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Tuesday, 30 April 2013

Speedy Suppers: Thai Noodles

This is the first of our new monthly Speedy Suppers posts featuring ace dishes that are ready in under 20 minutes. The recipes are perfect for when you get home hungry and want something quick and easy, heck it's even quicker than waiting for a takeaway to arrive or most ready meals to cook in the oven.

Stir frys are super speedy and generally pretty healthy and you can add whatever veg you like. I've opted for a veggie version but this would also be fab with chicken, beef or prawns, just fry them with the ginger at the start of the recipe. I had half a pomegranate left in the fridge so that went in too, turned out it was a match made in food heaven but its definitely not essential and if you have a bag of salted peanuts then they would be an excellent garnish.

Thai Veggie Noodles (serves 2 hungry people)
You will need:
  • 2 sheets dried medium egg noodles
  • 2 eggs
  • glug vegetable oil
  • thumb sized piece of fresh ginger cut into matchsticks
  • 2 cloves garlic, chopped
  • 2 tablespoons Thai red curry paste
  • glug of fish sauce
  • 1 tablespoon palm sugar (or regular sugar)
  • 1 red onion, thinly sliced
  • 1 stick celery, sliced
  • 1 large carrot, julienned (use a mandolin if you have one)
  • 2 big handfuls bean sprouts
  • 1 red chilli thinly sliced
  • handful fresh mint leaves
  • handful fresh coriander leaves
  • pomegranate seeds (optional)
  • few wedges of lime to serve
Make it!
  1. Get all your ingredients prepped and ready to go like they do on cookery shows, it's always best to do this when cooking a stir fry as everything cooks so quickly, plus you get to pretend you're on TV.
  2. Cook your egg noodles according to the packet instructions and before you drain them take a mug full of the cooking water and put it to one side for later then drain the noodles.
  3. Beat your eggs in a microwavable bowl then microwave for bursts of 20 seconds giving a quick stir in between until the egg is cooked then cut into pieces and leave to one side.
  4. Heat the oil in a wok or large frying pan and add the ginger, garlic and half of your chilli, cook for about 30 seconds then add the curry paste and about 3/4 of the onion, carrot and celery (leave the rest for later) and cook for a couple of minutes to soften, add the fish sauce and sugar, if it seems dry then add some of the noodle water.
  5. Add the noodles and mix well, add more noodle water if it needs it, once the noodles are hot add the remaining raw veg, coriander, mint and cooked egg and toss to combine (or use one of those spaghetti spoons to help mix) then divide between bowls and garnish with the remaining ingredients and a squeeze of lime.

Tall Girl Treat: Body Confidence and Leggings

Emma Billingham writes on Facebook: "The article on wedges was fabulous as it's encouraging taller/bigger women to embrace their height - I would love to see more of this kind of thing, including discussions about posture, how to make the most of what we have."

  
I have never gone in for the myriad 'hilarious' t-shirts with slogans about no, I don't actually play basketball, but I saw this great shirt while having a think about Emma's question. And actually, yes! The weather IS great up here. It just might not feel that way at certain times; like when the shop's run out of size 10s, or the tall section gets moved to online-only. Or when random men call out to you in the street about your height. Then it can feel pretty bloody annoying. 

What makes people feel confident is entirely up to them, but here's what helps me.

A lot of this has been to do with standing up straight. There is absolutely no point in trying to hide how tall we are; slouching just makes women over 5'10 look like faintly embarrassed umbrellas. Whether you stand up straight in heels or trainers, or well-supported flats, just do it. (I refer you to the Domestic Sluttery 9-13 shoe guide). And wear clothes that make you feel like a genius. What is good about 2013 is that it's not 1999 and we can find exactly what we want if we look hard enough.

One of my particular bugbears is tall women constantly being pushed towards wide-legged trousers - particularly, with baggy tops. This is nothing against wide-legged trousers per se, but rather a big no to unnecessarily bagginess and bigness. Dude! We know we're tall! But you don't have to dress us like something that's going to accommodate 200 drunk people at a wedding.

