Sluttery Travels: Swarkestone Pavilion, Derbyshire

I'm in a funny ol' mood today. I'm not in the mood to be around people, but the office is too quiet. I'm grouchy at everything and could probably do with a hug. No reason, just got out of bed the wrong side and I'm stabbing at my keyboard so hard it's going to break.

Instead of continuing my grouch, I'm dreaming of running away to faraway places, tiny places, middle of nowhere places. Like Swarkestone Pavilion in Derbyshire, where there's just enough space for two people. You can come with me if you promise hugs and tea and book reading time.

What was the Pavilion for? Could have been a number of things, although jousting or bowls on the ground outside seem to be likely possibilities. Or even bear baiting, if you want to go for the more gory option.

The Pavilion is a strange building. To get to the bathroom you have to go across the roof. It's not often you get to see stars on your trip to the loo, although I can't imagine that being much fun in the middle of a winter's night - those with weak bladders might want to avoid this place, or at least book in the summer.

If you've been having a rubbish day and fancy running off to spend a couple of nights here, then it'll cost you around £100 per person per night via the Landmark Trust. I have dreams of spending an entire year staying at their properties - each one is magical in its own special way and Swarkstone Pavilion (even with its strangely-located bathroom) is one of my favourites.