Advice for Pets: Ink and Sword

ATTENTION ALL PETS. For too long, you've been snoring, lying around, and making ridiculous faces. It's high time you pulled your imaginary socks up with your non-existent thumbs, and bucked up your ideas.

Thankfully, illustration and design team Ink and Sword have designed a series of retro-inspired prints to teach your pets right from wrong. You may have to read them out to your cat or dog, mind. And mount them on the wall yourself. Lazy, lazy pets.

Public Service Announcement No. 1: protect useful birds by keeping your cat indoors at night. I love the simple, blocky style of these prints. Poor cat, forced to stay inside and be taunted by some overfed robins.

I hope everyone's done this already: spay or neuter for a happier cat. Look at the innocent love of this pair! They'd be more likely to be having a fight or chasing birds, but the sentiment is sweet.

Reason #4366 why I don't have a dog: apparently you have to brush their teeth. What a palaver.

Reason #4367 why I don't have a dog: you have to walk them. Every single day, apparently. The colours and stylings of this are just perfect, especially that swoosh on the word 'leash'. Also, check out the dog's ears. Awww.

Here is my cat Swinton wondering if they Don't Overfeed: Guard Feline Health print is a passive-aggressive dig at her. She needs to lose a kilo so yes, sadly it is. Look at her! Those hips don't lie.

Each print is £15 from Bouf. They're pleasingly big at 11 x 14 inches, are printed on heavyweight paper and carefully packaged so your pet can't rip the envelope to pieces as it comes through your door.