink. It certainly lives up to the name, and is particularly good value at £7.50 a bottle from The Wine Society.

Some Young Punks: The Squid's Fist Sangiovese Shiraz

I saved the best 'til last here, and this may well be my favourite wine of all time. This Aussie producer knows where it's at: they combine innovation in grape blending as well as the coolest name and the sexiest labels I've ever seen. It's £13.95 a bottle from N D John Wines and worth every penny.

What's the best wine name you've ever seen? Would a silly name lure you to buy a wine (or is that just me)? Tell us in the comments or swoop over to our Twitter and Facebook pages.

Burns Night tribute: Deep Fried Tunnocks Tea Cakes

Yes, other chocolate bars were definitely harmed in the making of this gooey, melty, chocolate treat. We're already fans of Tunnock's Tea Cakes and given that it's Burns Night (work with us here) we thought we'd try to give them the same treatment as we've heard is meeted out to Mars Bars, pizzas and other delicacies in Scotland. By far, the tea cake is the victor.

Make your batter as gluey and thick as possible, and coat the tea cake well. I used our mini-deep fryer but you could also heat the oil in a heavy-based frying pan. Whichever method you use, remember to be really careful around the oil as it's going to be extremely hot!  Also it's best if you can chill, or ideally freeze the tea cakes for a couple of hours beforehand so that they'll have a little more resistance to the hot fat.

Does it look unappetising? Ok, a little. That's chocolate and disintegrating marshmallow trying to escape out the top right there in the picture. Does it taste good? Oh. Yes. Indeed. In a filthy, deep fried, melting chocolate, runny marshmallow-fluff centre type way. 

I nearly made the batter with Irn-Bru. But thought that might be going just a little too far...

You will need:

• Tunnock's Tea Cakes, frozen or chilled
• Milk
• Plain flour
• Corn flour
• Oil for frying 

Make it!

1. Heat the oil, and while it's coming to temperature, make the batter
2. Start with 50ml of milk, and sieve in 100g of cornflour, whisking constantly to avoid lumps - top up with some plain flour until it's got a very stiff consistency
3. Check the oil is ready by dropping in some batter - it should sizzle immediately
4. Liberally coat the tea cake with the paste-like batter and lower carefully into the hot oil
5. Fry until golden brown

Dream Dress: Multicoloured stripe dress by Closet

I think this is going to be a real love or hate dress. I am firmly in the love camp. The colours! The stripes! The shape! Closet have come up with a total winner. We're really bored with winter now (did you see these summery shoe lovelies yesterday?) and having this dress would mean I could convince myself that summer is definitely on the way very soon indeed. Even if I did have to wear it with some colourful opaque tights for a while. Imagine how equally fab that'll look though.

Stripey fabulousness can be yours for £52 from Dorothy Perkins

Sluttery Travels: Prestonfield, Edinburgh

Calm yourself, Domestic Sluttery readers. Prestonfield in Scotland is going to make your heart flutter. Home of Edinburgh's Lord Provost, it was built in 1687 and it's one of the most elegant hotels in Scotland. By elegant, I mean a damn sexy pile of bricks that I'm plotting to steal and make Sluttery HQ.

I would write great postcards at that desk.

And have brilliant erm.. dreams in that bed.

The details are sumptuous. This is the kind of hotel for snuggling up in when it's pouring with rain outside. I know Edinburgh's an awesome city, but I'd be finding excuses not to leave this place.

Sitting in these chairs would be a large part of my excuse.

"Sorry but I don't appear to want to move from this sofa. You go out, I'll have another whisky sour."

The hotel has 23 rooms and is just five minutes from the city centre. The suites aren't cheap at over £300 a pop, but there is bubbly and breakfast included. Standard rooms are just as gorgeous and usually £265 for a night. Luckily Prestonfield have some fantastic offers and a double room this month is just £150 for a night - bubbly and breakfast included.

One of you had better take me with you this time. You never take me with you.

Wallpaper Wednesday: Timorous Beasties' Thistles

As we're going for a bit of a Burns night theme today, it seemed only right to feature some Scottish-inspired wallpaper. What better than this Timorous Beasties Thistle design?

The blue is gorgeous.

How about pink? It's a little too vibrant even for me.

The wallpaper was created by the Glasgow based design duo Alistair McAuley and Paul Simmons. Timorous Beasties have been creating gorgeous wallpapers since 1990 and this one is perfect for a Burns  Night edition of Wallpaper Wednesday. The paper is £75 a roll from Occa Home and will look gorgeous all year around.