Gluten Free: Toffee Apple Mille-Feuille

Mille-Feuille literally means "thousand leaves" so this, with only three layers, is a rather conservative version. Normally made with puff pastry, my gluten free version uses shortcrust because, honestly, who has time to roll and fold butter into pastry all day? Gluten free bakery LoveMore used to make a GF puff pastry, but there were production issues so they had to discontinue it. It's one of the things I miss the most now that I'm gluten free and I do occasionally make it myself, but it's a palaver. This Mille-Feuille might more accurately be described as a 'toffee apple shortcake', but that sounds less impressive at dinner parties.

Admittedly, toffee apples are more of a Hallowe'en thing than a late August thing, but since you get them at carnivals and fairs, too, I feel justified in using them as inspiration, even 65 days before.

Toffee Apple Mille-Feuille (makes about 4)
You'll need:

• 200g gluten free shortcrust pastry, I used Dietary Specials frozen pastry
• 200g soft brown sugar
• 200ml water
• 2 tbsp golden syrup
• ½ tsp cider vinegar
• 3-4 crisp red apples, cut into 1cm cubes (put in water with a squeeze of lemon juice to stop them going brown)
• 150ml double cream
• a few blackberries, blackcurrants or raspberries, whatever's available

Make it!

1. Preheat your oven to 190°C/375°F/gas mark 5.
2. Roll the pastry (between two sheets of baking paper is the easiest way) out to about 2mm thick and cut into evenly sized rectangles (around 8cm x 5cm).
3. Place the rectangles of a baking tray and bake for about 20 minutes, until crisp and golden brown. Leave to cool.
4. Gently heat the brown sugar and water together in a saucepan until the sugar has dissolved and the water starts to bubble. Don't stir it, instead swirl the pan to mix.
5. Remove from the heat and add the golden syrup and vinegar and put back on the heat. 
6. Keep heating (and avoid stirring if you can - it's more likely to crystallise if you do) until it starts to bubble and thicken. If you have a sugar thermometer, you're waiting for it to get to 140°C/285°F .
7. When the syrup reaches hard crack stage – when it hardens instantly when you drop a little in cold water -  take a dessert spoon-full of the syrup and spread it out on some baking paper to a similar size as your pastry rectangles. Make four of these.
8. Take the syrup off the heat, drain the apple cubes and add them to the syrup (it might spit so be careful). Coat the apple cubes in the syrup and pour out on to a sheet of baking paper and leave to cool.
9. Whip the cream until it's just firm, but not stiff. If you have some Calvados, chuck a tablespoonful in there because, well, do you really need a reason to put booze in your desserts?

Putting it all together

1. Start with a rectangle of pastry, a spot of cream on the plate will stop it from moving around.
2. Spread a little cream over the pastry and place toffee apple cubes and berries over the surface. Dot a little more cream on top of the fruit. 
3. Place the sugar-syrup rectangle on top and repeat the cream, apple and berry layer. 
4. Top with a final piece of pastry and dust with a little icing sugar.

Serve immediately after building your Mille-Feuille, the hard toffee layer with start to soften if you wait too long to eat.

(I recently asked the guys from LoveMore if they'd bring back their puff pastry, and they said they'd love to, since it's the product most people ask about! Fingers crossed...)

Ridiculous Kitchen Gadgets You Actually Need

If you've a fan of the Lakeland catalogue, chances are you've found some ludicrous kitchen equipment waiting on your doorstep after an ill-advised shopping binge. Who among us doesn't have a strawberry huller, cake pop maker, pie shield or giant ice rock tray in the back of a cupboard? *700 hands go up* And who among has used them more than once? *699 hands go down*

Right. So let's sort the wheat from the chaff and work out which kitchen gadgets will actually improve our lives rather than take up space in the biscuit cupboard.

Let's start with Quirky Stem, a citrus sprayer that lets you spritz your food with lemon or lime juice. No more chopping up a lemon and squirting juice in your eyes (just me?) or getting pips in your dinner. Use it to garnish a salad, flavour a piece of fish, or add some zing to your glass of water. It's £5.95 from Prezzybox.

If you haven't let poachpods from Lakeland into your life yet, you need to invest. Lightly coat them with oil, crack the eggs into them, float in boiling water, then slide out your perfectly poached eggs. They're foolproof, and just £4.99 for two.

I love this corkcicle - a stalactite filled with thermal gel that you keep in the freezer til needed. Then slot it into the top of your wine bottle to keep it cold and keep bugs out. Essential if you're on a picnic, pretty handy if you're just at home and can't be bothered to put the wine back in the fridge. It's £19.99 from Firebox - I know, it's pricy, but this way you can buy the cheap wine from the off licence shelves rather than the more expensive stuff in the fridges when you're off on a picnic. Totally justifiable that way.

Let's stay with Firebox for the Bar10der - oh wait, BARTENDER! I just got it! - which has all the cocktail making gadgets you'll ever need. Ever tried to make one of our cocktails and ended up muddling mint leaves with the end of a rolling pin or straining your creation through a colander? This is a Swiss army bar knife with tools including a muddler, jigger, strainer and stirrer. It's £30 but you'd never need another cocktail gadget again.

