Sluttery Sales Spy: Yumi, Aldo & Anthropologie

This day in 1974, in the suburbs of London, two cats called Mary and George White welcomed a kitten. They named her Hello.

Yes, it's Hello Kitty's 39th birthday today, and to celebrate, I suggest we do some sales shopping.

THE DRESSES

Lace shirt dress, £25 (was £55), Oasis

Isn't this colour precious? So autumnal. And - like Sara - I do enjoy a bit of lace during times of meteorological transition (second Sales Spy shout-out to Sara in as many weeks - she's fast becoming the new Hilary Devey and Derren Brown). Anyway - back to this lacy shirt dress from Oasis. It's got £30 knocked off it! That's all you need to know, really.

Yumi duck print dress, £28 (was £45), ASOS

QUACK. Join my campaign to make ducks the Official Creature of 2014. I will start a group, and I will call it Duck Official, or Duck Off for short. I think you can see where I'm going with this. IT RHYMES WITH FUCK OFF! That's what the ducks are saying to the other creatures! We'll have a hashtag and everything.

Anyway, we also have a uniform, and it is this duck print dress by Yumi. Accessorise with a duck-pout.

THE COATS

Skater coat, £49 (was £70), ASOS

Haven't bought your winter coat yet? Well, aren't you clever, because a nice wee 30% off cold weather clothes thing is happening at ASOS, and there are coats involved. Like this one, which you may have noticed is red, and therefore highly desirable. Also it goes nippy-in and swooshy-swoosh, which is pleasing, and it has poppers, which combines ease-of-fastening-when-using-freezing-hands technology, and a reminder of how good things with poppers are.

Camel and check duffel, £59.50 (was £85), ASOS

I love a duffel coat. Also I love camel-coloured coats, and anything tartan. So woo-woo, then, to this camel-coloured, tartan-trimmed duffel coat from ASOS. A similar style is available in navy in the ASOS Curve range, at the same price, and very nice it is too. I assume the model is tugging at the collar in that manner to show us the trim, and not because a design flaw means she's choking to death.

So, I almost bought this, but then I bought a tartan-trim cape instead, for which I'm blaming/thanking Sian because she made me realise that I need another cape in my life.

THE SKIRTS

Striped pencil skirt, £31.50 (was £45), ASOS

I like this pencil skirt because it reminds me of those yellow, black and red Witney rugs that horses get to wear. This is obviously running low on yellow, but the essence is still here: stripes, seems quite thick and warm, wouldn't look out of place in a stable.

Floral swing skirt, £34.95 (was £98), Anthropologie

As always, the Anthropologie comments section doesn't disappoint. One woman, having awarded this floral swing skirt 5 stars across the board, then goes on to say, "It just reminds me too much of the skirts my mother-in-law wears, and she's 75!". WELL! Mixed messages there. All I can say is, her mother-in-law is very stylish. Well done, that woman. And don't read the comments, lady, cos your daughter-in-law is wrong. Come over here instead. We'll keep you safe. We like your clothes. We think you're FABULOUS.

THE SHOES

Red or Dead Lindy Hop heels, £44.99 (was £68), Schuh

Dorothy: "Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore, and my ruby slippers appear to be gold!"

Toto: "Never mind, Dorothy, they're pretty snazzy nonetheless. And just FYI, they're actually described as peach on the Schuh website."

Dorothy: "Toto! What's a website?!"

Toto: "Just this cool thing where you click a mouse instead of your heels."

Dorothy: "Don't be silly, Toto."

Toto: "Woof."

Zimove heels, £54.98 (was £80), Aldo

SWOONARAMA. I used to dislike shoes like this, and then I woke up one day and I really wanted a pair. These Zimove - I like the way zee Zimoves move - heels from Aldo are most excellent. They're also available in black, but they're not half as good.

Bought anything nice this week, chickadees?