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Friday 25 January 2013

Sluttery Sales Spy: Zara, Mango & Topshop

Hello, Spyettes, and welcome to this week's sales round-up, where our watchword is WARMTH. It's chucking it down with the white stuff where I live. I may be some time.


Fur collar oversized coat, £56.50 (was £90), ASOS

Given that I make my living manipulating words into some semblance of order, you'd think I'd be able to express how this beautiful mustard coat from ASOS makes me feel. Alas, I cannot. All I can do is squeal and shriek and flail and jig.

And then SOB UNCONTROLLABLY because my size has sold out.

Damn you, world.

Maison Martin Margiela leather jacket, £100 (was £179), H&M

Could go either way, this leather jacket from H&M. It might look oh-so-nonchalantly ace. Or it might look like you've been fighting in a spiky hedge. Personally, I think both of these things are tip-top. Can't beat a little hedge-fighting chic in my world.

Tweed coat, £69.99 (was £119.99), Zara

I've had my beady eye on this tweed coat from Zara for months. At £119.99, it was impossible to justify its purchase. But at £69.99? Excuse me a moment while I find my credit card...


Sequin collar zigzag sweater, £19.99 (was £39.99), Mango



I trust I have your attention now. Let's all delight in the beauty that is this zigzag sweater from Mango. The sequin collar can be detached, if it's not your thing. It so is my thing.

Emma Cook owl face jumper, £25 (was £40), Topshop

There has been some debate this week at Sluttery HQ surrounding The Official Animal Of 2013™. It's a contentious subject indeed: Sel's making a case for the humble otter, Sian's fighting the badger's corner, while I'm firmly in the hedgehog camp. We're all feeling that the fox and the owl, undisputed King and Queen of 2012, are due a sabbatical, possibly a minibreak somewhere warm, and definitely a nice cup of tea with their feet up. Fox and Owl - it's time to take a step back to focus on your charity work and develop your career portfolio.

Mint green owls, however, are here to stay. A very rare type of owl, they are seldom spotted here in Blighty. We owe it to the avian world, therefore, to buy this Emma Cook for Topshop owl face jumper, and do our bit to preserve this beautiful creature. A one-off payment of £25 is all it takes to fund vital breeding programmes.

Pointelle insert yoke jumper, £20 (was £35), Warehouse

I'll admit that the pointelle work on this jumper (get me with my knitting jargon!*) isn't conducive to absolute warmth, but but BUT: baby blankets have loads of holes in them, right? And babies are very warm little critters. Therefore, I think this lacy jumper from Warehouse will follow the same principle. If you're a size 10, 12 or 14, get yours direct from Warehouse. If you're an 8, John Lewis has some in stock. The rest of us: today wasn't our lucky day. Our time will come. 

* I had to Google it.


Biba Clara wedges, £59 (was £180), Kurt Geiger

Yeah, yeah, they're sandals. Yeah, yeah, you're not going to be wearing sandals in this weather. However. They're velvet! And everyone knows that velvet is the fabric of winter, of log fires, of luxury and riches and WARMTH. Of libraries, brandy, pipe smoke, and Prince. Ergo, these Biba wedges from Kurt Geiger are the perfect snow shoes.

Blucher brogue, £16.99 (was £69.99), Zara

Once we get over the fact that Blucher sounds either like a new-fangled Cluedo weapon, or a particularly lurid entry in the Viz Profanisaurus, we can hopefully all appreciate that this here is a very nice shoe. A very nice shoe which Zara has kindly reduced to £16.99. Them Spanish know how to have a sale. Olé! 
Shellys** shoe shop: "Hello! Shellys shoe shop, how may I help you?"
The 90s: [Kenickie plays in background] "Oh, hi, it's the 90s here. Just wondering if you'd seen my shoes? Teal green, chunky wood-effect heel?" 
Shellys: "No, that's not ringing a bell, I'm afraid. Sorry. No shoes of that description here." [Quickly puts teal green, chunky wood-effect heels in sale, before the 90s finds out that Shellys has stolen them.]

** It should totally have an apostrophe. It's making me break out in hives. But, hey, I'm not responsible for the branding decisions of others.


Ben de Lisi desk bedding, £36-£54.40 (was £45-£68), Debenhams

Am I having a snow day today? Am I bollocks. If I was, um, "working" from home, I'd want my bed to be my desk. Ben de Lisi clearly feels the same. This desk print bed linen is just the thing for your home office.
Markus Lupfer Hug hot water bottle, £20 (was £45), Whistles

Feeling ill? Freezing cold? Have nothing to eat except half a stale cream cracker and an out-of-date mince pie left over from Christmas? Girl, what you need is a hug (and a lesson in how to be a more effective grocery shopper). Since I'm not there to give you one (the hug, not the lesson, and perhaps that would be a bit weird anyway, given that I wouldn't know you if you came up in my soup), Whistles has stepped in to save the day with this Hug hot water bottle. Consider yourself warmly embraced.

Sausage dog draught excluder, £25.92 (was £36), Laura Ashley

I would like a non-chintzy draught excluder. Bewilderingly, my first port of call in this search was the resolutely chintzy Laura Ashley. And lo: THIS HAPPENED. Yes, he's cutesy, but Laura A's done us a favour and not covered him in ditsy roses. I LOVE HIM. He has corduroy ears! The added bonus here is that he doesn't need to be taken out in sub-zero temperatures to have a crap.

What amazing bargains have you lot found this week? I want deets, and I want them NOW. 


  1. I bought my first designer dress - a lovely Vivienne Westwood cowl-neck jersey number - for under a hundred quid the other day! It's more than I'd normally spend on a dress, but it was the last one and I'm due a big freelance payment next month.

  2. I want just about everything in the Mango sale. They've got a fantastic range of boxy coats for about £40 tempted!

  3. OMG those Biba shoes.

  4. i want them shoes!!!! lol xx

  5. I have the dog in doorstop form - he is clearly shorter but no less splendid. He's great for hugs too. Yeah, sometimes I hug my doorstop. X Laura


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