Sluttishly Funny: Paint Names To Make You Laugh

Graham & Brown, Rules The Waves

God, but I had a horrible day yesterday. It was stressful, and disappointing, and I missed the cinema because I was telling my boyfriend about it and I got upset and had a bit of a cry.

Disappointing days are just awful.

What went some way to cheering me up, was a friend offering his years of experience as an interior designer to help me choose some new paint for my hall. I am not someone that copes well with a lot of choice, so this made me incredibly happy.

After about two weeks staring at the Dulux and Farrow and Ball websites however, I've found some paint companies that feel a lot more me, and a lot more Domestic Sluttery.

Graham & Brown, Damson In Distress

I got turned on to Graham & Brown by Sian, who adores their Dorian Gray (what a name!) They've got lots of colours inspired by Britain, like Stiff Upper Lip and Nice Cup of Tea. I'm getting increasingly fond of Rules The Waves, pictured up top.

A company down the road from me, Colour Makes People Happy in East Dulwich, had me falling head over heels for their Cannon Et Ball paints after I read about them on Home Shopping Spy last summer. They have another range called Siecle, which has similarly brilliant, if less exotic names - Red Stewart and Unfinished Wall  are particular favourites.

Cannon Et Ball paints from Colour Makes People Happy

But Cannon Et Ball's colours simply make my heart soar. How can you not love this pink, A colour to make me think a little about London? Or this lovely green: Polka music, mercifully interrupted at frequent intervals by a German disc jockey?

My absolute favourite colour, if not name (in my family it's always Grandma) is The most important colour of all: Hair of Nan. I might have found my perfect blue! Five litres of wall paint are £56.

Like yours truly, Mylands of London is based in Lambeth, south London. It's a family-owned business that's been making paint since the 19th century, and it specialises in paints for TV and film - Harry Potter, X-Men, Batman, all painted in Mylands colours (and all beloved by me!)

But what I LOVE is that they have an entire range of paint colours inspired by London! I love Lambeth Walk, a beautiful old light blue, and Arts Club, which, having got exceedingly drunk there on more than one occasions, I can tell you totally deserves its debauched deep red. (from £50.40 for 5 litres)