Ten completely impractical but completely brilliant clutch bags

All the dull chat about 'normcore' dressing has sent me running - tottering, obviously, in stupidly high heels - towards fashions that are as bright, colourful and impractical as possible (see last week's post about Luna on the Moon, for example). And when it comes to impractical items of fashion, it's hard to beat the clutch bag. No room for keys, no room for money, perhaps worst of all: no room for your bloody book. But, in spite of their obvious failings, how I love them.

If I've got my heart set on ridiculous fashions, it's hard to get more ridiculous than a furry monster clutch bag. Take a look at Joanna Pybus's Etsy shop for a full range of colourful monster bags. Prices are normally around £60, but this monster baby is a limited edition and so a bit more pricey at £90. Think of it as a pet you'll never need to feed.

This colourful clutch also comes via Etsy. It's the work of Jen Cheema who makes these bags in a huge array of eye-popping shades. They're good value too, at £26 each. I spotted these over at Kingdom of Style: take a look at Queen Michelle giving a masterclass in exactly how they should be worn.

Now when I broached the subject of clear bags earlier this year, they weren't exactly warmly clutched to the Domestic Sluttery collective bosom. I'm hoping some flamingos will change your mind. Or maybe some pineapples? Both are £50 each.

For people looking for a tropical flavour who would prefer not having to reveal their tampax to the world, this half moon straw bag from Topshop is a good compromise. It's also half the price at £25.

On the pricier end of the scale, but completely fabulous, is the Bea beaded bag from LK Bennett. And it's in the sale! Yes! (Still £145.)

The Grace bags from Oasis looks equally lux and come in a range of sweetie wrapper colours. At £25 each, it's treats all round.

This canvas clutch bag is a work of art - literally. Sinead But paints each bag individually using acrylic paint and varnish. Each different colourway is also part of a limited edition. But, unlike most limited edition artworks, it is actually affordable. You can pick up one of these bags for £40 from Luna and Curious.

There's another great chocolately colour combination happening with the Benny bag from Oliver Bonas, £35. (This was almost discounted from the list because they've rather practically added a shoulder strap too.)

But we're getting towards the more practical end of the list, or at least the end of list least likely to raise eyebrows on the tube. French & English Confectioners consistently make gorgeous bags, so unsurprisingly their clutch bags are no different. I could spend a long time staring at the royal blue patent on this design. It's £51.01 of lush, from their Etsy shop.

But for a design that lives up all my true clutch bag fantasies, it's got to be this mock croc Ted Baker number that would look right in place down on the Studio 54 dance floor (I'd place my immaculately manicured nails over that rather annoying logo). It's £129 - buy one to wave triumphantly in the face of any rucksack-wearing, smug normcorers who dare to cross your path.