Stamps Of Excellence

I think stamping should be prescribed on the NHS. Pent-up anger? STAMP SOMETHING. Feeling stressed? STAMP, STAMP WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT. Had a crappy day? BREAK OUT THE INKS. I have a bright red ‘Confidential’ stamp on my desk, and it fills me with immense joy and a profound sense of calm and wellbeing every time I use it. Also, it means that reading my shopping lists is now prohibited under the Official Secrets Act. 

Well, that was a test, and I'm pretty sure you all FAILED. That shopping list is private! Traitors! You’re going to jail! You may as well have eaten a swan.

Anyway. My levels of stamp excitement reached unprecedented highs when I stumbled upon these cutezoid stamps from The Sewing Post on Etsy. An iron! A sewing machine! Vintage cameras! Could life get any better? As a matter of fact, it could, because guess what? They’re cheapy cheapy cheap cheap, at around £4.80 (£4.77 if we want to be precisely-precise, Etsy-style) for a set of two. Postage is £3. HAPPINESS IS PRICELESS. 

Since I first saw these Honesty Stamps by Dominic Wilcox – available from Theo at £15 each – I have been trying to calculate whether or not I cause enough trouble to justify buying a stamp that reads “I sincerely apologise for all the trouble I’ve caused”. I think I probably do.

Choose from 11 different sentiments, then send one of these to someone you love, admire, or need to apologise to – along with an ink pad (not included in the price, but let’s not quibble) – then sit back and wait for the recipient to be a) blown away (hopefully not literally) by how romantic/sincere/forgiven you are, or b) pissed off at being sent an ink stamp in lieu of heartfelt verbal communication.  

Domestic Sluttery’s unwavering love of both Pac-Man and Space Invaders is fast becoming the stuff of internet legend. Our great-great-grandchildren will look back in awe (assuming the world is still going by then), proud of these pioneering women who did everything they could to keep the fires of great '80s video games burning. 

Therefore, I’m contractually obliged to show you these superfantastico hand-carved stamps by Memi The Rainbow (you could say it’s my stamp duty. BOOM BOOM). The set of 5 Pac-Man stamps is £16, and the Space Invaders are slightly more at £19 (Understandable. Imagine trying to carve a Space Invader). They’re both available from her Etsy store, along with a whole host of other stamps, which I can’t write about here because I have to leave some space on the internet for other people. 

I want one of these letterpress necklaces. I am in love with letterpress. These are £23.50 each from Gwen Delicious on Etsy, and she's got the whole alphabet to choose from, plus a handful of punctuation marks. Many of the letters are original brass letterpress pieces, while some are silicone bronze reproductions, carefully burnished to replicate the imperfections of the real thing. The D necklace shown here is an original piece, and the S is a repro. They both look old and hardworking, but I think if I were to buy one, I'd want it to be authentic. 

Finally, do you long for a multi-tasking office gizmo that stamps and staples at the same time? Of course you do. Say hello to the Stampler, £12 from Suck UK. It's stationery, Jim, but not as we know it.