Baking for Beginners: Hot Toddy Traybake

It's not often you can say a recipe was inspired by star of musical theatre Michael Ball. On the Great Sport Relief Bake Off (side note: that was months ago; how is Sport Relief STILL GOING?), he created a hot toddy traybake with whisky, lemon and cloves. While I applaud the idea, cloves are only good for toothache. And why no cinnamon and ginger, Michael? A missed opportunity. No wonder you didn't win.

If you've got a choice of whisky, go for a bourbon - its rich vanilla notes go perfectly with this cake. If you want to omit the booze altogether, substitute for 2 tsp of vanilla essence.

Best bit about making this: you just throw all the ingredients in together, blitz, and bake. You can get it done while listening to Michael Ball doing that song that he does:




Hot Toddy Traybake
You will need: 

• 225g caster sugar
• 225g butter
• 4 eggs
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon
• 1 tsp ground ginger
• 2 tbsp milk
• 2 tbsp whisky
• 275g self-raising flour
• 1 tsp baking powder
• Grated zest of a lemon

For the topping:

• Juice of half a lemon
• 50g granulated sugar

Make it!

1. Preheat the oven to 160C / 325F / gas mark 3. Line a deep, medium-sized tray or roasting tin with baking paper.
2. Put all the traybake ingredients into a food processor and blitz for 5 minutes, until the mixture is smooth and well-combined. If you're doing it by hand, then be prepared to put some serious elbow work in. You'll probably have to listen to Michael Ball do his song again.
3. Tip it into the baking tray and level off the top with a spatula. Bake for around 35-40 minutes until golden brown and springy to the touch.
4. Leave to cool in the tin for a few minutes, then remove the paper and transfer to a wire rack. Leave for around half an hour until just warm, then mix together the lemon juice and sugar and drizzle over the top.

Gluten Free: Coconut and Raspberry Microwave Cake

In spite of all attempts to inform me otherwise, I'm still convinced that microwaves work my superheating crockery to a point where the food warms through as a mere consequence. I know this to be true, because I've experienced the searing pain of grabbing a bowl or mug from the microwave, only to discover that it's hotter than liquid magma. The food inside is usually lukewarm at best.

Cake, however, is definitely something that the microwave does cook rather well. This is most certainly a Good Thing for those moments when I need cake, but have none. Let's be honest, two minutes isn't too long to have to wait for cake, is it?

Coconut and Raspberry Microwave Cake (makes one mug, or two ramekin cakes)
You'll need:

• 45g butter
• 4-5 frozen raspberries
• 1 egg
• 2 tbsp milk
• 3 tbsp light brown sugar
• 4 tbsp gluten free self raising flour mix
• 1½ tbsp desiccated coconut (plus extra for the topping)
• 1 tsp seedless raspberry jam

Make it!

1. Put the butter in a large mug and melt in the microwave in 10 second bursts. 
2. Add the frozen raspberries and squish them slightly with a fork.
3. Beat in the egg, milk and sugar until well mixed.
4. Add the self raising flour mix and coconut and beat with the fork until smooth. 
5. Pop the mug into the microwave and cook on full power for 1 minute 30 seconds. Then, cook in 15-30 second bursts until the cake is cooked through. Poke a skewer through the cake to check it's done. 
6. To make ramekin cakes, divide the mixture between two ramekins and cook as in stage 5. They shouldn't need much more than 1 minute each to cook through, but if you're cooking them both at the same time they'll take a little longer.
7. Spread the jam over the top of the still warm cake(s) and sprinkle some extra desiccated coconut on top.
8. Leave to cool slightly before digging in, you don't want to burn your tongue, do you?

Design Porn: La Luna Porcelain

We've been potty for tea round these parts recently. Holly has rounded up the very best teapots, Frances found some geometric gems from which to sip, and Sian featured the perfect pourer in last week's Friday Wishlist. And today I'm wading in to the Great Teapot Debate Of 2014 with this simply beautiful swan teapot by La Luna. Isn't it just a complete eye-treat? It's £39. 

Come on. Let's go and explore the rest of La Luna's wares, all available from In-Spaces.

We'll be needing a milk jug and sugar bowl to go with our new teapot. I am very keen on the fact that, out of context, the sugar bowl looks quite sinister. Like a shark's fin. Or a little bit of One Direction's hair. Or the head of Darius Danesh. 

There's a swan mug, too, but I'm finding his face and neck a little Loch Ness Monster for my liking. He's got the evil eye. I think he might make me spill hot tea all over myself. 

Much more my cup of tea (BOOM BOOM) is this elephant mug.

Hello little chap! Despite bringing back memories of the Marius debacle, this giraffe mug is ticking all my boxes and ringing all my bells. La Luna's animal mugs are £17 each. That's 'best mug' territory, isn't it? Although my 'best mug' is a Sports Direct one, because why drink a cup's worth of coffee when you can have a bucket-load?

