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Friday 13 September 2013

Sluttery Sales Spy: Oasis, Miista and Yumi



It's Friday the 13th! Some facts:
  • In Spain and other Spanish-speaking countries, Tuesday the 13th is an unlucky day, not Friday. 
  • In Italy, Friday the 17th is considered unlucky.
  • It is estimated that $900 million is lost in business on Friday the 13th.
  • In Sales Spyland, Friday the 13th is a very lucky day, and it is estimated that at least £40 will be lost from my bank account.
THE DRESSES

Yumi horse print shirt dress, £28 (was £50), ASOS

Yumi's exquisite equine shirt dress captures the essence of frolicking horses, without the risk of flying hooves and manure. Let's have a look at it up close, shall we?


GASP! PONAYS! They're having so much fun. 

Meadow floral dress, £45 (was £65), Oasis

I really love this floral dress from Oasis. Even though it's pale, it still looks like it could make it stylishly through to winter, doesn't it? Not sure what kind of tightage you should wear with it, but that's not my problem. I just make you buy the stuff.

THE HANDBAGS

The Leather Satchel Company 12.5" tartan satchel, £82 (was £136), ASOS

If people didn't start wearing tartan and checks of all kinds in September, we'd have no way of gauging the seasons. I don't think the trees would even know it was autumn. The leaves would be perma-green, Bonfire Night would be cancelled, and there would be all kinds of knock-on implications for Christmas. No. That wouldn't do. The time has come for tartan, and plenty of it. It's our civic duty. May I suggest this lovely red satchel from The Leather Satchel Company as a starter tartan?

Betty Jackson. Black tweed tote, £44 (was £55), Debenhams

I've just been fannying about with a metre stick, working out how big this Betty Jackson. Black tote bag actually is. All part of the Sales Spy service. Turns out it's pretty huge, so would surely be perfect for a weekend away somewhere, or to house a popular magician and a TV entrepreneur, if that sort of thing is your bag. PUN INTENDED.

THE SHOES

Miista Ondria Oxford, £66 (was £137.70), Fab

These downright delectable Miista Ondria Oxfords would be my perfect autumn shoe if it weren't for one slight problemette: holes + rain = soggy feet. I could probably line them with a Tesco carrier bag, though. STYLISH.

Maguba Bologna clogs, £46 (was £80.19), Fab

I was pondering the other day how pissed off the Netherlands must be with Sweden. Y'know, your schtick is wooden footwear and tulips, and then the whole world is all Ikea this, Swedish clogs that, Alexander SkarsgĂ„rd the other, and suddenly Dutch children are begging their parents to let them leave Swedish Hasbeens out for St Nicholas to fill with presents at Christmas. I don't know about you, but for me this is bringing back eerie memories of the Dano-Swedish war of 1658-60, where - as we will all remember - the Dutch sided with Denmark. I have portentous feelings.  

Anyway, these Bologna clogs by Maguba are super-nice, aren't they? Sorry Holland. 

HISTORICAL SIDENOTE: The Dano-Swedish war did not break out because of clogs, but still.

THE JEWELLERY

And Mary bulldog pendant, £10 (was £18), ASOS

Aw, FACE! How sad are those little bulldoggy eyes? He wants you to buy him! He's saying, "I'm only a tenner! Much cheaper than a real-life bulldog! And I don't crap on the pavement!". Go on. Let a bejewelled bulldog into your life.

Rosita Bonita small heart necklace, £24 (was £35.50), Fab

I'm flattered that Rosita Bonita has been inspired to create a necklace modelled on my very own heart of gold. Designer Rowenna Harrison's gorgeous pieces are crafted from embossed saddle leather, and this small heart necklace is one of my favourites. It makes my heart go boom diddy boom. No, not you, P.Diddy/Puff Daddy/Whatever. Stop booming. 

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