Sluttery Sales Spy: Collectif, Urban Outfitters & Joy

Purses: ASSEMBLE.

THE DRESSES

Nancy dress, £71.20 (was £89), Boden

I visited Boden with serious intent the other day. Usually I just find myself there by accident, chuckling merrily at the photos depicting a lifestyle I'll never have: a life replete with sun-kissed children, learning Mandarin, Russian, Esperanto and Makaton at school, their weekends filled with harp lessons and archery; of husbands for whom thought seems an impossibility, but anoraks are very important; and of women who wear things called towelling hoodies, whose working day consists of simply clutching their throats in awe of the brilliance of yellow pencils. 

This time was different, though; this time, I wished to buy something. I wanted me a slice of Boden life: specifically, the Nancy dress. Named after my very favourite feline (or so I imagine), this dress has made me reconsider my Boden stance, and I'm pleased I have. When you scrape beneath the catalogue-perfect surface, there are some lovely bits and bobs to be had. Plus, there's up to 40% off everything until Sunday, so that's nice. Excuse me while I tinkle my harp for a moment in appreciation. 

Lisa tartan dress, £30 (was £59.50), Collectif

Sales Spy points go to Frances this week, for alerting me to Collectif's excellent sale. I love this tartan dress, I love the model's hair and make-up, and I loathe her shoes, but as Meatloaf would say - and indeed has, at length - two out of three ain't bad.

THE LEOPARD PRINT

Leona leopard coat, £55 (was £110), Collectif

You probably won't be wearing a faux fur coat much during the day now that the weather has fractionally improved (you'll be needing a spring jacket, my dear), but for cooler evenings, or, say, October 2015 when you finally manage to get a cancellation ticket to see Benedict Cumberbatch playing Hamlet at the Barbican (I already have it all mapped out, you see: catch his eye with a flamboyant fur coat; marry him. FLAWLESS PLAN, non? Absolutely fucking foolproof), you'll need this one from Collectif. 

(You'll notice leopard print has its own category this week. I am beside myself with excitement.)

Louche Barney leopard print skirt, £20 (was £36), Joy

Joy's mid-season sale is spectacular. There is so much to choose from, but I decided to plump for this Barney skirt ONLY, which is very restrained of me, but apparently other people use the internet, too, and I can't commandeer all of it for the purpose of ranting about things from Joy. I know, it's sad. Maybe next week.

THE JEWELLERY

Horse and carriage necklace, £42 (was £60), Tatty Devine

Remember when Katie Price married Peter Andre? Tatty Devine has immortalised that beautiful day with their horse and carriage necklace, a fitting tribute to one of Britain's enduring love affaiOHWAIT.

Me & Zena spiderweb necklace, £24 (was £40), ASOS

TRIGGER WARNING: spiders.

I'm getting Charlotte's Web vibes from this Me & Zena spiderweb necklace. Perhaps it's ever-changing? One day, you'll look in the mirror to find SOME PIG scrawled across your chest. Let's hope you don't ever wake up to find Charl's magnum opus hanging there. Shudder.

Anyway, buy this necklace, save a pig. Smashing.

THE HOMEWARES

Wilderness string dispenser, £14.95 (was £24), Anthropologie

Every time I enter an Anthropologie store, I pick up this bespectacled dude and LONG and YEARN and WAIL and WOMP. £24 seemed too much for an owl that spits out string, but £14.95? Completely acceptable. HE'S WEARING SCISSOR GLASSES, GUYS. I love him even more than BENEDICT. Gasp. (There's a fox, too, but his scissors confuse me.)

Essenza Aimee double duvet set, £65 (was £90), Urban Outfitters

I can't stop seeing a face in that side table. However, we're here to look at the bed, so wrestle your eyeballs away and concentrate instead on the cross-stitch effect duvet cover and pillows of glory. Also of note in the Urban Outfitters sale: that floral turntable I bang on about at every opportunity. Everything comes to she who waits. 

How are you all and WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN BUYING?