All I Want For Christmas: In the Family Way

Life is tough when you're up the duff. There's the stinky cheese and pate ban, the lack of booze, the stretchmarks. Need I go on? If there's a mama to be in your life, get her something from this gift guide pronto!

For the newly preggers

This luxurious body butter from the Sanctuary claims to help prevent stretchmarks by using active ingredients that boost collagen production in the skin. Ask me in three months whether it works or not! In the meantime, I can say that it's a lovely moisturiser that's great for soothing itchy stretched tummies. The rosy scent isn't bad either. It costs £10.25.

I staved off morning sickness by nibbling on Mini Cheddars. Here's a classier option - Fudges biscuits for cheese. The selection pack costs £2.99 from Waitrose.

For the burgeoning bumpista

She'll have cut down on caffeine, so rather than tea or coffee get her a canister of luxury hot chocolate from William Curley. It costs £14 from his stores in Richmond and central London.

Proper maternity clothes are universally depressing, so this pretty bolero (£98 from Anthropologie) is the perfect thing to jazz up all that stretchy black lycra. Plus she'll be able to keep wearing it after the sprog has arrived.

For the recently popped

The New Mum's Box of Indulgence from Pong Cheese is the perfect gift for a new mum. Soft cheeses like these are strictly off the menu during pregnancy, so if she's a stinky cheese lover she'll definitely thank you for this box that comes complete with Duchy originals biscuits. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT buy this for someone who is still with child. The combination of raging hormones and frustration at not being allowed to eat these gorgeous soft cheeses could result in an injury. The box is £32 and delivery costs £4.95 (it's free if you bump your order up to £50).

Or how about a dinky bottle of artisan London gin to help her back on the wagon in style? This half bottle of Sipsmith gin costs £15.75 from The Whisky Exchange.

Or if you really can't resist buying her something for the baby, how about this quirky plush monster from Culture Label? I particularly love his curly yellow chest hair. It costs £14 and has embroidered eyes that are safe for little ones.