Sometimes, when I'm in need of a little pick-me-up, I spend a few minutes looking at The Rodnik Band's utterly bonkers sequinned dresses. I imagine a perfect world where I am invited to impossibly glamorous Hallowe'en parties and turn up dressed as a sparkly fish supper; a world where £1,500 is a drop in the ocean for a frock.
It's obvious that the art world heavily influences The Rodnik Band's work - previous dresses have included a Duchamp urinal, Dalí's lobster telephone, and Van Gogh's Sunflowers. Pop Art, and Andy Warhol in particular, looms large in every collection. This banana dress would make Andy proud.
This shark hood dress is the cheapest of the lot at £950, and probably the most wearable, too. While we're being all selachian, I'm pretty taken with this shark bag, too - a much more affordable £79.
Feeling patriotic? Then kit yourself out like a sequinned cartoon Beefeater!
Give Gaga a run for her money in this meat dress, the most expensive of the lot at £1,999 (there are A LOT of sequins here, after all). Accessorise with a ham bag for the ultimate meat feast. Yum.
I wish the washing-up gloves in this picture were sequinned. Nevermind. The washing machine dress has got me spinning nonetheless. SPINNING. You see? Like a washing machine? Oh, whatever.
This boiled egg dress might be my second favourite (after the fish and chips). No idea what happens around the back, but presumably your bum isn't left uncovered. For £1,300, you'd hope not anyway.
They're all mentally brilliant, right? And all so beyond my price range that only a lottery win will lift them out of Sluttery Fantasy territory. A girl can dream, though. Maybe one day I'll be able to nip to Tesco dressed like a sequinned ham. That'll surprise the staff on the meat counter.