Sluttery Sales Spy: Oasis, Hobbs & Office

The Sales Gods are looking down on us today. They are smiling, and calculating the commission they're going to get when we buy All The Things.

THE DRESSES

Heritage scallop trim dress, £60 (was £90), Oasis

Sian wrote about this Heritage tweed dress from Oasis AGES ago, and finally it's turned up in the sale. At £60, it still isn't cheap, but it is a fraction of the price it once was. That fraction is 0.6666 repeating. *Maths Face*

Yumi lion print dress, £14.99 (was £45), House of Fraser

YES! Lions on a dress. Or lilons, as Tiny Laura called them. Big Laura has been known, in moments of language regression, to also call them lilons. In these same moments, she begins to inexplicably refer to herself in the third person, like a complete tool.

NW3 Ponds dress, £45 (was £79), Hobbs

Hobbs is doing a bonkers thing at the moment of HIDING all its best sales stuff deep in an uncategorised, unsearchable abyss. Luckily for everyone, I am an extremely patient person, and have spent literally hours (twenty minutes) looking for beautiful bargains. This Ponds dress makes me feel all ahoy-hoy and regatta-ish. Lend me your oars.

THE BAGS

J by Jas M.B. neon trim satchel, £35 (was £72), Urban Outfitters

Another week, another satchel. This time with a flash of neon orange on the strap! NICE. It's like stylish hi-vis wear. (Once, I saw a man wearing head-to-toe hi-vis - including elasticated hi-vis SHOE COVERS - and he was walking a tiny Yorkshire Terrier wearing a hi-vis dog jacket. It was SPECTACULAR.)

Pieces Remie clutch, £10 (was £16), ASOS

The safety pin is a formidable piece of design, isn't it? Never bettered. The modern safety pin was invented by Walter Hunt, fact fans! (It was originally invented in Mycenaean Greece, but we had more than enough of that last week.) Walter also invented:

• The flax spinner
• Artificial stone
• Road sweeping machinery
• A commercially unsuccessful sewing machine

Ain't seeing any of them on a £10 handbag, Walt. Never mind.

Pechon clutch, £29.98 (was £40), Aldo

Anyone else wetting their pants in anticipation of The Great Gatsby film? Yes? Well, we should form a Gatsby Anticipation Support Programme (GASP), in association with Tena Lady. While we're doing that (it'll take a while to organise who's taking the minutes, who's the treasurer, who's getting to do jazz hands first*, that sort of thing), let's all buy this Art Deco-ish bag from Aldo. And watch the trailer again:

Please may I be Carey Mulligan? Thanks. (I'd rather not have that Mumford she's married to, but whatevs.)

* OBVIOUSLY I get to do jazz hands first. I am the founder member of bloody GASP, after all. 

THE KNITWEAR

Rabbit in a hat jumper, £24.50 (was £35), ASOS

I seriously just glanced away for a second, and when I looked back there was a rabbit in the hat! I swear it wasn't there before. HOW DOES ASOS DO IT? It's like magic.

Oh.

NW3 paperclip sweater, £49 (was £75), Hobbs

I may have obliquely harped on about my love for this NW3 paperclip sweater already. And now it's fallen into Hobbs' sales abyss, but they can't pull the grey and orange cotton-mix over my eyes, those tricksy little minxes. Oh no. I have found it, and I am sharing my discovery with you, my Spyettes. No-one else knows. Don't tell them. Buy all the sweaters for yourself.

Jewel collar jumper, £22.50 (was £38), ASOS

This jumper puts me in mind of Mentos, which in turn has meant(o) I've been singing the Mentos jingle (as so beautifully performed by Tai in Clueless) for the past 48 hours. ON A LOOP. 

SEND HELP.

THE SHOES

Teddy shoes, £35 (was £74.99), Shellys

I'm not sure I can say no to a shoe with googly eyes and a tail. A TAIL! GOOGLY EYES! I haven't even mentioned the nose and the eyelashes yet. OR THE EARS. I would call the right shoe José Luis and the left one Nigel.

Wah Wah wedge, £35 (was £60), Office

If anyone's searching for a pair of wedges the exact colour of the watery bit of tomato ketchup that comes out of the bottle when you haven't shaken it properly, YOU'RE WELCOME.

Mel appliqué wellies, £26.60 (was £38), Debenhams

I want to splash about in springtime puddles immediately, wearing a pair of red plastic booties. And some other clothes, of course. The perpetual Mentos jingle is already doing an excellent job of startling strangers, thank you very much. No need for public nudity as well.

Bought any bargains this week, anyone?