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Friday 21 March 2014

Sluttery Sales Spy: Hobbs, Oasis & Emma Bridgewater

A smörgåsbord of sales surprises, a medley of money-minding must-haves, a plethora of penny-pinching purchases! And an astonishing assemblage of absolutely awesome alliteration.

Oh, Hobbs, this is a reet nice pattern. I must say I'm not crazy about the matchy-matchy belt, so I'd probably swap it for another and use this one as a curtain tie-back or something. I'm actually quite proud of this idea. One curtain's going to feel left out, but hey-ho. Life's a bitch, curtain.

Patchwork dress, £18 (was £45), ASOS
WANT. That clashing panel continues around the back in a jaunty fashion, by the way. For inexplicable reasons, this patchwork dress makes me want to go on a picnic immediately. I think the flowers might attract wasps, though. Also I'll be cold.


Jazz shoes, £28 (was £35), H! by Henry Holland at Debenhams
JAZZ SHOES. Hands up who was in an amateur theatre group at school? *Raises hand* White jazz shoes remind me of those heady days. Alas, mine did not have silver toecaps like these H! by Henry Holland numbers, a glorious design feature which I can only imagine would have massively improved my performances as 1) a blind apple seller, 2) a male gambler, 3) a scarecrow, 4) a Kit Kat girl, and 5) a disciple of Jesus. Prizes* for those of you who can correctly identify the musicals these roles belong to, with a bumper prize** for guessing number 3, because even I can't remember.

* There are no prizes.
** Sorry.

Swedish Hasbeens Lacy Sandals, £96.50 (was £129), ASOS 
Frances showed us some rather fetching red Swedish Hasbeens yesterday in her flat shoe extravaganza (she also cost me a fortune. OH, FRANCES. She does this a lot, everyone). These are a go-with-anything shade of quite-unlike-me beige, described as 'nature', but not really representative of the nature I have witnessed in my lifetime, with the exception perhaps of sand, palomino horses, and sawdust. Maybe Swedish nature is more beige. Anyway, they're ever so lacily pretty. There's also a really brilliant gold pair in a different style, but they break my "under a hundred or it's not coming in (to the Sales Spy)" rule. That's a new rule and liable to change at any given moment, depending on my mood. Stay tuned.


Renaissance Rose skirt, £30 (was £40), Oasis
I am an extreme fan of this painterly Renaissance Rose print at Oasis. As well as this skirt, there's a dress, blazer, trousers, a top, and shorts. They are ALL in the sale. Good grief. Just don't wear them all at once, will you? Unless you're trying to conceal yourself in a darkened hothouse and are requiring of suitable camouflage, in which case FINE, I suppose. 

Midi skirt, £28 (was £45), ASOS
I love a kilt-like skirt, but as a Scottish person I do wonder if I look a little too tourist board when wearing one. Well, I don't care any more, because this midi skirt from ASOS even has kilt straps, and it's ace, so I am purchasing it AT ONCE. Needless to say, I won't be wearing it with the rest of the get-up in this photo, in particular the open-toed ankle boots that look like a dead armadillo. NO.

(On a related note, when I was a teenager, my one great fear was being sent away to the local boarding school, where they wore knee-length kilt-like skirts. At the time, I thought a knee-length kilt-like skirt was the worst possible item of clothing in the entire world. Isn't it funny how tastes change? I like courgettes now too.)


Seletti Hybrid Ipazia plate, £40.17 (was £66.95), Graham & Green
I'm as keen on this Seletti Hybrid plate now as I was a year-and-a-half ago when I first discovered the range. At £40, it's for looking at not eating off, in my house at least, but I wouldn't want to obliterate those patterns with food anyway. Maybe, MAYBE a strategically-placed French Fancy. Nothing more.

Fox & Squirrel mugs, £30 (was £39.95), Emma Bridgewater
Emma Bridgewater has a nice little 2-for-£30 promo on all her animal, bird, and flower mugs at the mo, which'll save you just shy of a tenner. You can spend your savings on gin to fill the mug (I should probably mention here that they hold a half-pint. Maybe get some tonic as well, yeah?). You can mix and match any of the eligible designs, or opt for a ready-made pair, like this lovely red fox and red squirrel combo. They come in a box, as those of you with eyes will see from the photo, and I think this would be a smashing gift for a redhead. Hopefully not literally smashing, though. 


Your Eyes Lie cat dress, £25 (was £47.60), ASOS
Why have a one-headed cat when you can have a whole dress full of two-headed cats for just £25? This is bonkers, and I adore it. No other two-headed cat dress could compete this week, and let me tell you, there were a great many contenders. 

How are we all? 


  1. I had to wear a knee length kilt to school (green and blue). Everyone rolled up their waistbands to make way too short kilt a la Cher Horowitz. Mine always rolled down at the back and looked stupid. That never, ever happened to the cool kids and to this day I still don't know how they did it and was convinced that was why I wasn't a cool kid (that really, really wasn't the reason).

  2. I was ALSO in number 5 at school, as Thomas Aquinas. It was the highlight* of my oeuvre as a musical theatre philosopher.

    *The only time, yes.

  3. Laura, I can only apologise for costing you your fortune. If it's any consolation, you've also cost me mine.


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