Sluttishly Savoury: A Cheat's Guide to Honey Mustard Pork

I love meat. And I love roasting meat. It's so easy and delicious and you can feel all smug about making an awesome meal with hardly any effort - the perfect Sluttery meal. However, if your kids don't eat pork and you haven't got the whole world and his mum coming for dinner, a roast dinner can produce a fair bit of wastage. Or very distended stomachs. Both of which are simply no good. So, rather than buying a big enormous joint, you can get around the problems of a big roast with a small piece of meat.

Now, the problem with a little wee piece of pork is that it's really hard to get that crackling thing going on without ending up with a dry-as-hell piece of meat. You need your pork to be cooked-through but still juicy, and cooking for long enough to get really great crackling just isn't an option when you're cooking for two. In order to avoid this problem ... you cheat!

You'll need:

• 1lb pork loin (this will feed two greedy guts)
• Five tablespoons of runny honey
• 1 tablespoon of dijon mustard
• One large onion
• Two carrots
• Three sticks of celery
• Olive oil
• Rock salt

Make it!

• First thing's first - preheat your oven to 200C. You can, as is becoming customary with my posts, daydream about a sexy colleague, consider your next exorbitant handbag purchase or imagine what it would be like to win the lottery whilst you do this, if you like.
• Cheat crackling is achieved with a hot pan and a little olive oil. Salt your meat and simply place the loin fat-side down in the hot pan and sizzle until you've got some decent crackling-style crispiness going on. Quickly seal the rest of the meat and remove from the pan.
• Combine the honey and mustard along with some cracked black pepper and smear 3/4 of the mixture all over the loin.
• Pop your meat into a roasting tin along with some diced carrot, onion and celery, and a smidge of hot water.
• Roast your joint for 40 minutes - after 30 minutes remove from the oven, cover with the rest of the honey-mustard mix and return to the oven, reducing the temperature to 180C for the last ten minutes.
• Once out of the oven let the meat sit for 10 minutes whilst you make some unutterably delicious gravy.