Sluttery Sales Spy: Irregular Choice, Ted Baker & Traffic People

Secret Agent Slut reporting for duty. Intelligence has reached me that there are amazing sales bargains to be had today. I would tell you about them, but I'd have to kill you.

Oh, go on then. Just this once.

THE DRESSES

Swallows & Amazons silk peplum dress, £57 (was £115), Traffic People

I think this girl might be auditioning for Tippi Hedren's part in The Birds. She's adopting the classic "Not my face! Don't peck my eyes!" pose. Just out of shot: an angry peacock. 

In shot: heartbeat-skippingly delicious 100% silk dress from Traffic People. The print? Swallows. BIRDS. Coincidence? I think not. They didn't just throw this shoot concept together, you know. 

Louche Raina shirt dress, £30 (was £49), Joy

I love this Raina shirt dress from Joy. Part librarian, part diner, part just-parked-my-Lambretta-over-there-under-that-tree, it's ticking all my frock boxes. 

Epella dress, £79 (was £149), Ted Baker

Cor, the folks at Ted Baker sure know how to do patterns and prints, don't they? This Epella dress is covered in trapeze artists, dancers, Penny Farthings and children frolicking. There's even a dog playing with a ball. It's smiles, frockified. 

THE BAGS

Twit Twoo clutch, £20 (was £50), Irregular Choice

Why does this owl clutch look so sad and lonely? Because the other owl clutches didn't have twit twoo her.

BOOM BOOM.

The Leather Satchel Company 11" satchel in mint, £70 (was £111), ASOS

I've had my heart set on a yellow satchel for quite some time now, but this mint number from ASOS might have just changed my mind. Yup, free mind control with every bag. Derren Brown is actually hidden inside.

London small zip bag, £18 (was £24), Cath Kidston

Cath Kidston's waterproof, zippable bags, like this London design, are extremely useful for those among us who do silly things like running for buses in the rain, slipping while getting on said bus, getting their over-stuffed overnight bag caught on a parked wheelchair, and ending up depositing slightly damp knickers and a box of tampons all over their fellow passengers.

Happened to a friend of mine. *cough*

THE SHOES 

Love Bug shoes, £39.50 (was £89.99), Irregular Choice

I love me a bit of gingham, particularly on a shoe (preferably two shoes, but you know, beggars can't be choosers). Ruffles, bows, flowers, polka dots, gingham, green, pink, and gold snakeskin shouldn't work, but this is Irregular Choice, so of course it does. Gimme.

Penny heeled loafers, £30 (was £66.99), Shellys

These Penny loafers from Shellys look a) comfy and b) like a starry night. Thank your lucky stars that I don't deliver Sluttery Sales Spy by video, because right now I'm singing Don McLean's Vincent (Starry, Starry Night) very badly - it's one of my worst songs on SingStar, and 'worst' is already quite a competitive category. I'm also wearing a fleece onesie adorned with lovehearts. It would be sensory overload for you guys. 

These are also available in a floral or houndstooth print (Where Have All The Flowers Gone? and Hound Dog, since you're asking.)

Fresh Cut Grass shoes, £39.50 (was £84.99), Irregular Choice

Gosh, I think there might be more birds in this week's post than there are in the skies and supermarkets of Britain (I love it when a bird comes into the supermarket and flies around the aisles, happy as a lark - sometimes literally - and gets all the shoppers into a tizzy before merrily swooping outside again). Get some happy tweet on your happy feet with these adorable Fresh Cut Grass heels from Irregular Choice.