Where are all the coats with hoods?

If India Knight, who wrote a whole damn book about shopping, can't find a hooded coat, then what hope is there for the rest of us? Coats with hoods are the holy grail - cosy, snuggly, and mitigating the need for an umbrella. They're like a joyous cocoon against whatever winter can throw at you, yet annoyingly hard to track down.

Have you left it too late this year to find one? No, my friend. They're still out there, waiting to bundle you up.

Let's start with my favourite, which is also - bonus! - the cheapest - a red duffle coat from Debenhams, in the sale at £39. Readers, I spent almost that amount on two cocktails last weekend, for I am a London dwelling idiot. I could have had a bright red coat with a detachable hood and deep pockets instead. It comes in regular and petite sizes.

Joy always gives good coat, and this navy duffle coat is no exception. They've given it a super long fancy write-up, but basically:
1) it's a duffle coat
2) it comes in navy or green
3) it's £125.

Looking for something a bit cheaper, modelled by a woman who's been asked to demonstrate coy surprise? Then get thee to Oasis for this checked hood coat, priced at £95.

Oh Zara, your impossibly chic caramel duffle coat with a fur lined hood, you make me want to sit outside cafés in Europe sipping fancy coffees. Thankfully it comes in black too, to hide the inevitable espresso spills. It's £159.

There's something pleasingly childlike about this burgundy duffle coat with a check trim from Miss Selfridge. It reminds me of standing on a chair waiting for mum to do my toggles up before I could go and play outside. Frankly, I could do with help some mornings now (shout out to the woman on my train who discreetly told me I'd buttoned my coat up wrongly last week). It's £69 and comes in navy too.

How cosy does this Parka London faux fur coat look? It'd be like being cuddled by a friendly bear all winter long. It's what I believe fancy magazines call "an investment coat" as it's £290 from ASOS, and what I call "how much?!? Oh hang on, if I wear it all winter for the next ten years then the cost-per-wear is about 7p".

Seen any other excellent hooded coats? Please share the love in the comments, so we can all coo over your findings.

Gluten Free: Empire Biscuits

Empire biscuits are one of the best biscuits in the world. Of course, as a Scot, I might be a bit biased, but they really are one of the greatest things you can have with a cup of tea, ever. While Empire biscuits (or Imperial biscuits, depending on who you ask) aren’t exclusively Scottish, we’ve basically nabbed them as our own. That said, we're not precious too about them to share with the rest of Blighty.

My gluten free-ified version is adapted from the recipe in the Glasgow Cookbook, but I’ve gotten lazy over the years. Over time, I’ve ended up using a mixture of plain and self-raising gluten free flours instead of having to find a measuring spoon for baking powder. Less time rummaging through drawers means more time eating biscuits - and that’s always a wonderful thing.

Empire Biscuits (makes 8 to 10 biscuits)
You’ll need:

• 250g gluten free plain flour mix
• 150g gluten free self-raising flour mix
• 350g icing sugar
• 200g butter
• 1 egg, beaten
• 10 tsp seedless strawberry or raspberry jam
• Jelly Tots, or glace cherries, to decorate

Make it!

1. Preheat your oven to 180°C/350°F/gas mark 4.
2. Sieve the flour mixes and 150g of the icing sugar together into a bowl.
3. Cut the butter into little cubes and rub into the flour and sugar mix with your fingertips until you have something that looks like fine breadcrumbs.
4. Add the egg, a little at a time, until you have a soft dough. You might not need to use the whole egg. (If you do use all the egg and the mixture still needs more, add a little milk.)
5. Leave the dough to rest for 5-10 minutes.
6. Roll the dough out between two sheets of cling film to ½ cm thick and cut 7 or 8 cm rounds out with a biscuit cutter. You should get between 16 to 20 rounds. If it’s a bit much to roll out at once, do in two batches. Oh, and the joy of gluten free dough is that you can roll and re-roll to your heart's content so, go mad.
7. Lay the rounds on non-stick baking sheets (or line your baking sheets with baking paper) and rest them in the fridge for at least 20 minutes.
8. Bake for 18-20 minutes, until lightly golden and firm to the touch. Leave to cool completely.
9. Put the rest of the icing sugar into a bowl and trickle a little just-boiled water into it, stirring all the time. Add a tiny amount of water at a time to make a smooth icing.
10. Sandwich a teaspoonful of jam between two biscuits and smother icing on the top. Decorate with a Jelly Tot or half a glace cherry.