It's like choosing between lips and eyes; either go baggy on top or on bottom, but not both. Billowing has its place. I own a maxi dress, but because that is well-cut and made out of jersey (best dress fabric ever), I still feel sleek even when it's flying out around my ankles.
My winter look is applicable to all occasions.
In cold weather, my default clothes setting is some kind of jumper/cardigan/top combo with a decent pair of black skinny jeans worn with my ancient DUO tall boots. This is not because I have amazing legs or the arse of a pilates teacher, but simply because being so weighed down by surplus material makes me feel like a ship struggling in a gale. No need! We are tall. Drowning in fabric is not going to disguise this fact.

The difficulty of being tall is that replacing favourite clothes is in no way a given. My jeans recently faded to a tragic shade of charcoal which was swiftly remedied by sticking them in the machine with some Dylon. This was partly because I couldn't find another pair of the same jeans, but really because if something makes you feel good - stick with it. A neat silhouette makes me feel like I can cut through things! I can get on and do stuff! And above all, it makes me feel confident.

Leggings


Katy-Jane Middleditch writes on Facebook: "I would love you to cover tall leggings! They are impossible to find for my 36 inch+ legs! That and maxi skirts,maxi dresses... just clothes in general really."

Hurray! An easy one. For clothes in general, bookmark the Tall Girl Treat posts: whether they're my favourites, or pure eye candy, I pick out items that work on longer frames, legs, arms etc so you're not just at the mercy of the specialist brands.
But back to leggings. There is one answer to this: Topshop. For all my misgivings about the Tall range, they do really reliable leggings. Never OTT in price, they come in a trillion varieties and are always nice and thick. These black ankle leggings are £12.
Long Tall Sally's catalogue landed on my mat last night, and while I wasn't exactly set on fire by most of it, two of their new legging patterns might be right up your street.


These floral print ones and smudge print leggings are both £26. The smudge print especially have ecstatic reviews - I'm really confused by the sizing though. The smudge inside leg is 32.5" (?) and the floral are 34" (hum). Seems incredibly short to me for a tall brand, but a 6'3" commenter with a 36" leg says the smudge print are plenty long enough, so either they're crazy stretchy or they've written the sizes up wrong.

PS - an offer


To celebrate their 15th birthday, Tall Girls have got 15 per cent off everything until the end of May. Happy birthday ladies!

Sluttishly Vegetarian: Panzanella

The first recipe I saw for panzanella described it as a salad of stale bread and squashed tomatoes. Mmm - thanks for the dinner invite, but I am very sadly busy from now until 2074.

Don't panic. This simple Tuscan salad is far more vibrant and delicious than it first sounds (apparently Siany had it for lunch nearly every day on her adventure in Italy last week, jealous). You can rejuvenate day-old bread by flavouring it with garlic and soaking it in vinegar, tomatoes and olive oil. Mixed with roasted vegetables, it makes for an excellent light dinner or starter. If you're not veggie you could add grilled chicken, fish or prawns to it, but a big bowl of it on its own will fill you up.

Panzanella (serves 2)
You will need:
  • 3 plum tomatoes 
  • 1 stale ciabatta roll
  • 1 garlic clove
  • 1 tbsp red wine vinegar
  • 2-3 tbsp olive oil
  • 1/2 red onion, chopped
  • 1/4 cucumber, chopped into chunks
  • 1/2 red pepper, chopped
  • 1 tbsp olives
  • 6 basil leaves, torn up
Make it!
  1. Remove the tomato skins by scoring a cross in them, plunging them into a bowl of boiling water for a minute, then scooping out and leaving to cool. The skins should easily peel away. Cut each tomato into around 8 pieces.
  2. Cut the garlic clove in half and rub it over your ciabatta. Then tear the bread into large chunks and place in a bowl. Add the chopped tomatoes, vinegar and olive oil, and set aside to marinate for an hour. It should be moist but not soggy when it's ready.
  3. Mix the bread with the rest of the salad with your hands, season to taste, and enjoy.

Jungle Jewellery: Accessorising With The Fiercest Beasts



It started with this Jungle Print Purse (£8, from Topshop). I don't quite know what it was about it, but suddenly humble British cats, foxes, owls and rabbits were no longer good enough. I wanted to clad myself in more exotic beasts. Like lions. Or crocodiles. Or hippos (especially hippos). I wanted to follow my wilder animal instincts for a change. Here are my best new beasts.


When fashion types talk about being fierce, they're all probably picturing this Kenzo gold-plated tiger ring in their head. This is a full-on, take no prisoners piece of jewellery and it's fabulous. It's also £75 from Liberty.


