What's behind that gate? Here's a peek into one of Herefordshire's best kept holiday secrets.
OK, I'll stop teasing. Triumphal Arch Cottage is a secret in the gardens of Berrington Hall. Designed by Henry Holland (no, not that one, the other one) and with Capability Brown gardens, you have the grandeur of staying in a stately home, with all of the quaintness of a country cottage.
Previously the coachman's home (and more recently a shooting lodge), the cottage also has its own gardens. But that's not nearly as fun as being able to play in the grounds of Berrington Hall when everyone has gone home.
The cottage itself sleeps five across two bedrooms, so it's best for friends rather than coupley couples (Fish Court is the best for that). It's Grade II listed and it goes for the whole country chic vibe - it's elegant, but not so swish that it'll be on the cover of Period Homes and you'll be scared of moving in case you break something.
If you want to stay in this beautiful home and play Lady of the Manor on the Cheap (pretty sure this means you can snog the gardener), the cottage is around £500 for three nights via National Trust Holiday Cottages. They're not quite as quirky as Landmark Trust, but they still beat a boring boxy hotel.
Want more brilliant hotel inspiration? Check out the Domestic Sluttery boutique hotel map.