2013's Best Advent Calendars

It's time to buy your advent calendars, everyone! Don't be like me and end up buying a Hello Kitty one from Tesco halfway through December (although it never disappoints me, and leaving it late means I get to eat 12 chocolates in one go). Nope - 'tis the season to treat yourself. From luxe chocolates to fancy teabags, bubble wrap to badges, and nail polishes to candles, 2013 is shaping up to be a Vintage Advent Calendar Year. Let's open the first window... 

I am lusting after this Biscuiteers advent biscuit tin SO HARD. Santa's there. So are the Wise Men. A donkey and some Russian dolls also make an appearance. As always, Biscuiteers' icing skills are of the highest standard, and this cutesome tin of 24 biscuits will make you smile every day until Chrimbob. It's £45, or you can really splash the cash and get the Susie Watson-designed cloth advent calendar to go with it (pictured at the top of the post) for £85. 

Christmas candles ahoy! Already my house smells of mulled wine, spiced apple, and, um, heavenly snow. I am so tempted by this Yankee Candle advent calendar, £21.99, which contains 24 tealights in six yuletide scents, including Snow in Love, Merry Marshmallow and Red Apple Wreath. Each candle has a burn time of 4-6 hours, so your home is going to smell AMAZING every day in December. Well, for at least 24 days of the month, anyway.  

Have you ever been in that situation where you think it's a good idea to share an advent calendar with someone else? IT NEVER IS. It's ALWAYS the most stupid idea you've ever had. Unless that calendar happens to be the Truffles for Two advent calendar from Hotel Chocolat, of course. Each window hides two delicious chocs, including festive flavours like mulled wine, sticky gingerbread and pecan pudding, and cinnamon praline. I can think of no better reason to set the alarm five minutes early each morning, in order to eat BOTH. Start practising your 'WHAT? It wasn't me!' face now. And find £26 to spend on chocolate, stat. 

A different manicure every day until Christmas? Don't mind if I do, lovely Ciaté Mini Mani Month advent calendar. Each window reveals a tiny polish, bottle of fancy nail caviar beads (a clean-up funnel is included), or one of three exclusive glitter colours that won't be on sale ANYWHERE else. I'm guessing that larger polish on the end is your Christmas Eve treat. Fancy. As someone who LOVES nail polish but rarely finishes a full-size bottle before gloop sets in, these miniatures are calling my name. Ciaté's calendar is £42 from Selfridges.

Benefit's Countdown To Love advent calendar has sold out online - sadventface - but there's a chance you might be able to track one down in your local Boots, Debenhams, or department store of choice. It's £50, so your bank manager will breathe a sigh of relief if you don't manage to find one. If you're in Boots, also have a look for their cheaper 24 Days of Beauty Treats advent calendar - it's chockablock with Soap & Glory, Rimmel, Nails Inc. and many more miniature goodies... and has also sold out online. People are dead organised with their beauty advent calendar buying this year, it seems. CURSES.

More foodie delights, in the shape of Carluccio's chocolate advent calendar, £10.95. When good ol' Cadbury's just won't cut it, I'm pretty sure a little foil-wrapped, lemon-shaped Italian chocolate will. Buon Natale!

Readers of my clever candles post a couple of weeks ago will already know that I am a sucker for anything that rotates and plays a song AT THE SAME TIME. This musical, rotating (albeit the sort of rotation that requires the involvement of your hand) advent calendar also features pop-ups, another of my faves, and therefore is a Christmas Winner. It plays We Wish You A Merry Christmas, and costs £12.49 from Amazon. 

