Hello Birdy: The Tudor Mansion Bird House

Bluetits and sparrows are fussy little trollops these days. Not content with the seeds, breadcrumbs and odd rind of bacon fat that they were happy to feast on in days gone by, nowadays it's all about having a bitching crib to go with that decadent diet. Or at least, that's what I imagine must be the case if the premium avian properties being knocked up by Lindleywood are anything to go by.

If you fancy treating the feathered critters in your garden to a life of luxury, this Tudor mansion bird house will set you back £49. Each one is handmade to order, and if Tudor architecture isn't to your taste, you've also got the option of a fairytale castle, wedding chapel, pub, fire engine, or even a cat's bottom. But beware, kit the birds in your garden out with a pad as swish as this and they might start flocking from miles around. Domestic Sluttery accepts no responsibility if it all ends up looking like a scene from The Birds...