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Friday 21 June 2013

Sluttery Sales Spy: Mango, Kurt Geiger & Miista

Come fall down this sales-shaped hole with me, won't you? It's warm down here. And it smells of butterscotch Angel Delight.


Petit Bateau tennis dress, £40 (was £58), Urban Outfitters

Whoops. I appear to have gone all Manic Pixie Dream Girl on you already, and we've only just begun. Anyway. This is a tennis dress. How wonderfully current of me, don't you think? I'm finding Wimbledon mind-numbingly tedious already, and it hasn't even started yet. I might be able to rouse myself into some semblance of a vaguely enthused person if C'mon Andy rouses himself into some semblance of a Wimbledon champ, but otherwise, no. However. This dress will help me through a tough tennis season. NEW BALLS PLEASE.

Yumi atomic print dress, £20 (was £40), House of Fraser

This atomic print dress is the thing you'll need to wear to woo Dr Sheldon Cooper, if that particular challenge were to be one of your goals in life (one of these challenges being the fact he's not a real person - not that that sort of minor obstacle has ever stood in my way before). Maybe Sheldon could explain why there are also clocks all over the dress? Is it a reference to atomic clocks? Ain't like no atomic clocks I've ever seen.*

* I've never seen an atomic clock.

Floral shift, £32 (was £45), Oasis

You could get this effect if you smeared your sides in superglue and ran through a wildflower meadow. Alternatively, you could buy this floral shift from Oasis and spare yourself the hayfever and the trespassing fine. 


Miista's shoes of the moment - their fabulous hologram Zoe Oxfords - are, alas, not in the sale. Actually, they're almost impossible to buy at all, such is the magnitude of their popularity, combined with the fact that Lauren Laverne just bought some and made the grave mistake of tweeting about her purchase. But fear not, my sweets, because these Zoe Neptune Oxfords are the same shape, but feature a SILK upper, leather lining, and amazing galactic print. I think I might even prefer these. And oh look - they're down to 70 smackeroonies in the Urban Outfitters sale

F-Troupe plastic shoes, £50 (was £85), Urban Outfitters

Plastic shoes with red lovehearts all over them! Pinch me, I'm 6 years old.

Carvela Ardent platforms, £75 (was £140), Kurt Geiger

Remember the Ardent? We were ardently admiring these Carvela Kurt Geiger shoes last November, despite their £140 price tag - so imagine the swooning, fainting and drooling that's going on now they're almost half-price? It isn't pleasant, I can tell you. Sort of swoony. And wet. 


Me & Zena Write On ring, £13 (was £16), Fab

It's a ring, I promise! I know it appears to be the size of a bangle, or a hula-hoop, or perhaps even the rings of Saturn, but it is definitely a ring. For your finger. A RING SHAPED LIKE A PENCIL. My life is now complete.

Budding neon necklace, £39.95 (was £58), Anthropologie

So pretty! This Budding necklace by designer Lenora Dame - on sale at Anthropologie - is the perfect shade of pink for summer. Hell, it's the perfect shade of pink for any season.

Urban Aviary rough ruby ring, £62.40 (was £72.90), Fab

I'm so into this ruby ring by Urban Aviary. The rough-cut stone looks like it's being seized by a clawed foot. It's just incredibly beautiful. I would wear it every day, if anyone was generous enough to buy me one. HINTORAMA. 


Box clutches in mint and bright green, £15 each (was £30 each), Oasis

I couldn't choose my favourite colourway! Oasis is loving this box clutch shape at the moment, and there are roughly 1,228 (6 or 7) different colour combos to pick from. Aside from the greens, I'm also enjoying their bubblegum clutch, which comes in at a slightly more expensive - but by no means bank-busting - £18.

Woolacombe frame bag, £28 (was £40), Oasis

I like a frame bag, because they make me feel important. I also really like a bag named after a Devonshire town with a pirate-themed crazy golf course, so I feel I've struck handbag gold here.

Patent tote in coral, £19.99 (was £44.99), Mango

This tote bag from Mango is so shiny, so corally, so BRIGHT that it will be like hauling the sun around over your shoulder. Without the death to all living creatures/end of the world/crippling shoulder pain bit of that scenario, presumably. But who knows? Dare you find out?

Found any amazing bargains this week? Sharing is caring. 


  1. This is always my favourite post of the week.

    I bought a dress at Joy ( for £20 but then I got an email saying it was sold out in my size and my money was refunded. Sad times....but I guess I'll just have to keep looking (and possibly spend more than I intended).

    - Adah

    1. Oh, Adah, that's lovely to hear - thank you!

      Boo hiss at the dress being sold out - I love that one (I think it might have even featured in this very column before!). I hope you find a suitable replacement soon!


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