Sluttery Sales Spy: Joy, Vivienne Westwood & Accessorize

She who shops on a Friday gets all the great stuff.
Ancient Laurian proverb.

THE DRESSES

Louche Rocio dress, £30 (was £55), Joy

I'm liking my florals bold and painterly at the mo. This Rocio dress from Joy is the frock equivalent of a Victorian oil painting that the art expert on the Antiques Roadshow claims would be worth £16,250 if it had been locked in a cupboard since 1893, but unfortunately it hasn't been and is therefore worth a measly £60. In the background, a woman in Crimplene trousers tuts, and a man in an anorak sadly rustles his Tesco bag.

Contrast lace skater dress, £21 (was £35), ASOS

If you promise to come straight back, I will permit you to go and have a look at the back of this ASOS skater dress, which is lovely and lacy, just like the sleeves. It's also available in cream and black, but that's a little severe for my liking, not to mention the fact that I'd bankrupt myself buying the necessary quantities of Vanish required to keep it clean (I am a clumsy eater, okay? It's because I am CREATIVE. *Flounce*).

THE SHOES

Vivienne Westwood Lady Dragon shoes, £65 (was £130), my-wardrobe.com

OH MY GOD, I LOVE THESE SHOES. If we can all just put sweaty feet to the backs of our minds for a moment, and focus on them being a bit like the jelly sandals of our youth, we can concentrate fully on their magnificent glory: 1) They're VIVIENNE WESTWOOD. 2) They have glittery bits in them. 3) Half price! 4) You can pretend you're a hardcore Atlas type, not satisfied with carrying heaven and earth/the celestial sphere/whatever on your shoulders, oh no. You'll be all, "Check me out with the world on my toes! In fact, hand me another planet! One just isn't enough! Sod Heracles and all that palaver with the apples! DUDE. This is EASY. Pass the taramasalata, there's a love."

Lush ballet flats, £16.50 (was £28), ASOS

Moving swiftly on from Ancient Greece, ASOS has made these spectacular shoes. I adore the combination of yellow, pink and grey, and the suede ankle strap means that I can run for the bus and not suddenly end up barefoot and sobbing.

THE BAGS

Liquorish multi satchel, £30 (was £50), ASOS

I'm not sure I'll ever have too many satchels. We can file this Liquorish bag from ASOS under MASSIVELY PRACTICAL, thanks to its versatile mix of neutral and bright colours, shoulder strap, and spacious pockety interior. And oh look, it's massively practically fallen into my shopping basket.

Latimer quilted lady bag, £18 (was £60), Accessorize

Oh! A quilted lady bag! Made from the finest quilted ladies, no doubt. I'm not really one for a lot of chains, clips, and dangly bits on my bags - it all starts to look a bit Fifty Shades of Neigh - but I do love the chevron quilting and the gorgeous tan colour. Tan goes with everything, doesn't it? Just ask Katie Price.

THE JEWELLERY

Turntable ring by plastique*, £10 (was £15), Fab

How nice. Someone has made a tiny turntable for your pet bee to spin his records on. 

Probably his Bee Gees records. WAHEY!

Marc by Marc Jacobs oiseau d'amour ring, £30 (was £60), my-wardrobe.com

Well, tweet tweet, little fellow! Shiny! This Marc by Marc Jacobs lovebird's got a mischievous glint in his eye, just in time for Valentine's Day. Let him into your heart. He wants you to want him. He needs you to need him. He'd love you to love him.

CUE CHEAP TRICK:

Anyone nabbed any amazing bargains this week?