Sluttery Sales Spy: French Connection, ASOS & Fever

Me and the sales, we're so tight this week. Jeezo, we're practically biblical. We're definitely at second base, at least. 

THE DRESSES

Moonlight Spot dress, £49 (was £62), French Connection 

So, this Moonlight Spot dress from French Connection is what I'll be wearing on my date with Professor Brian Cox. (I didn't tell you? Oh! How remiss of me.) I imagine he'll be finding constellations all over me. Ursa Minor in my armpit, Orion on my left breast, that sort of thing. SO ROMANTIC. 

Emily and Fin Lucy Sailboat dress, £40 (was £49), Oliver Bonas

ALL TOGETHER NOW: 

♫ "We are sailing, we are sailing, home again, 'cross the seeeeeeea" ♫

This Sailboat dress sets my imagination alight. I'm on a boat on Lake Maggiore, I'm on the Grand Canal, I'm speeding on a bonnie boat over the sea to Skye. I'm Rod, I'm Penny, I'm the colour of the Saltire. Goddammit, I'm Captain Birdseye. And though its lease hath all too short a date, in this dress, my eternal summer shall not fade. 

Well, we covered masses of ground there, didn't we? And all for forty quid. 

THE SKIRTS

Longline pencil skirt, £12 (was £35), ASOS

Hello, yes, aren't we all going to look like total FOXES in this pencil skirt? Not like actual foxes, you understand. Unless any particularly evolved foxes happen to be reading this - in which case, I'm not sure it comes in your size, love, but go for it! You can have it taken in. Remember to send us a picture. 

Shetland skirt in mustard, £35.99 (was £59.99), Fever

OOH. I'm still in the throes of my tweed obsession, but I'm allowed because I'm Scottish and therefore we can chalk any tweedy purchases up to patriotism. This houndstooth Shetland skirt from Fever is ever-so-pretty, and it plays to all my highland-lady-roaming-around-her-estate-looking-for-pheasants-and-quite-possibly-peasants-too fantasies. Ne'ermind that I'll be standing in a communal garden in Dundee, looking at an abandoned fridge-freezer.       

THE BAGS

Betty clutch, £23 (was £65), French Connection

Once your migraine's subsided, I'm sure you can appreciate this cheerful, sunshiney clutch in all its glory. Don't worry. I'm not going to start with all that eternal summer crap again. In fact, we're about to switch to a much darker subject matter...

Kate Sheridan bat print satchel, £42.50 (was £165), ASOS

For no particular reason, I've had a morbid fascination with rabies this week. This has led to me poring over maps of rabies-free countries and aggressively shouting "BATS!" at myself, which has garnered some funny looks on public transport. How fortuitous, then, that this Kate Sheridan bat print satchel should pop up in the ASOS sale. It's perfect for storing my maps, vaccinations, antidotes, full body armour, Bat Helpline number (Actual Thing - I've memorised it, of course, but who knows what kind of temporary amnesia a bat bite could trigger?) and Bat Glove Factsheet (Actual Thing). 

This bag is an absolute bargain right now. I have the same style in a woodland animal print - call the twee police! - and I can confirm that it's very well made. *Jewish Seamstress Heritage Face* 

THE SHOES

Kendra colour block heels in navy, £15 (was £25) and orange, £18 (was £25), Boohoo

Although I'm fearful these Boohoo shoes might be named after Kendra Wilkinson, I like them. Just to clarify, this is not some kind of bonkers mismatched pair of shoes. You don't have to wear the navy one on your right foot and the orange one on your left, but don't let me stand in your way if that's what you want to do. Individualism and all that.

Posie boots, £25 (was £69.99), Shellys

Ever since Sian wrote about Dogo's gorgeous sketchbook shoes last week, I've a) held her personally responsible for them not being made in a size 8, and b) wanted a cute wee pair of patterned lace-up ankle boots of my very own. These Posie boots from Shellys are just the ticket. Let's ignore the fact that the size 8s are sold out, and my fragile heart is breaking into a million tiny pieces.

THE HOMEWARE

LSA Ania wine glasses, £20 for four (was £30 for four), Oliver Bonas

Also breaking into a million tiny pieces, if they were allowed in my home, are these LSA wine glasses from Oliver Bonas. Alas, you can't get a mixed set of four - you have to choose one colour. I'm favouring the green. No, the pink. THE YELLOW. Oh, I don't know.

Marcel Wanders squirrel salt and pepper set, £7.60 (was £9.50), Marks & Spencer

I wrote about these Marcel Wanders salt and pepper shakers a while ago, and I'm still in love with them. Now they're in the sale, and we can all fill our homes with squirrels and diamonds. Surely the ultimate goal in life is to have a home filled with squirrels and diamonds? Well, here's your chance. Get to it. 

Who's bought what this week?