This is a clever way to get you to drink more water. The Aqua Zinger has a built-in herb and fruit infuser. Fill the base with whatever you fancy - berries, lemon and lime, cucumber, or mint and basil - then twist it to chop up the contents. It will subtly infuse your water with the flavour. It's £25 from the Science Museum shop so add it to your birthday list or wait for it to hit the sales.

Abigail Ahern for less at Debenhams

Abigail Ahern has long been one of my home decorating heroes. Her style is bold, fearless and bold and a fantastic alternative to the world of taupe (if you like taupe, you should probably stop reading now). I've lost count of the enthusiastic responses a mention of her A Girl's Guide to Decorating book has elicited, from women and men alike. She has a pretty fabulous online shop too but, with prices going into the hundreds and even the thousands, I try not to look too much for fear of heartbreak.

This is where high street collaborations become the most wonderful things. I would have never put her at Debenhams but there she is, in the form of Abigail Ahern for Edition. Her ridiculously brilliant things are now available at ridiculously wonderful prices.

It's something of a greatest hits collection. Remember her bulldog lamp? In the Abigail Ahern shop, it's a princely £275. This grey dog lamp, while obviously lacking some of the finesse of the original model, is a much more wallet friendly £85 (as is the Penguin featured at the top of the post).

Or do you remember the Moss Scottie dog? While sadly Debenhams are yet to knock up a budget one of those, the scottie does appear in this collection, in the form of this wall hook, available for just £8.

It's not all animal antics. There are also some good basics for adding a touch of fanciful to your home, like picture frames and candles. The scroll mirror above is perfect for a baroque n roll interior, though it's the most expensive item in the collection at £120 (though watch this collection carefully, it definitely won't be to everyone's taste and therefore will probably will end up as brilliant sales bargains - Laura B will be on the look out).

Buy this red velvet candle holder now with glee and guilt free at £28. Who would have ever thought you needed a red velvet candle holder in your life? No-one. And that's what makes this whole collection so exciting - it's nothing you need, but all kinds of things you want, all at very good prices.

Sluttishly Savoury: Drunken Spaghetti

Drunken spaghetti, or spaghetti all'ubriaco as it is known in Italy, is one of those crazy-obvious recipes that has somehow been flying under my radar for 33 years.

I'm no stranger to cooking with booze, so why has it taken me this long to realise that pasta can be cooked in wine? The answer to that particular question may forever remain a mystery, dear readers. Or the answer may be that I AM A MORON.

I'm making amends now, and jeezo, amends never tasted so good. This is one of those very simple, sauceless pastas - pancetta, olive oil, a little butter, a hefty dose of garlic and a sprinkling of parsley provide enough yumminess - but the star of this meal is the wine-infused pasta. Yup - we're actually going to boil the pasta in red wine, until it turns burgundy and tastes divine. Isn't that just marvellous?

Use cheap wine, by all means (the recipe calls for a whole bottle, after all), but do make sure it's halfway-drinkable, otherwise the final dish won't taste as nice as it could. Oh, and vegetarians - leave out the pancetta, but be aware that you might need to add a little more salt to compensate. Fish-lovers can substitute a few anchovies in place of the pancetta.

Drunken Spaghetti (serves 4-6)

You will need:

• A big pinch of salt
• 425g spaghetti
• 1 bottle cheap-but-drinkable red wine
• A generous glug of olive oil
• A knob of butter
• 100g cubed pancetta 
• 4-5 cloves garlic, peeled and finely chopped
• A handful of flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped
• Salt and pepper to taste
• Some Parmesan or Pecorino
• Pine nuts to garnish (optional)

Make it!

1. Put a large saucepan of water on to boil. Once it has reached boiling point, add a good pinch of salt and chuck in the spaghetti. Cook for 3-4 minutes, drain and set aside.
2. Using the pan you've just boiled the pasta in (tip out any water that's left in there!), pour in the bottle of wine and bring to the boil. Add the pasta and cook for a further 6-7 minutes until it's al dente.
3. While the pasta is cooking, heat the oil and butter in a small frying pan. Throw in the pancetta, and once it starts to crisp, add the garlic. Take off the heat as soon as the garlic starts to colour - don't let it burn! 
4. By this time, the pasta should have absorbed most of the wine and turned burgundy. Drain the pasta over the frying pan and mix any winey juices with the pancetta and garlic. Now add the contents of the frying pan to the drained pasta in the saucepan.
5. Stir well, add some parsley, and season to taste.
6. Grate fresh Parmesan or Pecorino over each serving, and sprinkle over a few pine nuts if you're into that kind of thing. As you can tell from the photo, I am.

Friday Wishlist: Gorgeous things you want to buy RIGHT NOW

The perfect floral dress. £65 from Oasis.

The perfect Mary Janes. £139 from Plumo.

The perfect tray. £30 from Oswell's.

The perfect bag. £104 from Boticca.

The perfect earrings. £8 from Joy.

