Make A Little Birdhouse In Your Soul

Birds kind of rule my life. I’ll tell you for why – I am chronically superstitious. Birds are all over superstition like a rash. Here are just a few ways in which my life is affected by our feathered friends:

• I’d rather shave my own eyeballs than see a lone magpie without greeting him in the proper, bad luck-banishing manner - “Hello Mr Magpie, how’s your wife and how are your children?”. This must be said aloud, which at best makes me look (and sound) like an utter knob, and at worst has people alerting the authorities of my whereabouts. 
• Peacock feathers are unwelcome in my house, despite the fact that I love them. This means I will never own this peacock feather fan. Take a moment to absorb the gravity of this situation.
• I consider robins to be reliable weather forecasters, which has led to a number of inappropriate clothing choices.
• I am happy when a bird craps on me. That's not normal. 

So, you think this debilitating affliction has made me hate birds, don’t you? AU CONTRAIRE: I love them. I love them so much that I want to buy them all a new house to express the depth of my gratitude for their mere existence. A handmade caravan birdhouse, £38 from Strictly For The Birds on Etsy, would convey my feelings perfectly.

OOOMS' solar-panelled birdhouse charges up by day, and the perch glows by night. The theory is that the light will attract bugs to the box, providing a steady stream of night-time snacks for the bird family within. Now, that could be a load of rubbish. This might be nothing but a gimmick. I'm in love with it either way. It's £55 (plus £8 postage) from the OOOMS shop. 

Behold the robin in the teapot. This kind of chocolate box cuteness could be happening in your garden soon, for just £14.50 from the Eden Project shop (robin not included).

I long for a campervan. Until I get one, I’m happy to live vicariously through a superimposed blue tit. These are on pre-order at Firebox at £24.99, and will be in stock next month. Shortly thereafter, one will be hanging in my (communal, quite overgrown) garden. 

Urban birds haven't been forgotten in this avian extravaganza. These door number birdhouses are part of Mumbai-based designer Nishant Jethi's Living Typography project, specifically created to give the dwindling city bird population a safe place to nest. Unfortunately for us, they're not stocked in the UK yet, but if you're interested in ordering one directly from Nishant, you'll find contact details on his blog.   

Put up your new birdhouses (and give old ones a good clean) during the next couple of months. This will give your garden birds the chance to scope out where they’d like to set up home when spring arrives, plus they’ll have somewhere to shelter during the cold, snowy winter months.

Oh, and just one more thing:

You've been humming it since the start of the post. Don't deny it.