Mocktail Hour: Coconut Frappe

Two things I’m obsessed with – owls and coconut. I could quite happily live out the rest of my existence drinking coconut milk, eating Bounties and covering myself in Palmer’s.

Last week, I was on holiday with my family at Thailand's The Village Coconut Island (!), drinking coconut frappes, which made me pretty much as blissed out as it's possible for me to get.

The Village’s lovely executive chef, Lee, was kind enough to give me the recipe to share with you. Coconut is a wonderful mood-lifter for horrible grey weather like this, partly because it tastes like holidays, but mostly because it involves banging the hell out of fruit with a hammer. Hurrah!

Coconut Frappé (for 2)

• The meat & juice of two young coconuts
• 4 ounces of coconut milk
• 2 ounces of sugar syrup
• 2 small scoops of ice

Rather than faff around making sugar syrup (seriously, who has time to play with a sugar thermometer) invest in a bottle of Monin Gomme, about £5 from your local supermarket. It’s a great addition to your bar anyway, as so many cocktails need a dash of it.

I have no idea how you age a coconut, but I checked in Waitrose yesterday and it was rammed with the brown fairground variety which is good enough for me. To get the flesh and juice out without having a nervous breakdown, take a Philips screwdriver and twist it (or, you know, hammer it) into two of the indentations at one end of your coconut, and drain off the juice.

Bake the coconut at 180C for 20 minutes, then wrap the coconut in a towel, put it on a hard surface and crack open with a hammer. Snap the white interior away from the hard outer shell, and peel off the brown skin with a peeler. Phew!

Blend all ingredients together and enjoy, preferably in a warm bath with candles, music and a travel brochure. If the hammering hasn't provided sufficient distraction from the grisly, rain-fuelled catastrophe happening outside your window, add in some rum for good measure. Cheers!