Sluttery Sales Spy: Ollie and Nic, Vero Moda & Biba

WHADDYA MEAN THERE ARE NO ANIMALS IN TODAY'S SALES SPY?

*Gasp*

THE DRESSES

Emily & Fin midi dress, £40 (was £80), ASOS

SWISH! SWOOSH! This Emily & Fin dress was made for twirling. Don't get dizzy, now. THUNK. 

Fleur's Autumn Bloom dress, £69.95 (was £138), Anthropologie

Gosh. Last week I was encouraging you all to buy Fleur's hydrangea dress, and now Anthropologie is flogging her Autumn Bloom dress, too. Poor lassie's going to be naked by the end of all this. 

Next week: Fleur's bungalow, Fleur's boyfriend, Fleur's cat, and Fleur's Volkswagen Golf.

Vero Moda 2-in-1 dress, £28 (was £50), ASOS

Vero Moda is woefully underselling this dress. 2-in-1? A trillion-in-1, more like! Let's count 'em: 

1. A collar
2. Sleeves
3. A belt
4. Buttons
5. Pretty pattern
6. POCKETS

Yeah, so sticklers for sums will no doubt be screaming to point out that there's six things there, rather than a trillion, but to them I say only this: no-one likes a pedant.

THE BAGS

Johnny Loves Rosie Hole Punched bag, £55 (was £95), ASOS

Oh, hello Perfection. I've been expecting you. Johnny, or maybe Rosie, has been having fun with the office hole punch, and to what magnificent effect! Luckily it's lined, so your pens won't fall out. 

Harper bag, £30 (was £65), Ollie & Nic

Ah, at last - a handbag named after Victoria and David's only daughter.

Biba beaded clutch, £60.84 (was £169), House of Fraser

Sometimes I'm a bit scared of all-encompassing beading, but I'm into this Biba clutch. No, not inside it. INTO IT.

THE HOMEWARE

I Love Retro Cloud For Sale print, £29.95 (was £39.95), Bouf

I can't decide whether this print is heart-warming or heart-breaking. Why is this person selling their cloud? Have they given up on life? Is the silver lining faulty in some way? Should we view it before buying? Has it passed its MOC (Ministry of Clouds) test? Can anyone get Steven Spielberg on the phone?*

* Don't worry too much about why we're trying to get Steven Spielberg on the phone. Much like Derren and Hilary before him**, Steven has become my new leitmotif. Loyal readers will have already observed this, and chuckled knowingly. Or, you know, just moved on to the next picture.

** They'll be back, don't panic.

Whatever banner kit, £4.50 (was £6.50), V&A Shop

We all know what happens when bunting goes bad, and it's a very joyous thing indeed. Create your own touching obscene wall hangings with this Whatever banner kit from the V&A shop. They suggest spelling out someone's name; I suggest spelling out FUCK OFF. Or DICKWAD. Which I suppose could qualify as someone's name.

welovekaoru green stripe breakfast plate, £8 (was £20), yellow stripe teacup and saucer,  £15 (was £26), blue stripe teapot, £25 (was £55), and red stripe milk jug, £18 (not on offer), V&A Shop

We wrote about welovekaoru's gloriously stripy breakfast set last year, and lo and behold, here it is looking a helluva lot more affordable. Not to mention a helluva pretty. Actually, let's mention that. THEY'RE SO PRETTY.

Has anyone bought anything amazing this week? If so, I think I deserve to know.