Sluttery Sales Spy: Office, Joy & New Look

Payday is close, yet far away. The good news is, we can still buy loads of stuff, because I've been raking around the virtual sales rails, gathering bargains hither and tither. I even refrained from buying them all before you had a chance to get your purses out. I am good that way. Always giving. 

THE DRESSES

Blanket print smock dress, £19.50 (was £28), ASOS

There are days, cold and unforgiving, when I wonder if it would be socially acceptable to wear my blanket as a dress. I've yet to succumb to the lure of blanketular dressing, but this smock dress from ASOS is the next best thing. I can't vouch for its cosiness, but just looking at that cheery granny-patchwork print will warm the cockles of your heart. That warmth will then radiate outwards, rendering you The Warmest Person. Look at this dress as £19.50 off your heating bills, every time you wear it.

Louche Bechet midi dress, £50 (was £79), Joy

Well, hello. Could this Bechet dress from Joy be any prettier? It's been an object of lust since Sian wrote about it back in May. Basically, it's the finest pistachio gelato, sprinkled with the crystallised tears of angels. I love the slim gold belt, too. Pistachio-gelato-with-angel-tear-topping me up, please.

THE BAGS

Cut-out handbag, £17.50 (was £22), ASOS

I'd never really been into this shape of bag UNTIL Frances wrote about Brit-Stitch's half pint bag and then suddenly I too wanted to store my stuff in a little gibbous moon. This cut-out handbag from ASOS is a gorgeous pick-me-up shade of blue, and the perfect size for exciting mini-adventures.

Dune Laura bag, £45 (was £65), ASOS

"SHE'S A RIGHT BAG, THAT LAURA." Why yes, yes I am - I am the LAURA BAG. Here I am in the photo opening my mouth and ROARING at you in all my shiny, sophisticated glory. Sophisticatedly roaring, you understand.

THE SHOES

Shellys Kika pumps, £32 (was £64.99), New Look

I LOVE THESE. I could live without the bow, actually - bit superfluous to requirements - but its not a deal breaker. I want bejewelled feet right now.

H by Hudson Horringan boots, £95 (was £145), Office

Dark green suede brings out my inner Robin Hood. Really, if you think about it, I am a sort of Sales Spy Robin Hood. I steal from those rich fashion brands to help you stock your poor, needy wardrobes. I use a bow and arrow and everything. I'll admit I've failed a little bit here, showing you these H by Hudson boots, because they're £95, but even outlaws have to suggest investment buys sometimes. Me and the Merry Men are all getting a pair to wear down the forest tonight.  

NOTE TO THE POLICE: I don't actually steal the things. 

FOLLOW-UP NOTE TO THE POLICE: There is no bow and arrow. 

FURTHER NOTE TO THE POLICE: I won't be carrying on in any forests tonight.

THE JEWELLERY

Me & Zena Less More earrings, £16 (was £23) and Rich Poor earrings, £17.50 (was £25), ASOS

And that leads us nicely to Me & Zena's Rich Poor earrings. Aren't they splendid? Also splendid: their Less More earrings. I'm into this mismatched earring thing. I like OPTIONS.

Designhype Paris Metro cuff, £14 (was £23.68), Fab

We already love Designhype's underground map cuffs. This Paris metro one is just £14, and will make you feel all French and fancy. Like a giant French Fancy. Yum. Don't mistakenly eat yourself.

SILLIEST THING ON ASOS OF THE WEEK

Nose or ear cuff, £3.50 (was £5), ASOS

Anne Hathaway here, recreating Jodie Foster's Silence of the Lambs moth face with a RIDICULOUS jabby, pointy thing up her nose. I mean, WHAT even is it? How would one eat? Kiss? Be taken seriously ever again?

Anyway. 

What have you been buying this week? Did you miss me last week? Did you even notice I wasn't here? 

*sob*

*wail*

*sniff*