Slightly more subdued, ever so much cheaper but no less exotic are these elephant earrings, only £12 from Oliver Bonas.


I could channel my inner Jimmy Nail and accessorise with a pair of crocodile shoes, but I don't think that's wise. Instead I'm pondering snapping up these crocodile collar tips from ASOS. They're just £10, and they're little crocodiles biting onto either end of a chain, designed to add some jungle magic to any dull shirt.



ASOS are also selling this Lion bear bangle for £15, worthy of any queen of the jungle. But is anyone going to tell them that's, umm, not a bear, it's an elephant?




The really fearless (i.e. not me, not quite yet) can up their fearsome factor with this snake necklace. Designed by Californian company Dogeared, it's £54 from Kabiri.



And, finally, let's not forget the hippo. Who could forget the hippo once you've seen something like this hippo double ring? Presumably this is one hungry hippo. By Haoshi Design, it's available through Bouf for £73. I'd wear it for a walk on the wild side.

Monday, 29 April 2013

Design Porn: Peter Pan Acorn Pendant


She said nicely that she would wear his kiss on the chain around her neck. It was lucky that she did put it one that chain, for it was afterwards to save her life. - J.M Barrie, Peter Pan.

The acorn and thimble passage of Peter Pan is beautiful. There's a naive childishness to it, a strange sort of innocent sexual tension that reminds us of our first kiss. It's the inspiration for this gorgeous acorn necklace.

The antique silver thimble is paired with a wooden acorn turned from real oak - each representing Wendy and Peter's kisses. And as if that wasn't pretty enough, The Aviary have popped the necklace in a box that looks like a book.


Inside the book box is the passage from Peter Pan, printed on antique book pages. I get the feeling that Mr Barrie would approve (I've even mentioned him in our literary hotel guide - you can stay on the island where Peter Pan was created - we'd totally be friends). This is the most splendid present that there ever was - absolutely perfect for birthdays. I'm not a fan of everything in The Aviary (this nest cushion can stay, though) but at £65 with 10% of the profits going to Great Ormond Street Hospital, this necklace is an adorable, affordable thing of beauty.

Let Her Eat Cake: Banana Custard Upside Down Cake

Banana Custard Upside Down Cake
By gum do we love an upside down cake here at DSHQ. Whether it's Caleigh's glorious gluten-free mango version or this comforting toffee-apple confection, the upside down cake has to be the perfect bake when pantry resources are looking a little low.

After moving house this weekend, I was in need of a quick, easy cake fix, made from ingredients that had found their way (amongst pairs of tights and empty DVD cases) into the box marked 'KITCHEN: MISC'. Slightly squashed bananas? Yes. Packet of custard powder that I've been ignoring for weeks? You finally have a purpose.

In many ways, this is an incredibly nostalgic cake: remember going round to a friend's house after school to play, and being given bananas and custard for dessert? The custard in the mixture keeps the cake soft and moist and combined with caramel-soaked, gooey banana, is like a warm hug on a plate. If you've been craving some custardy goodness since our Top Ten Custard Recipes, then here's yet another way to indulge...

Banana Custard Upside Down Cake
You'll need:
For the cake:
  • 110g butter, softened
  • 110g caster sugar
  • 2 free-range eggs
  • 1/2 tsp vanilla essence
  • 110g self-raising flour
  • 1/2 tsp baking powder
  • 70g instant custard powder
  • 2 ripe bananas
For the caramel:
  • 20g butter
  • 3 tbsp dark brown sugar (muscovado works well)
Make it!
The cake:
  1. Preheat the oven to 180C/350F/Gas Mark 4. Generously grease a 20cm round cake tin (a silicon one will make the cake a lot easier to turn out).
  2. Cream together the butter and sugar until pale and fluffy. 
  3. Beat the eggs in a separate bowl, then add to the butter in three or four batches, mixing well in between and including a teaspoon of flour each time to stop the mixture from splitting. 
  4. Stir in the vanilla essence. 
  5. Gradually sift the baking powder and remaining flour into the cake mix, folding in gently with a metal spoon. 
  6. In a separate jug, pour around 350-400ml boiling water over the custard powder and whisk with a fork for one minute until you have a very thick custard. (You may need to vary the water, depending on the type of custard powder). 
  7. Once the custard has cooled slightly, spoon 3 tablespoons into the cake mix and stir gently until just combined. 
  8. Sprinkle the bottom of the cake tin with a layer of dark brown sugar. 
  9. Slice the bananas into 1cm slices and arrange around the bottom of the tin. 
The caramel:
  1. Place the butter and dark brown sugar in a small pan. Cook over a low heat for a minute or two until they have melted together into a sticky, sugary caramel. 
  2. Pour evenly over the banana slices. 
  3. Dollop the cake mixture on top and spread evenly to the edges of the tin. 
  4. Bake for 30-35 minutes until risen and golden on top. 
  5. Leave for cool for 2-3 minutes, then invert the cake onto a plate and carefully remove the tin. 
  6. Serve warm. I added some fresh raspberries and smothered mine with the remaining custard for instant comfort.