Um, now we veer into Cute or Creepy? territory, I'm afraid, with an emphasis on the creepy. This zebra bowl is giving me the heebie-jeebies, but then I've never been good with decapitated equines. The accompanying creamer and sugar bowl has freaked me out so much I couldn't even picture it here. SHUDDER.

To sum up: I don't love everything La Luna has to offer, but I ADORE the pieces that work with the natural curves and postures of wildlife, particularly the swans and that cheeky wee giraffe. I think (in this case, not in life) simple is best. What say you? 

The Boy and His Poison: The Marmalade Mule

It’s hard to believe there are occasionally pitfalls to being a self-critical, semi-professional lush. Nevertheless sometimes you can get dragged into particularly difficult to solve situations. Like having to cater to the drink demands of 15 people with only the ingredients of the local corner shop.

The Marmalade Mule was the result. At 3pm I was sent out on a drinks-run to celebrate someone’s birthday, with instructions to avoid champagne (apparently this causes hooking up with people you shouldn’t at work, who knew?) my instincts drifted to vodka. Ideally you’d make this drink with a bottle of Chase Marmalade vodka but in the absence of a nearby Waitrose, improvisation was key. A jar of marmalade, some reasonably pure vodka (I opted for Russian Standard which imparted a much softer taste on this drink) and a decent cloudy ginger beer later, I had the makings of an excellent corner shop cocktail. 

The Marmalade Mule (makes one, but scales easily)
You’ll need: 

• 50ml Vodka 
• 1 dessert spoon of marmalade 
• A bottle of cloudy ginger beer 
• 1 Lime halved (for garnish) 

Make it: 

1. Add the marmalade and vodka to a cocktail shaker. 
2. Stir until mixed.
3. Drain into a tumbler. 
4. Add ice and top up with ginger beer. 
5. Squeeze half a lime into the drink. 
6. Garnish with the remainder of the lime.

Friday Wishlist: Gorgeous things you'll want to buy RIGHT NOW

The perfect dress. £69.99 from Fever.

The perfect teapot. £55 from Labour & Wait.

The perfect jacket. £59.99 from Zara.

The perfect rocking chair. £490 from The Peanut Vendor.

The perfect flamingo socks. £3 from Oasis.

The perfect bag. £74 from Wolf & Badger.

The perfect necklace. £35 from Lovely Pigeon.

The perfect shoes. £130 from Kurt Geiger.

Sluttery Sales Spy: Joy, Oasis & Zara Home

This week featuring FREE UNICORNS! I am not lying. 

THE DRESSES

Floral jacquard dress, £45 (was £85), Oasis

Okay, so, I love this jacquard dress, as does Mollie from The Saturdays, but don't let that put you off. I have a coat in this exact pattern and it has two stories attached to it (not physically attached, you understand, although the thought of safety-pinning bits of paper around my person has a certain appeal). 

Story #1: Once, when I was merrily wearing my beloved coat while walking down a hill in a rather insalubrious part of town, I was surprised to see in my path a sofa sitting on the pavement. The sofa, as you may have guessed, was upholstered in the identical fabric of my coat. I don't know how it feels to turn up to a party wearing the same dress as another guest, but I'm guessing that sharing a street with a pee-stained sofa dressed like you is just as awkward. 

Story #2: Approx. two minutes later, as I continued my walk, a man shouted - very aggressively - at me, "Who the fuck do you think you are, wearing that coat, Sarah fucking Jessica Parker?". The answer of course was no, no I didn't think I was Sarah Jessica Parker.

What I'm saying is, buy this dress. But be on red alert for sofas and men.

Louche Modesto dress, £25 (was £55), Joy

This Modesto dress from Joy has been marked down to the modesto price of £25. But I didn't pick it out simply to repeat the word modesto over and over again - fun modesto though modesto that modesto is modesto - oh no. Firstly, it is lovely. Secondly - some would argue more importantly - it allows me to segue into the main news bulletin of today:

*jaunty jingle*

BREAKING NEWS: when you spend £75 at Joy they GIVE you a dress covered in UNICORNS for FREE!

*newscaster runs shrieking to Joy*

*test card*

Louche Earla unicorn dress, FREE* (was £35), Joy (*when you spend £75+)

And here it is! You can buy it full price, of course, but where's the fun in spending £75 on dresses there, eh?

THE BAGS

Deena & Ozzy arrow lock bag, £30 (was £48), Urban Outfitters

I'm beginning to think that teal green is the most practical colour for a bag. It goes with A LOT, doesn't it? My hair was once this colour. It went with a lot, too. 

