Sluttery Travels: The Malmaison, Aberdeen

A hotel for food and drink lovers

When I was told that not only would I be heading up to Aberdeen on a meaty trip but I would also be staying at the Malmaison hotel I got more than a little giddy at the thought. Having spent a long time working on tour I've been lucky enough to visit many of the Malmaison hotels around the country (quite often just to pop in for a few top notch cocktails after work) but I'd never visited the Aberdeen one so was crazy excited about it.

This drinks list really should be laminated so that the
tears of joy don't spoil the pages!

Aberdeen Malmaison are serious about food and drink, their cocktail list alone gave me actual goosebumps and brought a little tear of joy to my eye. A good espresso martini is one of my all time favourite drinks, so when I saw that these guys use Olmeca tequila in theirs I was determined that, in the name of Sluttery research, it was my duty to try one. Oh. My. Days. It was just the most wonderful cocktail I have ever tried. In fact that drink is probably worth the several hundred mile trip alone! The fact that they throw in some seriously plump olives and dry roasted peanuts to accompany your drink in their sexy bar just made me never want to leave.

From my super comfy sofa in the bar I spotted something rather special in the corner of the room and went to investigate. Holy crap it was a Whisky Room! All my dreams really were starting to come true: an entire room, complete with a big comfy chair dedicated to whiskies! Home of the Scotch Malt Whisky Society, it's called the Whisky Snug but it should definitely be renamed Hazel's Dream Room. There in the middle of the room was a whisky called Hazelbury, well it was fate really wasn't it? If wine is more your tipple than whisky though then The Laroche Tasting Room is in the basement (you can see it through the glass floor as you walk to the restaurant, how cool is that?) where you can have your own personal tasting experience with their sommelier.

That bottle DEFINITELY has my name on it! Check out the "Dried roses in a shoe box" whisky, and yes
 WALLS of whisky!

Now if steak is your thing then you are coming to the right place my friend. Aberdeen Mal does steak better than anywhere I have ever been. In fact their steaks are so good that none other than Donald Trump was tucking into one a few tables away from me! Their meat comes from gourmet butchers Donald Russell based just up the road, and the restaurant has its own meat chamber next to the dining area, where you can see all the different types of steak that they do and pick which one takes your fancy! They also have an open kitchen at the heart of the dining room complete with an amazing charcoal Josper grill (essentially a really hot indoor charcoal barbecue) so you can watch the chefs cook your steak to perfection.

Pick your steak then watch it cooked!

I opted for a 350g ribeye but was cajoled by the good folk from Donald Russell butchers into going for the bad boy 700g ribeye on the bone (the middle steak in the above picture)...and I will love them forever for it! That's the steak that still remains the best steak of my life! It's not just the steaks that are top notch though, the seafood was also spankingly fresh, the smoked salmon was heavenly and the oysters piled high and magnificent.

They have two private dining rooms just off the main area in the restaurant, one super sexy dark red room that screamed naughty indulgence with fine wines and oysters and another that gave you an amazing view of the back kitchens so you can watch all the goings on (I would totally go for this one if I had to pick). Too be honest though the main dining area is so stunning I would rather be in there watching the steaks cook over the charcoal.

The Grill is at the heart of the dining room so you can watch your steaks cooked and plated amidst the charcoal smoke

So the food and drink is worth the trip alone, so what about the rooms? Well I was in a standard room and the bed was absolutely massive, which is always a big tick in my book, so I leapt onto it with glee as soon as I got my key. Unfortunately it was also way too hard for me (it was like landing on a plank of wood, ouch) which really was the only downside to my stay. All rooms come with lovely big plasma TVs and a very tempting bottle of wine is waiting for you (although it's £13.95 if you want to drink it). The shower was amazing, the water pressure was so good it was like standing in a waterfall and Malmaison have, in my opinion, the best toiletries in any hotel. They smell incredible and despite rationing it out ever since my stay in the most minute quantities, I genuinely felt really sad when I used the last of it a week after I got home.

HUGE bed, wine in your room and awesome toiletries 

If you can tear yourself away from the massive rooms with their giant beds, the sexy bar with its deep comfy sofas and the indulgent delights of the restaurant, they also have a gym and a spa for you to while away your time being pampered (or work off a 700g steak of wonderment). I didn't make it that far though but I have it on good authority that their massage chairs are the most fun you can have in a spa with your clothes on!

The staff were all absolutely fantastic and really did help make what was already a fantastic stay absolutely brilliant. I really can't wait to go back there, next time though I just hope I am able to stay longer!

 Fancy joining the Sluts for cocktails at the London or Birmingham Malmaisons? Then come along to our first ever Domestic Sluttery Cocktail Crawl and lets get those espresso martinis flowing!