Calligraphuck's Exquisite Expletives



Salutations, motherfucker! Let me introduce you to Calligraphuck's range of sweary letterpress cards. One of these little beauties will serve as the perfect conduit for a missive to your most potty-mouthed friends. Swearing IS big and it IS clever - never forget it, kids.


This is the sort of thing Benedict Cumberbatch - himself a rather magnificent bastard - says to his chums all the time, isn't it? 


Know someone who's going through a rough patch? Send a profane pick-me-up to brighten their day. 




I love a bit of gratuitous swearing, and I think the reason these cards are so effective is the juxtapositioning (*pretentious face*) of profanity with the sort of calligraphic font normally reserved for wedding invitations. I can imagine hearing the satisfying thud of its heavy card hitting my doormat and thinking this was something VERY formal arriving in the post.

Calligraphuck's cards are £4 each, including birthday, congratu-fucking-lations, and Christmas cards (no, it's not too early, apparently - I've had a press release about it already). And if you reckon you'll still be with your magnificent bastard or bitch next Valentine's Day, they've got that covered, too. 

Calligraphuck - I fucking love you.

(It's Honestly) What I Always Wanted

"It's what I always wanted" is probably something you've mumbled through gritted teeth when you've been given another terrible jumper for Christmas, but What I Always Wanted brings you things you genuinely desire, all made by independent British designers. Flex your credit card, we're going in.


In the wrong hands, this could have been a little bit Skymall - the magazine you get on long-haul flights that sells tat like this pug oil painting (warning: will make you spit tea on your screen). But these personalised pet cushions are genuinely charming and beautifully made. Send them a photo of your pet and designers Naughty Dog will applique them onto a cushion for £30 (£40 for a large cushion).



Hello Mr Magpie! Look at this cheery fella. There's no chance he'd bring you bad luck - look at his face, he's clearly got some serious gossip to pass on. He's hand-cut from copper then fired with enamels, and comes perched in a box frame that you can hang up or have free-standing. He'll cost you £40.


Still persevering with your sewing post-Great British Sewing Bee? Still stabbing yourself with stray needles / leaving them on the sofa to the chagrin of your housemates / mysteriously losing them all? Then you need a sweet briar pincushion ring from Wychbury for £12. Sew safely, kids.


Raargh! DINOSAURS! Parading around on your ears! I never knew I wanted brontosaurus earrings until today, but I covet these sterling silver earrings. They're £28 and come in an adorable tin, making them an ideal gift for someone you really like (i.e. me, post to Domestic Sluttery, That London, W£ <3 G1N).


HIYAAAA! How could you feel gloomy if you arrived home to this sunshine yellow print by Yoke? It's happier to see me than my cat will ever be. It's A5, hand printed, and £15.

Go and explore - What I Always Wanted has fantastic jewellery, homeware, prints, cushions, trinkets and more. Treat yourself and feel good about supporting an independent designer.

Friday, 26 April 2013

Friday Wishlist: Gorgeous things you'll want to buy RIGHT NOW


The perfect dress. £55 from Oasis. It even has pockets!


The perfect light. £195 from Signs For Homes. And?



The perfect ring. £90 from Neoni. Origami bunnies are cool.


The perfect shoes. £59.99 from Zara. Like a really, really excellent carpet.


The perfect whisk (no, really). £6 from Hunter Gatherer. It's a baking squirrel!

Gluten Free: Potato Scones


If you want to turn your Full English into a Full Scottish breakfast, you'll need potato scones. Despite their main ingredient, they're not actually gluten free (thanks to the flour used to bind them) so I've been missing out. Not scones as you probably know them, these are more like a cross between a hash brown and a drop scone. As it turns out, they're one of the easiest things in the world to make, so I've been going without for no reason! 

