Sluttery Sales Spy: People Tree, Sugarhill Boutique & French Connection

Welcome to the 2014 Winter Sales Olympics Opening Ceremony.

*fireworks*

*dangerous face water*

*framed photo of Vladimir Putin for every reader*

THE DRESSES

French Connection print dress, £38 (was £62), ASOS

GOOD LORD. If you phoned me up and described this dress to me, I would first of all ask you how you got my number, and then I would tell you that the dress sounds VILE. Teachable moment: never judge a dress by the description given by a stranger on the phone. Because whaddya know, I ADORE IT.

Dove shirt dress, £51 (was £85), People Tree

Ah, a dress covered in doves of peace. We could do with more peace in the world. *steps down from beauty pageant podium, adjusts crown* The avian-minded among you (I don't mean bird-brained, I promise) will remember the actually quite distressing story of last Sunday (TRIGGER WARNING: bird violence), when the Pope and a couple of happy kids chucked two peace doves out of a Vatican window, only to see them savagely attacked by a crow and a seagull. It made me sad. This dove shirt dress from People Tree might cheer me up.

THE KNITWEAR

Owly sweater, £28 (was £46), Sugarhill Boutique

I've just finished Life After Life by Kate Atkinson. In it, the protagonist makes several references to her father's growlery. I had never heard the word before and was delighted to discover that it means 'a place to retreat to, alone, when ill-humoured'. Stop me if you already know all this. Anyway, I'd very much like a growlery. My growlery would also be an owlery, for reasons of both mood enhancement and lexical brilliance. 

tl;dr: this jumper has owls on it. 

BDG Fair Isle jumper, £20 (was £42), Urban Outfitters

This is a lovely Fair Isle jumper. Those are the most terrifyingly hideous jeans my retinal ganglion cells have ever had the misfortune to communicate with my photoreceptors about.  

THE SHOES

London Rebel Barnaby brogues, £30 (was £45), ASOS

While I was trying to write this bit, my computer froze for a good 45 minutes, presumably while it fell over in awe of the beauty of these London Rebel silver brogues, found its credit card, bought them, and then cursed itself for forgetting it doesn't have feet. 

Luckily for me, the computer thought its fantasy feet were a size 8, so I'll be able to help out and take the brogues off its hands.

OH. It doesn't have hands either.

Hunter check wellies, £90 (was £135), Office

If you are a country type, may I suggest you buy these check Hunter wellies from Office? Aren't they super? If you are a town type who sometimes walks their dog in a field, I will permit you to buy them also. If you are a city type over the age of 7, I'm afraid that I cannot condone the wearing of wellies in an urban environment, unless you work at a zoo. Go and buy those silver brogues instead. Shoo. And if you are 7 or under, well, I feel I must warn you that sometimes we tackle adult content here in the Sales Spy, and also we often use rude words like 'ganglion' and 'growlery'.

THE GADGETRY

Lomography Diana Mini camera, £25 (was £55), Urban Outfitters

I've wanted a Lomography camera for ages. This little one is particularly cute because GLITTER! It's the Liberace of the camera world. I'm not even going to think about wear and tear, the constant pesky bits of glitter all over your face, the fact that it'll snag your delicate dresses. Nope. Go away, thoughts! TRA-LA-LAAAAAA.

Urbanears Plattan Pendleton headphones, £60 (was £80), Urban Outfitters

I have some Urbanears headphones. Mine are Harris Tweed and I love them. These are a special Pendleton edition, and they're woolly and wonderful, and inspired by the Native American blankets the company has been weaving since 1909. Plus they do actually make tunes sound good. Well, not tunes that already sound awful. Like that stupid song about trumpets. Or anything by Avicii. They're not magical unicorn headphones. 

Bought owt nice this week?