Let Her Eat Cake: 'Fish Finger' & Custard Trifle

Whovians, assemble! If you're not a fan of Doctor Who, then this is going to confuse the heck out of you. Fish fingers? Custard? WHAT? Where am I? Who's that man in the bow tie?

However, staunch Doctor Who lovers will know that Eleven's favourite food is fish fingers and custard!



Since we wouldn't recommend serving up that actual combination, here's an alternative. Get dunking! Sponge fingers are notoriously tricksy buggers to get right, but here's a recipe anyway. Honestly, you want more time watching Dr Who re-runs, so buying a packet is probably easier.

Fish Fingers and Custard Trifle

You will need:

For the sponge fingers:

• 1 packet sponge fingers OR:
• 4 free-range eggs, separated
• 150g caster sugar
• 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
• 100g self-raising flour

For the topping and custard:

• 2 tbsp apricot jam
• 50g ground almonds
• 50g ginger biscuits, crushed
• 500ml fresh custard (or custard powder, prepared as per the instructions)
• 2 tbsp icing sugar
• 300ml double cream

Make it!

The sponge fingers:

1. First, find a dalek to do the whisking. They have that whisk-arm thing: it's for baking, right? Then, in a clean bowl, beat the egg whites on a high speed until soft peaks start to form. 
2. Add 2 tablespoons of the caster sugar, and continue to whisk until stiff and shiny. 
3. In another bowl, beat together the egg yolks, remaining sugar and vanilla until thick and pale in colour. 
4. Spoon half the egg whites into the yolks and fold in gently.
5. Sift in the flour, followed by the remaining egg whites. 
6. Cover the bowl and chill in the fridge for at least an hour. 
7. Preheat the oven to 200C / 400F / Gas Mark 6. Line two large, flat baking trays with baking parchment. Prepare a large piping bag with a round nozzle. (Or you could just cut the corner off a disposable one).
8. Spoon into the piping bag, and pipe onto the prepared trays, in 1 inch wide by 3 inch long strips, leaving plenty of room in between each one for spread.
9. Bake for 8 minutes, until risen. Watch out for the edges browning. 
10. Turn onto a wire rack to cool.

The topping:

1. Tip the ground almonds into a dry frying pan, and toast gently over the heat for 2-5 minutes. Watch out, because they'll catch and start to burn faster than Gallifrey at the end of the Time War. (Oooh, too soon?)
2. Tip into a bowl to cool. 
3. Place the ginger biscuits into a zip-lock bag and hit with something solid, like a rolling pin or a Cyberman's head, until crushed into fine crumbs. 
4. Mix together with the ground almonds.
5. Dilute the apricot jam with a splash of hot water to make it easier to spread.
6. Cut your sponge fingers (whether pre-made or baked) into rectangles. Brush with apricot jam on all sides, then roll them in the almond and ginger mixture until well covered. 
7. Add the icing sugar to the double cream and whip until stiff. 
8. To assemble: place a layer of sponge fingers in the bottom of your chosen receptacle, followed by a layer of custard, then cream. Repeat with as many layers as you like, but make sure you leave the top cream free, so that you can float a few fish fingers upon the surface. 
9. Dip them in the custard and eat with relish, much to the disgust of unknowing people around you. 
10. Send the dalek off to do the washing up and unblock the sink with his plunger thing.