If you don't fancy the whole fried shebang for breakfast, these little beauties work equally well with scrambled eggs, beans or (but don't tell anyone I told you this) jam.

Potato Scones (makes 12 scones)
You'll need:
  • 400g floury potato (peeled and roughly chopped)
  • 50g butter
  • 75g gluten free plain flour mix or Dove's Farm Rice Flour
  • salt and pepper
Make it!
  1. Boil the potatoes in salted water until tender. Drain and mash.
  2. While the potatoes are still warm, stir in the butter. Add the flour mix, season with salt and pepper and mix well.
  3. Divide the mixture into three and roll out between two sheets of baking paper. You want the scones to be the same thickness as a £1 coin.
  4. Cut your rolled out scone into quarters and gently peel them from the baking paper. 
  5. Heat a gridle pan or frying pan on a medium heat and lightly brush with oil. Place your potato scones in the pan and cook for 2 minutes on each side.

Sluttery Sales Spy: Orla Kiely, Aldo & Urban Outfitters



Purses at the ready? Then we'll begin. 

THE DRESSES

Orla Kiely Alpine Grove dress, £55 (was £110), People Tree

I love People Tree, and I love Orla Kiely, so it figures that I love this Alpine Grove dress. The buttons are sturdy enough that you won't be popping open all o'er the shop, and the coral colour will see you right through spring (HELLO! We've been expecting you. For, like, months) and into summer. Did I mention it's half price? No? Oh. It's half price! 

Not For Ponies Aztec pocket dress, £22.50 (was £45), Kiki's Boutique 

Ponies! Look away now! This is not for you.

First of all, I'd like any prospective buyers of this Not For Ponies Aztec pocket dress to mentally sign a contract, promising to wear some sort of high belty thing with it. We need to cover up that join between the burgundy and the black. Have a look at the model shot for inspiration. (And no, this probably isn't a dress for the more boobulated among us. But Not For Boobulants would be a strange brand name. I quite like it though).

Anyway. There's a bird in the pocket! That's all you need to know. 

THE SHOES

Brandley wedges, £35 (was £70) Aldo

Normally I'm against anything with a cork wedge, but I've been dazzled by the gorgeous colours of these Brandley wedges and am willing to make an exception. That hint of yellowy suede is just perfection. Also it's making me want a hotdog. (It makes sense in my head. Leave me alone.)

Laurel brogues, £49.98 (was £75), Aldo

I hummed and hawed for a goodly long while, wondering whether or not I actually like the white sole of these Laurel brogues from Aldo. Breathe a collective sigh of relief, Spyettes - I do like it! You'll need to invest in one of those magic erasers from Poundland to clean up nasty pavement grime, though. Or, you know, insist on a red carpet being rolled out in front of you every time you go outside. I'm favouring the latter option, actually.

THE BAGS

Mark & Fun leather satchel, £67.30 (was £89.10), Fab

Is this what we call glacĂ© leather? So shiny and smooth! And that green is surely going to have to be renamed The Perfect Green™. If you want one of these Mark & Fun satchels, be quick - there's a limited quantity available on Fab right now, but I can't be held responsible for your heartache if you dilly-dally.

Kissing birds bag, £13 (was £22), ASOS

ASOS thinks these birds are merely kissing, but I think they're sharing a worm in some sort of avian re-enactment of Lady and the Tramp. Obviously I've already named the birds - Derren and Hilary - but I suppose I permit you to rename them if you buy the bag. 

THE HOMEWARE

Blurred Geology cushion, £64.95 (was £108), Anthropologie

Wait! I know it's £64.95! I know it's just a cushion! BUT.

I'm no stranger to an outrageously expensive cushion - I own one of those Donna Wilson animal cushions, y'all - but £108 is several pounds too far, even for me in full-on la-la-LA-bank-manager-schmank-manager mode. I think we can all agree that £64.95 is much cheaper than £108, non? Good. Let's proceed to the next level:

I EFFING WELL LOVE THIS CUSHION! Baked bean juice! A Ribena spillage! A naked flame! Over-zealous penknifemanship! Ahem. I mean "a handpainted rendering of faceted quartz and other geodes". 

Obvs.

