Sluttishly Sweet: Cor-Blimey Crumble

Crumble is dead simple and the perfect treat now the nights are drawing in. Serve with piping hot custard or cool single cream.

Preferably to be consumed beside a roaring fire.

Potentially with a rather dashing companion.

Almost certainly with a large brandy.

You'll need:

• Four large apples (whatever variety tickles your fancy)
• 50g sultanas
• Teaspoon of cinnamon
• Very small pinch of paprika
• Half a teaspoon of ginger
• Half a dozen ripe plums
• 4 tablespoons of water
• 8 tablespoons of caster sugar
• 4oz soft butter
• 4oz demerara sugar
• 2oz crushed cashew nuts
• 6oz plain flour
• 2 tablespoons of runny honey

Make it!

• Boil some slightly sugared water in a pan and pre-heat your oven to 200 degrees C. You can contemplate whether you can bear to spend Christmas with your duller-than-dishwater in-laws just to please your partner whilst you do this, if you like.
• Peel and core your apples and slice into quarters then half again.
• De-stone the plums and slice into quarters.
• Put the apples into the water and boil for about 5 minutes until they have started to soften.
• Transfer the apples into a stoneware oven-proof dish. Add the plums, sprinkle over the water and then sugar and evenly sprinkle with cinnamon.
• Pop the dish into the oven and cook for about 10 minutes.
• Whilst the fruit is cooking, blend the flour, sugar and butter together to create soft breadcrumbs.
• Remove the fruit from the oven, sprinkle over the paprika and ginger, and evenly spread the breadcrumbs over the top, then sprinkle the cashew nuts over the top and drizzle with honey. Spend some time pressing the crumbs into place before adding the honey if you like a softer crumble or leave loose if you prefer a crunchier top.
• Return to the oven, turn it down to 180 degrees and cook for a further 30 minutes. Your breadcrumbs should be golden brown.