3D Spaceship Cookie Cutters

This 3D cookie cutter thing is threatening to take over my kitchen. First it was the dinosaurs...

Then came the safari animals...

Now those awesome folk at SUCK UK have created spaceship cookie cutters, complete with little space men and stars. Obviously.

He's the best spaceman, because if he gets stranded a la Armageddon, he'll be faced with a whole edible spaceship dilemma. Bruce Willis didn't get that option.

Neeeeeeeeeooooooooooooooow!

There's going to be a space war in my kitchen. The territory at stake is the leftover chilli con carne. Aaaaaand FIGHT!

Important pre-baking action shot.

Look how many pieces you get! Use our gingerbread recipe for the pieces, it doesn't expand much during cooking so your spaceshapes should be perfect for your spaceships.

As ever with SUCK UK cookie cutters, they're £7.50 and you'll get a random pack. If you order two packs, they'll be different. But typically, in about two weeks you'll be able to order from Firebox and choose with set you want. Obviously 'all of them' is the answer. I fully expect you to be having a dinosaur/giraffe/spaceman war throughout next week.

Sluttery Sales Spy: Joy, Antipodium & Darling

Happy Friday, Chuckleberries! Are you in the mood to save some money? Come along then.

THE DRESSES

Louche Enya dress, £35 (was £69), Joy

Oh goodness, now I'm thinking about Enya. That's a bad start. Happily, her namesake dress from Joy is maxipretty and is taking my mind off her musical shenanigans. Get an extra 10% off (off the dress, not my mind) by entering the code EXTRA10 at the checkout.

Jordan dress, £35 (was £55), Darling

Ah, my old mucker the chevron stripe. How I love thee. This Jordan dress from Darling is indeed darling, and it also comes in a sort of caramel with a hint of taupe (French for mole!) and blue (English for bleu!) colourway.

THE BAGS

Cambridge Satchel Co. canary yellow 11" satchel, £73.50 (was £105), ASOS

I've been lusting after a bright yellow satchel for, oh, most of my life. This one from the Cambridge Satchel Company is exclusive to ASOS - and while it's not exactly cheap as chips at £73.50, it is cheaper than it once was. As cheap as dauphinoise potatoes, perhaps. Really quite expensive dauphinoise potatoes. Like the kind Heston would make, with truffles uncovered by Wilbur the pig, and cream made from the milk of gerbils, and garlic imported from Narnia, and salt extracted from the tears of unicorns and the sweat of the narwhal. That kind of dauphinoise potatoes.

Anyway, it's leather and expertly crafted and all that jazz, so it's an INVESTMENT.

Mr Fox Luxx bag, £18 (was £50), Kate Garey

This week has most certainly marked the return of foxes and the rest of the woodland gang to Domestic Sluttery. Sian found The Greatest Slippers In The World™, while Kat punned her way to squirrel jumper glory, and now here I am showing you Kate Garey's wonderful Mr Fox bag. PRO TIP: Erroneously Googling 'Kate Garraway Fox Bag' will inexplicably bring up a lots of stuff about babies and fertility. I'll admit it harshed my mellow a little bit. I was only looking for cute foxes.

THE SKIRTS

Flourish ballerina skirt, £54.95 (was £158), Anthropologie

Every time I look at this ballerina skirt from Anthropologie I start humming the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy, before launching into an energetic series of demi-pliés, grands jetés, petits fouettés and fish dives. Then I get to doing the frappés and just give up and go to Starbucks instead. They're a hard nut to crack, those frappés.

Pleated floral midi skirt, £20 (was £40), ASOS

This model knows how wonderful she looks in her pleated midi skirt from ASOS. It's a shame she spilled that beans 'n' cheese baked potato down her front over lunch, but she's doing a smashing job of hiding it.

THE SHOES

Rocket Dog Vinny shoes, £19.99 (was £35), Schuh

Sometimes, I just need a comfy, vaguely infantile shoe to run about in, and if they're yellow to boot (to shoe?), it makes me all the more joyous. These Rocket Dog Vinny shoes from Schuh earn bonus points for having a daisy-print lining. I mean, I know no-one can see the lining when they're on your feet, but so what? It's a little secret of your very own. Like having fancy pants on. OR NO PANTS AT ALL.

Antipodium cork slingbacks, £25.50 (was £85), ASOS

A lot of dithering took place before these Antipodium for ASOS slingbacks made the Sales Spy cut. I'm not really a slingbacks kinda girl (how do you walk in them? I still don't know. Is it magic? Is glue involved?). HOWEVER. They are made of cork! So how can I resist their charms? It'll be like wearing Portugal on my feet. And is that a silver heel I see before me? I can't tell. It might be white.

JUNK FOOD THEMED ITEM OF THE WEEK

Burger necklace, £42 (was £60), Tatty Devine

I want this burger necklace SO much. It's down to £42 in the Tatty Devine sale, which equates to roughly 17½ McDonald's Happy Meals. It's also less fattening and gives longer-lasting satisfaction. It's available in a super-deluxe version (28 Happy Meals), and as a ring (11¾ Happy Meals), too. 

I'm hungry now.