Sluttery Sales Spy: People Tree, Irregular Choice & ASOS

So sale. Such smile. Many shopping. Much wow. Woof. 

THE DRESSES

Sister Jane Monet dress, £54 (was £72), ASOS

This might be called the Monet dress, but there's no way it's going to turn you into a full-on Monet (© Cher Horowitz 1995) - "From far away, it's OK, but up close, it's a big old mess". As if! Nope - you'll be a total Betty wearing it. And your buns, they might feel nothing like steel, but at least you're not a virgin who can't drive, right?

Whatever.

Josie square print dress, £50.40 (was £80), People Tree

Let's take a moment to appreciate just how LOVELY this model is, and how stoic she is despite the fact she has a very short man (is it Clark Gable?) with a very large, colourless face photobombing her. Also splendid: her bright red dress, adorned with square dots. Get it in navy, too, if that's more your bag. Free giant-faced colourless man may vary.

THE JEWELLERY

Envy Bell earrings, £7 (was £18), ASOS

Ding-dong! Hark, the bell doth toll to signify the start of BEWS, or Bell Earring Wearing Season to the uninitiated. What better way to ring in the season than by donning these Envy Bell earrings from ASOS and jingle-jangling around, causing jealousy and minor irritation everywhere you go? There is no better way. The fact they look a little bit like bejewelled jellyfish can only be regarded as a bonus.

Daphne Olive basketweave hoops, £31.68 (was £40.92), Fab

Daphne Olive's sweet basketweave hoops are inspired by her love of knitting and crocheting with her grandmother as a child. I ADORE them, however I am already filled with a sense of impending earlobe doom, an inevitable by-product of Clumsy Woman + Hoop Earrings. I might just take a risk and give them a go. Who needs earlobes anyway? They're like the flappy appendix of the ear.

THE SKIRTS

Liquorish printed skirt, £28 (was £50), ASOS

Another week, another collection of chevrons. Last week's were showy-offy, zig-zaggy affairs; this week's are so pointy, they might pierce through the screen at any moment and BITE us. I also like that when you squint at this Liquorish skirt, it could be a lot of mountains with a glorious sunset behind them. It could be. If you've had three glasses of wine too many.

Lucy skirt, £36.54 (was £58), People Tree

This Lucy skirt from People Tree is actually described as a bell skirt, but I thought we'd had quite enough bell references for one Sales Spy. Things you should know about the Lucy skirt: the pattern is mega-pretty up close, it's reduced to £36.54 (v. precise), and it has POCKETS. You know we all love a skirt with pockets.

THE SHOES

Gold Medal Night brogues, £56.50 (was £79.99), Irregular Choice

Kat's put me in the mood for colourful shoes to brighten our grey old days. These Gold Medal Night brogues from the ever-excellent Irregular Choice outlet store combine a few of my favourite things: bright red; dark red; cream-coloured ponies and crisp apple streudels; gold bits; laces; wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings; glitter; Dorothy and Toto references; and general fabulosity. Perfect.

London Rebel pointed flat, £25 (was £40), ASOS

Zing! The chunky ankle strap on these London Rebel shoes upgrades them from quite normal, prettily-coloured pointy flats to SUPER-DUPER prettily-coloured pointy flats. They are described as being 'with stripe', although I am yet to find it.

What have you been buying this week?