Stephen Cottrell's Do Nothing... Christmas Is Coming is described as 'an advent calendar with a difference', and indeed that is true, given that it's actually a book. For every day of Advent, you'll find tips to slow down, wave goodbye to Christmas stress, and enjoy the holiday season. Find your inner peace and joy for £4.99 from Amazon. 

Tea drinkers will adore this advent calendar - it contains 24 numbered tea bags, each a different blend, for you to enjoy in the run-up to Christmas. Check out the full list of flavours, because they are enchanting - guardian angel tea, runny nose tea, and thank you tea to name but three. And all for just £4.30! Stick the kettle on, would you?

Oh, this is fun! If you're a keen bubble wrap popper, give your compulsion some useful meaning this Advent with The Bubble Wrap advent calendar, created by Leeds-based SplitDesign. I really love this simple idea, but could never stop myself from popping more than one bubble each day. Get yours for just £8 from Etsy. 

Eton Mess, treacle tart, summer pudding and lemon meringue pie all make an appearance in Montezuma's British Puddings advent calendar, £9.99. For those who eat their pudding before their main course, just in case they die before dinner's finished, this is the perfect Advent treat. You get to eat pudding before you even leave for work! We'd all rather you stayed alive until Christmas and beyond, though. 

Strictly speaking, Usborne's Advent Calendar to Colour (a bargainous £4.49) is meant for children. Pah. I like colouring in, and therefore I am ignoring this fact. Gatefolds open to reveal a festive street scene, and beneath every die-cut window, there's a new little bit to colour in. Cute for kiddos, even better for me. I'm looking out my neon pencils AS I TYPE (quite difficult).

As a badge collector and everyday badge-wearer, these foxy-owly advent badges are definitely going into my Etsy shopping bag. Designer Maedchenwahn has a whole host of other designs, which can be used to number fill-your-own advent bags, or - my choice - to turn yourself into a walking, talking advent calendar. Each set of 24 badges is £15.37, and postage from Germany is a not-unreasonable £4.29. Plus you can use them every year!

I couldn't round up this year's best advent calendars without mentioning Master of Malt's boozy calendars - we were all over the Ginvent calendar last year, UNSURPRISINGLY. They've been updated for 2013, and this whisky version is £149.95. There's a brilliant comment on their site which begins, "I started opening mine a little early as I couldn't contain my excitement". It's dated October 29th. Good work, that whisky drinker! 

And - hold on to your knickers - a little Advent birdie tells me that there will be a very exciting giveaway later on today, on this very blog, which may interest fans of Master of Malt's drunken advent calendars, i.e. everyone. KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED. Your December alcohol intake depends on it. 

The Day of the Doctor Recipe Round Up

You've probably noticed that we've been getting pretty damn excited about The Day of the Doctor - BBC's 50th anniversary special of Doctor Who (you haven't? Have you been reading The Goldfinch and thus lost all contact with society for the last week?). We're loving the Google doodle - don't click that link if you've still got work to do - and we've even done our own feature on brilliant Doctor Who goodies. But you know the best way to celebrate something this exciting is with enough food to feed a small Whovian army. Here's a round up of all of our Doctor Who-themed recipes from this week.

Obviously, every Doctor Who celebration is going to be better with a gingerbread TARDIS. It lights up! The fonts are all factually correct! It's bigger on the inside!

Thymey Winey Doctor Stew. Time is "like a big ball of wibbly wobbly, timey wimey... stuff". Or in this case, thymey winey stuff. This is the perfect tea for settling down in front of the telly on Saturday night. 7:50PM, remote control-wielding Time Lords.

Dalek bread. Dalek? Bread? Dalek bread? Yep, we've taken the classic French fougasse bread and turned it into a dalektable treat. Exterminate! With your face.

