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Friday 14 March 2014

Sluttery Sales Spy: Joy, Accessorize & Oliver Bonas

In which I talk at length about Morten Harket. Treats galore!


Checked skater dress, £40 (was £65), ASOS
I'm picking up Lauren Laverne vibes from this dress, and as I've recently decided that I like her best of all the animals, that makes it pretty perfect in my book. It looks soft and comfy and just what we need for frolics and adventures.

Louche Hensley tree print dress, £35 (was £59), Joy
I fell in love with this Hensley dress from Joy even before I got up close and personal and realised that it's covered in trees. TREES! Health and safety warning: do not wear this dress to a forest. We won't be able to see you.

There's some more Joy-based joy to be had this week. After the glory of a fortnight of free unicorn dresses for all, they're now giving everyone who spends £75 or more a woven rainbow necklace worth £29. Rainbows and unicorns? Add something glittery, Joy, and we may combust with delight here are DSHQ.


Louche San Jose bag, £20 (was £32), Joy
Ooh, bag. Lord knows, I'm not requiring of any more over-the-shoulder junk receptacles (Hilz and Derrz are pretty happy in their new home, which happens to be the bright pink box bag I featured a few weeks ago from & Other Stories - thank you, Mama B!). If I were trying to justify why I need this San Jose bag from Joy, my reasons would be:

a) I do indeed know the way to San Jose, and
b) That front bit looks like a handy place to tuck my needles.

Richmond satchel, £17 (was £32), Accessorize
Hardcore Spyettes will know that I break out in an unseemly rash if I don't feature a green satchel at least once every 3.6 weeks, or if you prefer to deal in hours when it comes to the minutiae of my whims - and why not? - 604.8 of those. So here is my favourite green satchel at the mo-mo. Ah, I feel better now.


Lullaby flats, £15 (was £25), ASOS
I adore shoes like this - pointy, airy, strappy, shiny, flatter than a pancake. However. My feet, they don't get along with them. I am in possession of two rather unruly feet, and they just pour out the sides in a most unglamorous way. So I'll leave these to someone else, and seethe with jealousy over here in my big-foot den.

Bring It On boots, £39.99 (was £105), Schuh
Are we still all right to dress up like Peter Pan, or do we think it's too spring for boots now? I think we're okay - we still have puddles and ankle-biting breezes to cope with. These Bring It On boots from Schuh are extreme levels of dandy and dapper, and I want them immediately.


Squirrel nut grinder, £14 (was £24), Oliver Bonas
Just two weeks ago, Kat introduced this amazing squirrel nut grinder to the world. And lo, here it is in the Oliver Bonas sale, this time in a very fetching shade of squirrel orange. Kat named him Squirrel Nutskill; I'm simply going for Terry.

Floral mug, £4 (was £8), M&S

I once watched Morten Harket, Official Heartthrob of the 80s, on the telly show Mr & Mrs (I know, I know, but it was Morten Harket! Look!) and was enthralled to hear that his number one romantic gesture is to carefully choose the colour of china he uses for his wife's morning cup of coffee (his wife later revealed that he takes a long time deciding on the perfect mug - poor girl must be fucking gasping for a cuppa by the time it arrives). 

When Fern asked what colour he'd choose on a sunny day, he said he'd go for the opposite of what was expected, because obviously the Harkets are non-traditional in every aspect of their blessed Scandinavian lives. Even more obviously, I immediately took the piss at not inconsiderable length, and as a result this tradition now exists in my house, too, always accompanied by the plaintive cry of, "But I'm romantic like Morten!". I favour a more literal reaction to the day's forecast or mood, however, and therefore this floral mug from M&S is pretty much spot-on for my overwhelming feelings of spring and cheer and fecund gardens. So that's today's mug dilemma sorted.

Who was your favourite member of A-ha? Mine was Mags.


  1. The Morten Harket story was the funniest thing I have read all day, thank you!:-)

  2. He's now Sir Morten. They've all been knighted by King Harald.
    Love the story.

  3. Traumatised that those beautiful boots are only available in size six. No God Whyyyyyy???


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