Trains carry-all bag, £16 (was £24), Cath Kidston

Now. Cath Kidston describes this train bag as being "big and sturdy enough to carry a good few weeks' worth of tinned spaghetti". While I admire and applaud the correct apostrophe usage, I must quibble the rest of the sentence. Big and sturdy as I'm sure it is, what if I eat a tin of spaghetti every day, Cath? What if I'm buying five weeks' worth of spaghetti in one supermarket trip? Oh Cath. That's 35 tins. My arms, Cath. My arms. I'll have the weird post-shopping arm shake for DAYS, Cath. WHAT HELL HATH YOU WROUGHT WITH YOUR CHALLENGE, CATH?

Smashing bag, though.

THE SHOES

Gingham-trimmed Oxford heels, £59.95 (was £118), Anthropologie

Oh hai, ribbon laces. You fiddly little blighters, you. I wish I knew how to quit you. You drive me crazy every time I need to put my shoes on quickly, with all your gentle pushing and prodding and artful arrangement demands. But I love you. The rest of these gingham-trimmed heels is wonderful, too.

London Rebel Golan loafers, £28 (was £40), ASOS

I'm just going to have to go ahead and buy a pair of tasselled loafers, because every time I see some, I twiddle their tassels (stop it, you at the back) and sigh with longing. These splendid London Rebel Golan loafers are contenders. Oxblood! Shiny! OOH!

THE HOMEWARES

Multiple Portrait cushion cover, £4.99 (was £19.99), Zara Home

I don't know who these people are, but as this cushion cover is from Zara Home, I'm going to imagine they are ancestors of Penélope Cruz and Javier Bardem. Javi and Pen should be the king and queen of Spain, should they not? Queen Sofía is brilliant, and Princess Letizia is a total babe, but they ain't no Penélope.

Present Time Dip-it storage shelf, £27 (was £49), BrandAlley

This Dip-it storage thing (they call it a cabinet; it's not) by Present Time is pretty ace and acely pretty. I did experience a pang of oh-I-could-make-something-like-this-myself, but let's enter the real world for a moment to admit that I won't be doing that any time soon, despite winning the Craft & Design prize at high school.

SWEARY CANDLE OF THE WEEK

Fuck candle, £8 (was £25), Urban Outfitters

It's a fuck candle. There isn't really much more I can say.

I wish to know about everything, but mainly: what you've been buying; whether you've ever inadvertently dressed like a piece of furniture; and how much you love unicorns on a scale from 1 to 10, 1 being not at all (as if!), 10 being MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF. I am a 10. 

Let Her Eat Cake: Ultimate Lemon & Poppyseed Cupcakes

If you've ever been to the Czech Republic, you'll know the joy of kolache, buns or pastries stuffed with poppyseed paste. It's a glorious, unusual filling that once you've tried, you won't be able to get enough of. This recipe came about from weeks of my housemate complaining that lemon and poppyseed cakes just aren't the same without the wonderful, buttery kolache flavour: so here's a cakey hybrid to satisfy those cravings. Czech it out! (Groan, I'm so sorry...)

Ultimate Lemon & Poppyseed Cupcakes (Makes 12-14 depending on size of cases)
You'll need:
For the paste:

• 50g poppy seeds 
• 100ml milk
• 2 tbsp butter
• 2 tbsp sugar
• 1/2 tsp vanilla extract

For the cakes:

• 250g butter, softened
• 250g caster sugar
• 3 large free-range eggs
• 250g self-raising flour
• Zest of 1 lemon

For the topping: 

• 250g cream cheese
• 2-3 tbsp icing sugar (to taste)
• Lemon zest to decorate

Make it!

The paste:

1. Tip the poppyseeds into a small saucepan with the remaining paste ingredients. Stir to combine.
2. Heat gently for 15 minutes until reduced and thickened to a syrupy texture.
3. Set aside to cool.

The cakes:

1. Preheat the oven to 180C/350F/Gas Mark 4. Lightly grease the paper cupcake cases and place in a cupcake tin.
2. Cream together the butter and sugar until light and fluffy.
3. Add the eggs one at a time, with a tablespoon of flour to stop the mixture from splitting.
4. Sift in the remaining flour and fold in gently until just combined.
5. Stir in the half of the poppyseed paste (keep the rest for the frosting) and lemon zest.
6. Dollop into the paper cases, filling them 2/3 full. 
7. Bake for 20-25 minutes until golden and risen and a skewer comes out clean.
8. Place on a wire rack to cool. 

The icing:

1. Using a sharp knife, cut an inverted cone into the top of the cupcakes. (Oh no! Left over pieces of cake! *scoffs*)
2. Place the cream cheese in a bowl along with the icing sugar and beat together. 
3. Stir in the remaining poppyseed paste.
4. Use a piping bag or flat knife to frost the cakes, and decorate with a little lemon zest.