Purple celery canapes. Remember Peter Davison? He always had a stick of celery in his lapel that turned purple when danger approached. So we've created purple celery canapes with a grape jelly and Waldorf dressing (no Waldorfs were harmed in the making of these canapes).

'Fish Finger' and custard trifle. They're not really fish fingers. They're sponge fingers that we've cunningly disguised in tribute to Eleven's favourite food. It tastes nice, no seafood was involved in the making of this, BECAUSE IT'S A BLOODY TRIFLE. We can't be too sure about the contents of the Greggs' offering.

Mince pie bow tie twists. We don't want to play favourites with our Doctors that's a lie, we obviously do, but we do like Matt Smith's bow ties. So we've made them tasty. And festive. And now we've got pastry crumbs down our tops.

Rose's pistachio time vortex cakes in honour of one of our favourite Doctor's assistants. These time vortex cakes are gluten free, because a time vortex obviously doesn't contain gluten. Don't be silly.

Banana daiquiri split. We couldn't have a Doctor Who week without a banana daiquiri making an appearance. Always take a banana to a party. Bananas are good. FONDANT FEZ DEFINITELY NOT OPTIONAL.

The Sonic Screwdriver. Of course, no 50th anniversary celebration would be complete without a cocktail. Since we've turned the famed banana daiquiri into a pudding, a Sonic Screwdriver was the obvious choice. Vodka, glow in the dark ice cubes and popping candy. Unfortunately we couldn't magic up David Tennant to pour it for you.

Now you've got everything you need for a bloody brilliant Day of the Doctor party and you didn't even invite us over to sit on your sofa. Do leave a comment telling us what you're up to for the big day so we know which parties to gatecrash.

The Boy and His Poison: The Sonic Screwdriver

The traditional Doctor Who cocktail should probably be a Banana Daiquiri but we do things differently here. I'll leave that on the dessert table. Instead my sonic screwdriver contains enough booze to make the room spin like a TARDIS, and sonic blue glow-in-the-dark ice (we know you like your foodstuffs to glow in the dark). This orange and vodka combination is a nod to the classic screwdriver, but with a bit of Time Lord inspiration.

With the aid of a UV torch, a bottle of tonic water with its magic quinine, you can create tiny booze filled lamps that simultaneously chill and suspend your drink in a blue glowy light (just don't forget to freeze your glasses the night before.)

Finally there's the garnish. This is a short drink and it warrants gentle sipping. Nothing makes sipping more interesting than the Heston-endorsed answer to all problems ... popping candy. So, switch on your UV lights, pour, and serve just in time for the time-bending action to start.

The Sonic Screwdriver (serves 1)

You'll need:

• 50ml Vodka
• 25ml Blue Curacao
• 25ml Lime juice
• Tonic Water
• Popping candy
• A squeeze of lemon juice 

Prepare your glasses:

1. The night before you want your drinks, pour tonic water into your chosen glasses until they're a third full and pop them (carefully balanced, on a box of fish fingers perhaps) in the freezer.
2. When you're ready for your drinks, squeeze the lemon juice onto a plate and use it to coat the rim of the glass.
3. Dip a finger into the curacao and wipe round the rim of the glass.
4. Pour the pop rocks onto a saucer before dipping the rim of the glass into the pop rocks.

Make it:

1. In a shaker or large glass, mix the curacao, vodka and lemon juice.
2. Pour into the centre of the glass avoiding the popping candy and serve with the UV light switch on.
3. Sit back in wonder. 

Sluttery Sales Spy: Lady Vintage, Hobbs & Topshop

Can I interest you in a nice hot cup of sales? Perhaps a bargain biscuit on the side? And would you like a thrifty tot of whisky in that? 

I'll put the kettle on then. Polly's on holiday. So is Sukey. They're breaking HR policy and will be punished. 

