Sluttery Travels: Houseboat at St Katharine Docks, London

Living on a boat has always appealed. Mainly because the romantic silly part of me likes the idea of sailing the seas on my own house. But when it comes down to it, I like my four walls, a proper bit of plumbing in the bathroom and a front door that doesn't freeze shut in winter. So instead, I might just go and pay the Houseboat at St Katharine Docks a visit.

It's like a mansion on water.

Now this could be very clever photography trickery (you know, like sneaky estate agents use), but this bedroom looks  bigger than any hotel room I've ever stayed in. The barge is actually 42 metres long and was  used to carry coal on the Seine in the 1920s. Despite its French origins it's London's biggest houseboat (although I am still fond of the smaller On The Water).

There's a cinema suite. And a sauna. And me. I'm going to become a luxury stowaway. Just try and stop me.

Let me just remind you that this is a boat. Look at that corridor! I can't quite believe I'm excited by a corridor, but I like this one very much. And I bet it's really good for skidding in socks.

St Katharine Docks is such a gorgeous area of London - you're near trendy east London, but minutes away from the West End. I've spent many a perfect evening watching the sun set in the docks (usually with the lovely Kat who works 'round the corner). The choice of bars isn't brilliant - the area seems to attract chains rather than indy establishments, but you won't care about that...

Your boat bar is big enough for half of London.

I thought the prices for the Houseboat would be through the roof. And well, they are. For exclusive use (sleeping 10), you're looking at over a grand a night. But, you can book just one suite from £200 a night via Chic Retreats. Not really cheap as chips, but certainly not the eye watering price I was expecting. Or you could just make like Jack Sparrow and help me plot to commandeer the boat. We'll be the fanciest pirates in London.