Sluttery Sales Spy: H&M, Urban Outfitters & ASOS

It's time for some sluttishly stupendous bargains, kiddos! Alas, I haven't had any roasted baby hedgehog dreams this week. I can only apologise. 

THE DRESS

Aztec dress in rust, £37 (was £52), Sugarhill Boutique

STAR BUY! Sugarhill Boutique has mucho stuffo I would prefer to be hanging in my wardrobe rather than cluttering up their store room. If I had to pick just one must-have item in their sale, it would be this Aztec dress. I love the colour, the shape, the sleeves, the detailing round the neck... and at £37, I really love the price. 

Oasis fox print dress, £44 (was £55), House of Fraser

BEST OF THE REST: OOH. This Oasis fox print dress sure is foxy, front and back. It would be almost gynaecologically-short on me, but if you're of a more petite persuasion, get thee to House of Fraser, which is having a fun little flash sale until tonight. Up to 25% off all their brands, mes cheries! 

Louche Uma lace shirt dress, £40 (was £59), Joy

Oh, you're pretty, Louche Uma dress from Joy. Just the right side of prim and proper, and a colour to die for (Joy describes it as nude, but I think I'd plump for pale mushroom). I approve. 

THE SKIRT

Sequin midi skirt, £20 (was £70), Long Tall Sally

STAR BUY! Kat featured this super-swishy sequinned skirt from Long Tall Sally ages ago, and behold! Here it is reduced to £20! So if you're a size 12, quite tall, and believe that sequins are one of life's cure-alls, I give you permission to be dismissed from this post to go and buy it (you're only momentarily dismissed, mind - you've got ten minutes to get back here before I give you a punny ecky).

Full skirt with neon embroidery, £13.50 (was £45), ASOS

BEST OF THE REST: If you were to say to me 'neon embroidery', I would have only this to say to you: 'SHOW-ME-IT-I-WANT-IT-GIVE-IT-TO-ME-NOW'. I spent much of my four years at art school adding neon pink manes and tails to embroidered horses. (It all made sense in context, dahlings. It's art, innit?) So when the ASOS sale section steered me in the direction of this embroidered midi skirt, I may have let out a teeny-tiny whoop. £13.50! Sometimes buying your lunch from M&S can cost more than that! When you're really hungry. Ahem. 

Vero Moda melon print skirt, £10 (was £25), ASOS

Melons! Pockets! Cheerfulness and joy! All for a tenner! Gold stars and a smiley face sticker to ASOS!

THE SHOES

Skull embellished shoes in grey, £12.99 (was £17.99), H&M

STAR BUY! A while ago, Zara had a brilliant pair of shoes with skull studs all over them. I really wanted them. So, it seems, did everyone else, because they sold out in about a nanosecond. But lookie here! H&M has some for £12.99! And since it's still Day of the Dead, it's only fitting that we all buy a pair and wear them while making my sugar skull macarons. *shamelessly plugging my macarons face*

Letter pointed flats, £19.50 (was £28), ASOS

BEST OF THE REST: Remember last week, when I boldly claimed that a pink pair of shoes sporting a bow would be far too girlie for me? This week I've totally changed my mind. In actual fact, it turns out that simply being pink and having a bow isn't girlie enough for me this week. Oh no, let's add some glitter and a touch of velour and what we have is the Dream Shoe of Laura, age 6 33. These are definitely the kind of shoes that look better with a foot inside them (handy, that). I don't think the photo does them justice. I might just have to buy them to find out for sure...

Multi tweed patent T-bar pumps, £10.99 (was £15.99), New Look

I have a tweedy coat in these colours. Obviously, I couldn't wear these tweed shoes from New Look at the same time, unless I particularly wanted to look like Christine Hamilton that day.

THE HOMEWARE
(Inadvertent Animal Special)

Anorak horses cushion, £25 (was £40), Urban Outfitters

STAR BUY! We've made no secret of the fact that we are very much in love with Anorak's kissing horses print. We want it on our beds, on our towels - and now I want this cushion from Urban Outfitters on my sofa, please. At £40, it was a wee bit expensive for something I might ruin with a rogue beetroot juice stain, but at £25, I'm willing to take a risk for kissing horses. Kissy kissy whinny whinny. OR SOMETHING.

Are bunnies more your thing? There's no shame in it. You'll probably prefer this Anorak rabbit cushion, though. And can I persuade you to buy this matching cool bag? (And by cool bag, I mean a bag that keeps things cool. Although it is a pretty cool bag. Also it's £30, reduced from £45.)

Owl money bank, £10 (was £20), Urban Outfitters

BEST OF THE REST: Well, well, well - if we haven't gone and found ourselves a cutie patootie here. This owl money bank from Urban Outfitters is half price, meaning you can put the tenner you save INTO IT rather than SPENDING IT. Pennies make pounds, and pounds make us very, very happy. Twit twoo. 

From The Deep dinner plate, £12.95 (was £24), Anthropologie

Is it Cthulhu? Quite possibly, even though Anthropologie are touting it as a 'playful octopus'. Either way, I'm mad about this plate. I love that when you turn it over, the tentacled critter reveals himself (although I'm not completely sure I see the point of having such a detailed underside, unless you can think of a nifty way to display two plates side-by-side.)

The original price of £24 per plate is, frankly, ridiculous. Thank goodness, then, that they're £12.95 each in the sale. This means we might be able to afford the equally-spectacular From The Deep side plates, which are £5.95 reduced from £12. On these plates, in the words of Anthropologie, 'a striped sea creature swims through an ocean of stoneware, gliding towards a sailing ship'. Sometimes I think being surrounded by such overpriced loveliness on a daily basis makes the Anthropologie copywriters go a bit doolally.

Persian cat salt and pepper shakers, £5 (was £9), Urban Outfitters

Holy Cats! I want this Persian cat salt and pepper set from Urban Outfitters and I want it NOW. I have a bit of an addiction to salt and peppers shakers. From where I'm sitting just now, I can see a pair of jaunty owls; a Scottish salt and French pepper-men set (too difficult to explain, but rest assured it looks as good - if not better - than it sounds); and two extremely frightening salt and pepper guinea pigs. That's only what I can see without turning my head. Or leaving the room. If Cruet Collectors' Anonymous existed, I'd have to consider becoming a twelve-stepper. But it doesn't, so I'll just continue going slowly condimental. BOOM BOOM. 

THE GHASTLY-BUT-GLORIOUS ITEM OF THE WEEK

Salt-N-Pepa Tee, £15 (was £32), Urban Outfitters

Finally, we're effortlessly segueing from salt and pepper to Salt-N-Pepa, courtesy of this frankly overwhelming tee from Urban Outfitters. It's so bad, it's (real) good. 

Let's take a moment:

ACE.

So, who's bought what in the sales this week? Do tell!