THE DRESSES

Tulip print dress, £15 (was £40), Lady Vintage

We do love a bit of Lady Vintage here at DS HQ, and is it any wonder when they're selling dresses like this gorgeous tulip print number for just £15? FIFTEEN POUNDS! What can you get for £15 these days? PRETTY MUCH NOTHING EXCEPT THIS DRESS.

Oria dress, £63.20 (was £159), Hobbs

Have we been transported back in time in a gingerbread TARDIS? For we appear to have ended up smack-bang in the middle of the Swinging Sixties. This nippy Oria dress from Hobbs comes in FIRE RED or lapis blue (the blue is more expensive at £88) and features not one, not two, not even three, but FOUR pockets. HANDY.

THE SHOES

Morris flats, £26 (was £35), ASOS

One word, and I'm caps-locking it: DAPPER. You'll be ready for anything in these Morris flats from ASOS. A round of golf. Solving a crime. Singing the blues. Loafing on a yacht. A crap game*.

* As in a game of craps, not simply a sub-standard game that hasn't reached your expectations. Although the shoes would be suitable footwear for both these scenarios. 

Logan platforms, £30 (was £78), Topshop

Yellow shoes, it has been scientifically proven by a team of independent researchers (my feet), go with almost everything. These Logan platforms from Topshop are the perfect shade of Colman's. One could say they really cut the mustard. If one were being enticed by condimental puns. Which one is.

THE CARDIGANS

Grace cardigan, £41.99 (was £59.99), Fever

Lacy collars are still one of my fave things. This Grace cardigan from Fever - who are running a 30% off knitwear spesharooney at the moment (ends Monday night, don't dilly-dally!) - is ringing all my cardibells. It'll make you look like you've forced your head through the most gigantic and special of snowflakes. Also, there's the merest hint of sparkle, which is a must at this time of year (tbh, it's a must for me - as it was for my spirit animal, Liberace - every day. Just call me Laurace. Or Liberaura).

Freak of Nature Pinhead cardigan, £33.50 (was £45), ASOS

As we all know, I'm a big fan of Walter Hunt's safety pin design. I'm also a big fan of this Freak of Nature Pinhead cardigan, which showcases Walter's work so wonderfully. Designer Vanessa Kortlang is, according to ASOS, "a designer by day and the lead singer in a rock band by night" whose work draws inspiration from the darker side of counterculture. 

We're very similar in that respect.

THE BAGS

Pieces Iben shopper, £45 (was £60), ASOS

Excuse me one moment while I roll on the floor in a state of pure, unadulterated bag swoonage (ROFSPUBS is the internet acronym, in case you need to use it, which I'm certain you will once you too have picked yourself up from the floor and dusted yourself down).

Okay - let's talk. This bag. This bag is just... SO GOOD. A definite step up - perhaps even a whole flight of stairs up - from the Tesco carrier bag I'm currently using to transport my lunch, book, make-up bag, Hilary and Derren, assorted chargers, and an inexplicable ruler. It's leather (this bag, not the Tesco carrier bag. Although sign me up for one of those when they happen), it has a zip (important for when my bag falls off the bus seat), and it looks posh. I'm getting it.

Grab bag, £30 (was £40), ASOS

What ever would I do with a bag this small? Probably just gaze at it, occasionally opening it up and placing a small piece of fruit inside. I think we're talking a small Honeydew melon, max. So in that regard, this tan grab bag is actually very useful, as I am often looking for ways to transport a small Honeydew melon. Now I have my solution. Thanks, ASOS. Going fruit-niche was a gamble, but it paid off. 

THREE DIMENSIONAL FRUIT JUMPER OF THE WEEK

3D cherries jumper, £29 (was £42), ASOS

This space is usually reserved for things I wish to mildly and jovially take the piss out of (don't look so shocked, you at the back). This week, however, my internal piss-take jury is out. There have been a few problems with the jury in the past, I'll admit - one talked to the Press, another was swigging from a hipflask during a trial, a third copped off with a crim in the courtroom. But now, well, they just can't agree on whether I love or hate this 3D cherries jumper from ASOS. 