24-piece cutlery set, £40 (was £60), Cath Kidston

I have some kind of personality disorder that means I am phobic* of using cutlery that doesn't have a chunky handle**. I mean, I don't cause a scene in restaurants or anything, but at home, I am very particular about my knives and forks (why doesn't fork come first? It's on the left, after all). I'm in need of some new chunky-handled-cutlery, and this Cath Kidston set is ticking all my colourful boxes. Obviously I'll be mix 'n' matching at every meal. 

* Not really. Just a mild aversion. 
** Except teaspoons. I prefer teaspoons to be plain metal. I'll make an exception for these, though. 

DINOSAUR KNOB OF THE WEEK

Ceramic dinosaur knob, £3 (was £6), Urban Outfitters

Not THAT kind of dinosaur knob. Oh, do behave, you lot. You forced me to Google 'dinosaur penis' and now I'm scarred for life.

Retro Classic: Space Invaders Rug


"Pew! Pew! Pew!" If I was to write a list of my favourite computer games, Space Invaders would definitely be up there. Probably right after Day of the Tentacle, Zelda, Civilisation and Mario Kart. There used to be a bar in London where I spent many a night drinking cocktails and playing Space Invaders. I usually have absolutely bugger all very little patience, but blasting those little aliens was a brilliant way to waste half an hour/ seven quid in spare change. Half of my cocktail fund went onto getting to level four.


I Love Retro's brilliant Space Invaders rug is perfect. I love the idea of Space Invaders wall stickers, I think the rug is even cooler - I think it works better because of the dark background. Apparently it's perfect for a children's room. Or, my hallway. It's £109, a whopping £40 cheaper than it is on Bouf. Which means I'll have lots of money left to spend on arcade games.

Thursday, 25 April 2013

Perfect Spring Sunglasses

Following on from yesterday's pieces on perfect spring pencil skirts and easy transitional plus size dressing, one of our readers Little Macaroon made the very valid request: "Following on from your spring dressing code; may I request a line-up of affordable and wearable, on-trend sunglasses? Pretty please?"

The answer is yes! Yes you can! And also the slightly longer answer below.

I've long been of the opinion that I simply can't wear sunglasses. For two years I misguidedly tried oversized (Vivienne Westwood, thank you very much Brand Alley), cat's eye (Kat can't), and at sixth form in 2000 when aviators were still A Very Big Deal, I'd try on the sunglasses that looked so cool on my friends, and instantly get depressed at the fact my face had suddenly turned into a ginormous rock.

But the best, coolest and above all most suitable to everyone's face sunglasses cost FIVE POUNDS. And that is all.

These sunglasses!
Quite simply, if you want some absolutely kick-ass sunglasses that will protect your eyes and that you don't have to worry about keeping in a special case lined with guinea pig fur, Claire's Accessories sunglasses are the best things around.

They do a variety of different types, but these pseudo-Ray Bans are my very favourites. I had them in hot pink in 2009, and these matte, red rubber ones haven't left my face since I popped in a couple of months ago. When they're in my handbag, I keep them safely stored in the tiny carrier bag they came in - done.

What I love about Claire's sunglasses is that they come in such an astounding variety of colours and finishes and don't cost the earth. I could change mine every week if I were so inclined, but I'm quite lazy and attempting to be financially responsible, so I don't.

I might also get these lovely dark blue ones (also £5 - the only reason I didn't originally is that half my spring wardrobe is blue and I'd look like a ginger Smurf).


 I also adore coral and green - seriously, I'm stopping now before I screengrab every single colour.

Still in the £5 zone but a bit different - try these mirrored frosted turquoise numbers if you want to reinvent Top Gun.

The £5 sunglasses come in a rainbow of shades, but you get the picture - let's move up the price bracket to a WHOPPING SEVEN POUNDS.
You can get these Hello Kitty sunglasses which manage the impressive feat of being COVERED in HK print and not making every diabetic in the vicinity have a a terrible fit.

Love Fab ice creams? (ZZAPPS! WE MEAN ZAPS! THANKS BETH! XX) Well now you can wear them over your eyes. Mmm, delicious toffee multicoloured sunglasses.
And these palm tree and flamingo sunglasses are obviously completely bonkers, and yet I love them massively. Imagine how much joy you can impart to all those around you next time you go to the beach, just by wearing these sunglasses.
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