It's ridiculous, for sure, but I like ridiculous. Can you help me decide? Be honest, in a soft and cuddly way. 

Sluttishly Sweet: Banana Daiquiri Split

"Always take a banana to a party, Rose. Bananas are good."
The Doctor

The humble banana has had a great many bit-parts in Doctor Who over the years, mainly playing a banana, a role it excels in. The Doctor is - and always has been - a fan of all things banana, as this mercifully short video shows us:

Yup, that just happened. Life enhancing, yes?

He even claims to have invented the banana daiquiri, in 18th century France. "Well," he says, "among other things, I think I just invented the banana daiquiri a couple of centuries early. Do you know they'd never seen a banana before?"

The banana daiquiri split, then, is a fine celebration of 50 years of Doctor Who. The Tenth Doctor once ate two banana splits in a row. If he'd been faced with these delectable creations, drenched in a rum-rich daiquiri sauce, I bet he could've managed three. At least. And in honour of Eleven's favourite headgear, I have garnished my split with a fondant fez. SPOILER ALERT: we'll be seeing more of the fez on Saturday. Look away now if you're avoiding all tantalising hints...

Banana Daiquiri Split (makes 4)
You will need:

• 6 tbsp white rum
• 8 tsp lime juice
• 100g icing sugar
• 4 ripe bananas
• 12-16 scoops of your preferred ice cream flavours - chocolate, strawberry and vanilla are trad, but I omitted the strawberry
• 3-4 tbsp toffee or caramel sauce - cheap and cheerful is fine!
• Squirty cream
• Decorations - the more the merrier! An inventory of mine for reference:
  
  * Soft gold balls
  * Soft white balls
  * Soft silver balls
  * Chopped mixed nuts
  * Glacé cherries
  * Fudge chunks
  * White chocolate stars
  * Edible glitter
  * Lime peel shavings
  * Hilary Devey
  * Tiny gold stars
  * Crystallised rose petals in honour of Rose
  * Miniature fondant fez - fezzes are cool!
  
  I did mean to also add a wafer fan - a Doctor Who fan! - so you definitely should. 

For the fez (optional, makes 4)

• 40g red fondant icing
• A liquorice Catherine Wheel, unravelled  

Make it! 

Hilary Devey just out of shot

1. First, make your fezzes! Take a 10g piece of fondant for each fez, roll it into a fez shape (I found a sort of cone with top and bottom sliced off with a knife worked well).
2. Now take your unravelled Catherine Wheel and use scissors or a knife to fray an inch-long section of it, so that it looks like the tassel atop a fez. Leave an unfrayed part at one end, and stick this into the top of your fondant fez so that the tassel hangs down one side. Repeat until all your fezzes are tasselled and all your Christmases are white, and set aside for just now.
3. Make the daiquiri sauce by combining the rum, lime juice and icing sugar in a bowl, mixing well to remove any lumps. Taste, and add more rum if you want. Because why the hell not?! We're celebrating! 
4. BANANA SPLIT, ASSEMBLE! It's time for the main event! Peel your bananas and slice them in half lengthwise. In the newly-formed gap, put three or four scoops of ice cream. Use one half of the banana peel as a base for the split, if you don't have a banana split dish. That'll help to stop the pieces of banana collapsing under the weight of the ice cream.
5. Spoon generous amounts of both sauces - daiquiri and toffee - over the ice cream, add a squirt of whipped cream, perhaps more sauce if you fancy it, and then all your decorations, IN ABUNDANCE. Make sure Hilary doesn't cover the whole thing. Or eat it. 
6. Finish each split with a couple of cherries and a FEZ. Make it jaunty! 
7. Devour, in the manner of David Tennant. I'll be disappointed if you're not wearing a fez while you eat it. I had mine for breakfast. OF COURSE I had my fez on. I sleep in it.